Thursday, June 07, 2007

Thinks that Make You Go Hmmm

Thanks to KL @ "YAWN to Come Hither" for tagging me for the "Thinking Blogger Award!" That is soooo nice of you to say. It makes me feel awesome that the stuff I write about means something to you!

Here are the rules for the "Thinking Blogger Award":

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

Okay, so it was incredibly hard to pick only 5 blogs, and I purposely didn't mention KL's "YAWN to Come Hither" (even though I read it 5x a week), or any of the blogs she mentioned in her list, (even though I wanted to because they are great!) because I wanted other fabulous blogs to get some attention too. My apologies if I didn't include your blog. I hated having to choose because there are so many of you out there that make me think!

In no particular order:
1. Weight of My World by JessiferSeabs
2. Patience by Angelfish24
3. Yet Another Weight Watchers Blog by Jen
4. Lily Loss Lbs. by LilyT
5. Baby Steps V by Vickie

I weighed-in tonight and I have great news - I'm in a new decade! I'm at 168.2 lbs. That number looks surreal. I'm having a hard time accepting that I've lost so much weight. It doesn't seem real, but then I check the size of the clothes I am wearing, or a surreptitiously step on a scale besides the WW ones, and I am reminded that I have, in fact, lost the weight. I don't see myself as any different when I look in the mirror, except when I'm wearing a bathing suit, then I notice a difference from last summer. This whole weight loss thing is a weird thing to go through. It shouldn't really change your life (it doesn't make you any more of a valuable or love-able person) but it's a big change in some ways if you've been overweight for years. I guess I'm not articulating myself very well tonight. I guess what I'm saying is that even though I've lost all this weight, I still feel overweight. I don't really feel any different. On a day-to-day basis, I don't think I feel better about myself. I don't think I have more self-esteem. Okay, I enjoyed wearing the little black dress to graduation, but that was a one shot deal. Truthfully, even though I hadn't fit into it in years, when I looked at myself in the mirror I didn't look as good as I remember thinking I did when I first bought it in 1997. Kinda sad. Has anyone ever felt this way?

10 comments:

angelfish24 said...

Wow, way to go go on getting into the 160's! Woohoo. Also, thanks for the thinking blogger award. I will do one soon too to pass it along, I mean some good blogs I read.
No, don't know what you mean yet by thinking you don't look as good in a outfit, cause I'm not there yet! I have a feeling it will be true with me as I may lose but I won't have the body I had in my 20's. But, I think I can get close.
I was hoping, that I you would say you feel a lot better with losing the weight and that your self esteem skyrocketed but I know that prob. won't happen with me either. We're still works in progress.
Have a good week.

Amazon Alanna said...

There is so much to congratulate you for: hitting the 160s, the thinking blogger award...wowzers!

As for the question that you asked me on my blog...I haven't had a set exercise routine in about forever...I remember it snowballing. When I have a lot of time, it's much easier to get to the gym. I don't like having to push myself into exercising in a time slot if I can help it. I'll keep you informed if my exercise regimine sticks or not!

Kate said...

Hi, Just started reading your blog.

I haven't lost nearly the weight you have, but I get the same sort of thing when I fit into a pair of jeans or a top I used to, I don't think I look nearly as good as I used too. But then again, I'm not in High School anymore either, so I guess good back then, and good now, are two completely different realities.

VegasGirl said...

Yay!! Congrats on the 160s!! That is huge. I can't wait to see myself back there!

I have a really hard time with self perception sometimes. Some days I think to myself, "you aren't that fat. The world can bite my arse!" Other times I look in the mirror and see a cow. *sigh* It is a pretty tricky thing.

I haven't lost the amount of weight that you have, but I kind of look at it in reverse. When I was in high school, I weighed 110 and now I weigh in the 180s. Big difference. I don't think, even if I could lose a big chunk of weight, that I will ever have that self confidence back from my youth. Life has jaded me too much, but I do think I have more self awareness of myself and my actions, as well as a maturity that comes with age.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think it is odd that you don't feel the same way about yourself in that dress. A lot of time has passed, a lot of things have happened in your life, so the way you see yourself has to change too.

Hmmm....I hope that made a little bit of sense. *hugs* Congrats again on the 160s!

jodi said...

congrats on making it to the 160s, that is great news for the weekend... and i can totally relate to what you were saying... i think its harder for us to see how we've changed (physically) since we see ourselves in the mirror, day in and day out... it takes someone else to notice before i do and then i'm like, "wow, i HAVE lost weight"...

Lily T said...

Congrats on your weight loss. and thanks for the award!

Kim said...

The 160's?!?!?!?!?!?!? WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I am so happy for you!!!

Jules said...

It's so great to reach these little milestones for our self esteem.

I know what you are saying about the still feeling overweight thing. I got told off by a couple of girlfriends the other day as they noticed that I had dropped about 10 pounds but was still wearing this oversized top. They pointed out that you will never feel like you are smaller if you don't start wearing clothes that fit.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you are saying about still feeling like the same person - but I try to stay away from that sort of thinking. If I think like that, then I tell myself that just 1 brownie won't make a difference, etc. But of course it does.

I have also lost over 50 lbs and sometimes I can't believe I've done it. I still have 15 lbs to go but I tell myself everyday that I am already a thin and healthy person in my mind. That helps me make the right choices during the day.

KL said...

I feel that way all the time. Of course, I'm still about 240 pounds which IS overweight. I've always prided myself on being able to accept compliments with just a "thank you." Recently, though when someone compliments my loss, I say, "Thanks, but I have so much more to go." And then, I cringe.

I did try on last summer's bathing suit yesterday, and it was falling off of me. Things have definitely changed!

I'm so proud of your inspirational loss! Now, I'm going to check out the blogs that make YOU think!