Realizations

So, I've come to a realization over the past week. Realizing that I need to start eating healthier. Realizing that I'm missing out on life because I am working too much. I'm not sure what I'm avoiding. But, I did this to myself when I lived in New York before. I only had food to look forward to. And we all know what happens when you do that. I think I've gained about 15 lbs. since I moved back. That's waaaay too much in just 6 months. At this rate, I'd gain back all the weight I've lost in a few years and that thought just makes me so sad. And I loved going to WW meetings. It was such a great weekly ritual. I stopped by my WW location to see what hours they have yesterday. I didn't have the guts to get weighed. I haven't gotten weighed in at least 2 months. I just don't think I could handle it if I'm in the 150's again. I know, I know. There's nothing wrong with being in the 150's, unless you worked so hard to lose that weight and you kept it off for at least 6 months. They seem to have late-ish hours on Wednesdays - there's a meeting at 8pm and it is a block away from the subway stop I get off at, so my plan is to get weighed, pay my money since I'm over my goal weight and stay for the meeting. Don't worry, I'll eat a late lunch and have a snack so that I'm not starving by the time I get home at 9pm!

Did you know that my 1 year anniversary for losing all the weight was technically yesterday. We'll, that was the date that last year I came in at/under my goal weight at my WW meeting. It's sad. I didn't celebrate. It felt wrong to celebrate a goal I haven't maintained. I do have a new goal. It is to be at my goal weight by the time my "lifetime" anniversary comes up in the beginning of January. I'm not sure if this is realistic since I don't know exactly how much I've gained, but my goal weight is actually about 6 lbs. higher than the weight I was maintaining when I first moved to New York, so I think it is doable. If I'm at like 150 or 151, I'd only have 10 or 11 lbs. to lose by early January. I think that's doable. I feel good about having a goal again. I think I need to get weighed every week. And I think I need to do it somewhere where I'm accountable. I don't think buying a scale would work. But, maybe it would. I don't know. What do you think? You know what, screw it. I am going to go out and buy a scale today. I've tried to live without one and maybe if I try to live with one I will be successful. I know it shouldn't be all about your weight. I have also started walking in the mornings and next week I'm planning to start running again. My focus has just been all off for the past few months. I've been working way too much. I need to figure out how to be committed to my job, but not only committed to my job. Any suggestions?