Thursday, September 20, 2007

Oh my gosh, I hit 75 lbs. lost!

I can't believe it. I wasn't expecting it at my weigh-in today. I'm officially down 75.4 lbs! I'm in shock. I want to celebrate, but I don't know what to do with myself! This is so exciting, I think I should dance around my living room.

Okay, done dancing... I must say the more weight I lose, the more worried I get in a way. I know it sounds odd, but I keep wondering when I'm going to start gaining weight again. I mean, can I really keep it off? Honestly, I get enough to eat and I don't feel like I'm depriving myself, but I pretty much eat every meal alone, so I'm never jealous of what is on someone else's plate. I've stopped keeping alcohol in the house. So, I don't have many temptations (excluding the odd craving for Skinny Cow or Klondikes). I'm not sure if my goal is low enough. It is the top number on the weight loss charts for someone my height. Some charts say its 140 and some say 141. Should I reset my goal for 135 so I have some wiggle room? Or should I say to hell with the height/weight charts, I'm happy when I get to 141?

I now weigh less than my mother. This is a big deal. I haven't weighed less than my mother since I was a kid. What if I'm a smaller size than she is? Have I betrayed her in some way by losing this weight? Should I stop losing weight so that I don't get any smaller than she is? (This isn't based on anything she has said, this is all the crazy stuff in my head.)

So, you can see I have mixed emotions about getting down towards my goal weight. I've been scared of it and now I can see it coming and I don't know how to handle it.

12 comments:

Vickie said...

We have a lot of the weird mother/daughter stuff at our house because as I have been loosing, the girls are growing.

So the middle child, that is shorter than me by a couple inches, now wears a bigger shoe size than I do.

When you take jeans out of the dryer, it is hard to tell at first glance - if they are mine or hers.

Our underwear is only one size apart, etc.

It is possible that I will end up smaller than her, as she is only 13 and may grow more (I didn't - I have been the same height since 6th grade and she is now in 8th).

When I buy clothes/things for me - I am considering that I might get smaller - when we buy things for her - we have to consider that she might still get bigger.

Weird is the only way to describe it. It is like I don't know whether I am coming or going.

And when I started to have the feelings that you are describing - that is when I started going to my therapist.

You have a lot of resources through WW - find out if there are meetings that are geared toward this type of thing - because the group leader is geared toward maintenance, end goals, etc. I think that I remember someone blogging about the fact that you CAN go to more than one group, meeting per week.

Vickie said...

Congrats! 75 pounds is a wonderful number. Your last few pounds may slide right off, or might take a while, you never know - so I wouldn't stress to much over how you will feel when you get there. You will probably be ready when you get there. I liken this to the feeling of being down to the last few weeks of pregnancy - there is a point where you panic - and then there is a point where it just can't come soon enough. It might be quite a bit of that type of feeling - this is the panic - the calm readiness will come soon enough.

Vickie said...

http://weightwatchen.com/

If you are not familiar with Roni's blog - you might want to start reading it. She is a WW person, she is at goal and has been there for a while, she posts LOTS of wonderful recipes and has lots of good links on her side bar.

There are some blogs that I have always read, and continue to read, but I have changed/dropped/added - at various points in my journey to support MYSELF/stage I was IN - it might be that Roni and other people writing from that point of view will help you now.

Cory said...

Most of us have mixed emotions about our weight loss. It's good that you know what some of yours are though. Having lost 75 pounds is really awesome!
Don't stress too much about your goal weight. If you're happy when you get to 140 and don't want to lose any more, then fantastic. If you feel that you can still lose a little more once you get there, then work on it.

jodi said...

congrats on making it past 75 pounds! what an awesome achievement... i would probably dance around too (and probably naked too, just because)... :o)

i'm sure most people go thru the same "what if" stage but i wouldn't worry about it now... it's obvious that what you're doing, is working, so maintenance should be a breeze... i think you should focus on how your body feels and then decide on what weight is right for you... :o)

angelfish24 said...

Way to go on hitting the -75 mark! Woohoo! And as for goal, maybe get to 140 and then see how you feel.
I can understand your thoughts on getting smaller than your mom. I'm sure she's happy for you and isn't even thinking about it. Maybe it will just take some time to get used to the new you! I don't think I ever will get below my mom's wt as she can't weigh more than 120 and is shorter. Oh well.

Kim said...

WOW WOW WOW WOW!!! 75 pounds is so amazing!! Yay for you!!!

As for a goal weight, I think that you should keep at it until you feel you are at a comfortable, sustainable weight for you. It's just a number, and one that only you will know for sure, so just find a place that makes you happy.

Congrats again! I am so happy for you!

Salma Gundi said...

Congratulations on your loss. The middle stage is hard in weight loss land - I empathize with you.

totegirl said...

Woohooo! Where are you? How's it been since then? Dish, woman!

I know what you mean about getting worried. Losing this weight is almost like moving up to a whole 'nother tax bracket! Now that you are there, you have to maintain, and that's pressure. But fear not, young Trixie. You can keep it up.

We must be the same height because 141 is the top of my weight chart, but I'd be happy with 150. You'll know when you get there, so I wouldn't set your goal too low. You can always go a little below but there's no need to add extra pressure to yourself. But what do I know? Nothing. So I'll keep reading and learning from YOU!

Ruby said...

Congratulations on your awesome weight loss! What a fabulous achievement!

Your goal weight? If you really need a number, use that weight chart you mentioned as a guide. Go for the top of your range and then, if you feel the need to lose a couple more pounds, go ahead. I think you'll know when you reach the weight that's perfect for you.

As far as maintenance, I say you take it the same way you took losing the weight - one day at a time. We'll always have things to learn, things to improve upon and things we struggle with, so we may as well just take things step-by-step and minute-by-minute. We gain knowledge and confidence from both the good times and the tough times, and eventually things get easier. I know you'll be just fine.

KL said...

Wow! You're amazing ... and an inspiration. I'm not so far behind you, and I love looking forward to where you already are!

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