Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I'm in a New York State of Mind

Hey there, I weighed-in today at WW instead of Thursday because I am going to New York tomorrow (more on that later). I lost the 4.6 lbs. I gained last week. I didn't mean to lose all of it in like less than a week (I think the WW scales are a little f*'d up). I did eat this week. I even used 9 of my flex points in addition to my daily points allowance since last Thursday. The most important thing is that I only had one beer since last week. I think that really helped. I TOTALLY missed my exercise goal. I only managed to do 30 minutes. There's really no excuse. I totally had the time. I just had a major motivation issue - basically, I had none. I'm having a difficult time getting used to not being accountable to anyone or anything. It makes accomplishing things difficult. Any tips from people out there who have had to deal with something like that? I mean I have no husband, kids, roommate, pet, or plant. I have no job. I don't have any classes. I do have a hobby, but I haven't sewn in over two years (although I did hem a pair of pants and alter a skirt last night, but when you used to make handbags and quilts, that doesn't really count.) So, motivational tips would be much appreciated.

I know, it sounds like a vacation, but it is weird and disorienting to not have a purpose. I have thought about getting a part-time job, but I've decided against it because I know how I'll get - I'll be so concerned about doing a good job that be consumed by it and I'll slack off on my job search. And really, any part-time job I get isn't going to help that much on the money front, so its best I work instead on spending as little money as possible. However, I have asked the associate chair of the department at school whether or not any of the professors need part-time help this summer. The school only 10 minutes away and I'd be, hopefully, working on topics related to what I want to do for work, so it might be worthwhile. I'll let you know if it works out.

So, I'm going to New York tomorrow to do some informational interviewing and networking. I have coffee with an alum tomorrow afternoon, 5! meetings on Thursday, and a lunch with an old colleague/friend on Friday. I might also be having drinks or coffee with some other old colleagues. One of my good friend's birthday's is next week, so I think we are going to have a little celebration while I'm in town, but she has a 5 month old, so it won't be anything crazy.

Not only am I nervous about all my meetings, but I'm also nervous about seeing old friends and colleagues. The last time I saw many of these people was 25 lbs. ago. Other people I haven't seen since I started my epic weight loss journey. I recently met up with someone I haven't seen since my internship last summer (before I started to lose weight) and she kept going on and on about how "skinny" I had become. It was annoying, because I'm obviously not skinny. (She also thought back in last August that it was impossible for me to lose 52 lbs. in 52 weeks, so it was nice that I silently knew I had accomplished that.) So, if she's any indication of how people are going to treat me I don't know how I'm going to feel while I'm in New York. I'm very apprehensive. I don't want it to all be about what I look like. That's not what this trip is about, not that I want any trip to be about that. The good thing is that none of the meetings on Thursday are with people who knew me before I lost weight. That way I can just focus on my ideas and not my appearance.

I can't believe its 9pm already. I have a million things to do. I'll post next Monday and let you all know how it went. Keep your fingers crossed that I stay on plan! Doing that away from home is always a challenge for me.

Take care,



Kim said...

Good luck on your trip! I hope that all of your visits and meetings go well, and that something wonderful on the job front comes from them. :)

angelfish24 said...

Yeah, sometimes I have trouble too motivating myself too but I just say, "your going to exercise at least tues-friday, there is no other option" and most times I go and after the first few minutes I get into it and it's no problem.
Good luck on your trip and your networking and seeing old friends. Just be yourself, I'm sure it will go well. Take care.

Lily T said...

I don’t understand motivation either. What I’ve noticed is that life change causes me to lose my motivation, and since you are in transition, it may not be surprising that you’re losing it. During those times, I create a schedule and “Just do it”. At times when I feel like I’m stuck in a rut, I go out and do some non-typical exercise like hiking, biking, swimming, etc (You know. Anything that doesn’t involve a gym or family room). Also, I find exercising with others motivating.

Good luck in New York, and I know what you mean about old friends/family getting hung up on your looks. My aunt came up and couldn’t stop talking about my weight loss, when I already wanted to explore other topics.

Vanessa said...

I always have trouble motivating myself when there is nothing going on. It seems easier to stay on the couch.

And this is a big transition for you. You might find it helpful to use exercise to structure your day. Are there any classes you can do in the morning or afternoon? It might help if you have a place to go and a goal to accomplish X things on your job hunt before going to the gym.

Good luck on your trip!

the veggie paparazzo said...

I hope it all goes well for you!

I actually find it easier to be unaccountable to anyone but myself and my weight loss blog. Being accountable to other people means I get to slack off when they do and drag them into slacking off. When it's just me . . . the only one I'm hurting is me if I slack off. Does that make any sense? It is how it is, anyway.

Jodi said...

Hey Trixie!

You'll do fine. Just keep up your activity. That's what I loved about NYC... so much WALKING! I felt like I was more active there then when I'm at home in Chicago.

And the focus on your appearance... I remember what that was like. I lost 30 pounds about 2 years ago, and it was oddly uncomfortable hearing people blabber on about it all the time, especially those who I hadn't seen in awhile, and especially since I too thought "I'm hardly SKINNY."

I would say... take the compliment for what it's worth. Thank them politely, and if they gush, roll your eyes and change the topic.

I got caught up in all that too, and I feel like I let the fat/skinny commentary get to me.

Just HAVE FUN!! No matter what.