Sunday, October 05, 2008

I'm Still Alive, and Blogging ...

I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. There has been a confluence of events that have kept me away. I was in Vegas taking care of my Dad before he moved to Virginia to be with my Mom. His health is okay, but he's just super lonely. I was working remotely from Vegas and taking care of him, hence, no time to blog. Then I got home and the day after I got back my cable and internet went out. That was over 4 weeks ago and the d*mn cable company still hasn't fixed the situation. I went ape sh*t on a customer service rep yesterday because my patience at this point is gone. So, I don't like to blog from work, and today is the first time I have broken down to pay for 2 hours of internet access at Starbucks. (D*mn Starbucks for no free wifi!) As you can tell from my language, I'm at the end of my rope these days.

I'd like to say everything else is going well, but it isn't. Now that fall is here I'd like to wear more pants, but I don't really fit into any of them. I lost about 5 lbs. a month ago, but either it wasn't enough, or I gained it back, because my pants don't fit. I refuse to buy a bigger size because I feel like that's a slippery slope, so I'm trying to lose weight. So, I'm wearing my skirts with tights. Not a bad plan. At least its comfy.

Overall, I'm a little afraid my depression is coming back. I've been seeing my old therapist on and off, but I can't afford to go on a regular basis (she doesn't take insurance). There are a couple other signs, but I'm not comfortable going into them. I'm just lonely and realizing that my job can't be my entire life, but I'm not sure how to get a life other than my job. Basically the same reason why I left New York 3 years ago to see what else was out there.

I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs. I do miss you guys. Actually, I have a "friend" from work who's niece is obese and I told her I would recommend some blogs that I have liked, so don't be surprised if you get a new reader :)

Take care. I hope to be back soon and checking all of you out.

Trixie

4 comments:

Clio said...

Check this link out for free wifi hotspots in NY. So you don't have to pay!

JODI said...

i know what it's like to feel like depression is right around the corner - knowing what you can do and DOING something about it, are two different battles... for me, therapy helped but it was being more open w/my friends and not being afraid to admit i was going thru a rough time... taking each day and doing small things, as much as i could, helped tremendously... glad to see you've posted and let us know how you were doing... :o)

Vickie said...

do you feel like the depression and the weight gain are two different things?

or that the gain is causing the depression? or versa visa?

do you feel like if your 'stars' were more in line the depression would go away on it's own? or that it is a chemical thing happening?

marie said...

I SWEAR we live parallel lives.

I've been in a funk too, have days where pants fit and don't and gain and lose the same 10lbs over and over.

My problem is I'm hiding away after work, with the exception of running. I need to get back into the activities that helped me lose the weight or find new ones that will keep me motivated.

The loneliness is only heightened by me not doing anything...just sayin' :)