Friday, April 13, 2007

Friends

Hey there! I know it's been a while. Sorry if you've stopped by and I haven't had a new post in awhile. I've been tied up with school work and job search stuff. Nothing interesting to report. I'll let you know if I get any cool interviews. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I've been wondering lately what's been missing in my life. I've checked to make sure I have my keys, I've made sure I know where my car is, but still I've been wondering. And I finally realized it tonight. I've missed my blog friends. I've missed you guys. I've missed visiting your blogs and being inspired. I've missed laughing and crying while ready about your adventures. And I've missed you stopping by here and leaving your supportive comments. I need to build in time in my schedule to make sure I keep blogging. This community is really important to me. :)

But on the topic of friends, I must say mine are starting to annoy me. I go to school with about 100 people. I'm not friends with everyone, but we all know each other to at least say hi, if not to have a beer together. Some of them I see everyday. Others I see every couple months. Can I tell you that only 2 of them have said anything about my weight loss. Only 2. Thankfully they have been super supportive and not pushed too much. But they are the only 2 who also know I'm doing WW. I have a group of about 5 pretty close girl friends (1 of the 2 people who know is in this group). None of the other ones have said anything remotely about it. We were talking in my WW meeting this week about managing people who ask about your weight loss and all the stupid things they say. And I said, "How do you manage it when people don't talk about your weight loss. Have they just not noticed?" And my meeting leader, dear sweet Melvin, said, "How much weight have you lost?" And I said, "Over 40 pounds." And he said, "Oh girl, they definitely noticed." So, why aren't they saying anything? They are all thinner than me. Is it that I haven't lost enough weight for them to be impressed? It is just starting to hurt my feelings that I have accomplished this big thing and they haven't said anything. I don't want to say that I think about it all the time, but I do think about it a couple times a week. Is it wrong for me to think they are kinda being jerks and insensitive?

Here's my secret. One of the excuses I used to use when I was overweight (well, I still am) was that I didn't want people to start paying attention to me when I lost weight and say things to me because I'd get self-conscious and be uncomfortable. I never told anyone that. Well isn't this irony because I have gotten what I wanted! :) No one is saying a thing.

Sorry to complain. I just needed to get it out. I feel better now. Now it's time for me to go visit your blogs! :)

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

YAY! You're back!

I had a bit of a think about why your friends haven't said anything and I'm stuck - the only thing I can say it I know how annoying it is! I'm going to have a bit more of a think and get back to you...

Can't be bothered to sign into blogger either! I'm tiiiiireddd...

Crankybee

kathrynoh said...

It's hard to say without knowing your friends but some people worry that it might be a touchy area. Like if they say you look fantastic now, it's implying you didn't before.

What are they like with other things relating to people's appearances, do they comment when someone changes their hair and stuff like that?

It took ages before most people said anything to me about my weight loss as well, then within a week I got heaps of comments, from people in different areas of my life. I reckon you can lose a fair bit of weight from your body without people noticing too much (unless they check out your body frequently) but it only takes a small change in your face and it's really obvious.

Vickie said...

When I started loosing - I started wearing totally different kinds of clothes - I got rid of all my "undergrown" stuff and only wore new and fitted.

So, people I only saw occassionally REALLY noticed -

But the people that I see 365 days a year at the newspaper warehouse (like students you see every day in class/library) didn't notice for the most part - two women and one of the women's husband (she told him) were the only ones that did.

If you told them all - that they had watched/seen me drop 65+ lbs - I don't think they would even believe you. If you told them I used to be FAT - I don't think that they would believe that either.

Don't know if that helps or not. . .

Lily T said...

Hmmm… It’s strange that out of the 100 classmates only 2 have said anything. I have found that me losing weight seems to be the first thing most people say to me. Personally I try to withhold comments like that until later in conversation, because I don’t want it to be the first thing that I say. And this also includes things that a person is wearing that I especially like. But the thought would nag me, until I let it out.

However, I think Kathrynoh and Vicky might have a point. For me, I noticed that only people I see on an infrequent basis comment on my weight loss. They may have also picked up on the impression that you don’t want to talk about it. Could be a possibility, but 98 sensitive people? That’s impossible. But I also don’t think they could all be insensitive either. Maybe it’s all these things combined?

Oh, and by the way. I totally love your idea of rewarding myself when I turn down a tempting offer!

KL said...

Most of the people I see every day haven't said anything unless it's the topic of conversation. I try not to make it the topic of conversation really often, but part of me being accountable is not hiding what I'm in the midst of.
It's the people I haven't seen in months who really notice!
I'll try to take a better picture of my hot shoes. I tried, but it didn't turn out really well. I'll try to find a picture online as well.

jodi said...

yea, that's strange but i have to agree - for people that see you more often, maybe its harder for them to notice... or maybe, for whatever reason, they are afraid to say something (sort of like asking if someone's pregnant when they're not)... maybe the next time you all go out, wear something really form-fitting - i bet they notice then! :o)

Jules said...

Well us bloggers will always notice!! I think (and I don't know your situation on frequency of seeing said friends) but I find that people who see you often don't seem to notice as much as the ones who only see you every now and then. That being said, 40 pounds is definitely not to go unnoticed. Unless ... you are still covering up in the same old baggy clothes that most of us wear when we are too chubby for crop tops and bike pants??

angelfish24 said...

Yeah, that does seem a little weird that not many people are saying anything about your wt loss. It could be they are waiting for you to bring it up as it can be a sensistive subject.
I've had some people not say anything about my 40lb wt loss too. But then other times a lot of people comment, especially if they haven't seen me in a while. Sometimes, I don't want the attention because of losing wt and don't really want to talk about it and just say 'thanks' and try to move on to a diff. topic. (I don't know why but if someone compliments me then I'll think - they are prob. thinking what a fat blob I had become and am finally getting my act together!) So, I would rather have no comments.
I'm going on and on....so I will say I hope you have a great week!

Anonymous said...

I would no more comment about a person's weight loss than I would comment on a weight gain. I may comment on clothing, hair, or makeup if it looks good. I might even venture a general comment that they look well, but I would not specifically mention weight unless they bring it up themselves. Bodies are just too personal.

Were you wearing something different the day people noticed? You may not be dressing to emphasize your loss.

Deirdre