Bouquet Toss Boycott

My cousin's wedding was Friday night. I expected to have a great time. I was miserable. But before we talk about that, here were the goals I wanted to achieve before the wedding (previously mentioned in my "Goin' to the Chapel" post):

1) Have some breathing room in the pants
2) Have the tank part of the sweater set cover more of my stomach
3) Be able to bend over and put nail polish on my own toes
4) Get a hair cut (I just put that one in there because I need one desperately. I think the last time I had my hair cut was January.)

I achieved 2 of the 4 goals. The pants were comfortable and I did get a haircut before the event. I didn't achieve #2 because I wore something different. (It ended up being a more casual wedding.) I didn't achieve #3 because I didn't try. I decided to wear closed toe shoes because it was going to be cold, so I didn't bother painting them a new color.

For some reason I had a horrible time. The wedding should have been fun. Nothing seemed to go wrong and everyone seemed laid back and in a good mood. I, however, was in a foul mood and basically tried to sit in the corner the entire time. For some reason I was overwhelmed with all my relatives being there. I also didn't know where I fit in. I didn't have a date, I didn't have any kids to look after, I wasn't friends with anyone. I tried to hang out outside with the smokers, but that didn't work so well because it was cold.

Basically I felt very obviously fat and single. I am always hyper-aware of my appearance at weddings, but this was different. Usually I am enjoying myself, so I forget about what I look like. That night all I could think of was what I looked like. I suppose I should say something like, "It doesn't matter what I looked like. All that matters is how the bride looked." But that wasn't true. My relatives told my sister how good she looked, but no one said anything to me. I was also hyper-aware of not eating the hors d'oeuvres and not taking too much from the buffet. The good thing about my bad mood was that it made me stop drinking. I figured I didn't need a lot of alcohol to make me feel worse, or do something I'd be embarrassed about later. (It wasn't much to give up though. I was drinking Miller Lite instead of the Yuengling I wanted.)

All I can say is that I am glad that night is over. I learned at my weigh-in last Tuesday that I gained 0.4 pounds. So all in all, last week wasn't a great week. Maybe I'll have some good news at my weigh-in on Tuesday. I'll let you know.