It Happens to the Best of Us

Yep, I'm up. 9.2 lbs. since mid-June to be precise. I knew I was up before I got weighed in today. My clothes had been feeling different. They still fit, but they felt different. And I ran a little bit yesterday morning and everything felt much jigglier than I remembered :) But, I'm not down about it. Yes, gaining almost 10 lbs. in 2 months is how I ended up obese in the first place, but now I can course correct. I knew I was making poor food choices, but I was in denial:

* I started having a piece of cake here or there when it was some one's birthday.
* I actually had McDonald's last week!
* I have been eating all together too many bagels lately. I started eating them again in Vegas, but usually only after hiking for 3 hours. Now I just eat them because it's morning!
* I've been eating a ton of pita too. And hummus. Both in proper portion are fine, but I haven't been measuring out portions, or even reading calorie and fat counts!
* And then there's the beer and the wine. I've been drinking too often. And sometimes its not even light beer.

And yes, I walk a lot, but I walked just as much when I lived here 75 lbs. ago. That just isn't going to cut it. I'm going running tomorrow morning. I may only be able to run for a minute, but I'm going to start again. I don't want to join a gym because for me its just a waste of money - I won't go often enough to make it worthwhile. But, maybe, just maybe, I can consistently go running. And, then of course, I need to start some resistance/weight training.

So, I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect. But I did measure out my hummus tonight and only had 1/2 a piece of pita. I'm just going to go back to taking it one day at a time. My new goal - lose 5 pounds in the next 4 weeks. That might be too ambitious, but if I was able to again that much in the same amount of time, maybe I can lose it too! :) But, I'm in this weight-loss game for the long haul. I'm just going to go back to what worked for me for so many months. Easier said than done, I know, but if I did it once, I can do it again!

Virginia is for Walking

I just spent a lovely weekend with my mom in VA. We went for 3 walks - one around a neighborhood near where my sister lives (and be amused by all the McMansions and carefully trimmed lawns), one around Lake Fairfax and one on the W&OD trail. The picture above is from a "friends of the trail" website. It was great to be outside and among so much green for a change. I love my morning walks in NYC, but it was really great to have longer, greener trails, and some company :)

I have made a commitment to get weighed at WW this weekend, or sooner. I'm trying to find a place to get weighed before I go. I hate to say it, and you all know I never say anything negative about WW, but sometimes the receptionists aren't the most supportive people when you are up - especially, I assume because this hasn't happened before, if you are up above your goal weight when you have already been at lifetime. If I am above my goal weight, does that mean I have to rejoin again, or can I just keep coming and getting weighed? I really don't know how much I've gained. I'll let you know! (Full disclosure!) I even found my old WW meeting leader on Facebook. I had had his email address and then found him on the site. And I told him I was going to a meeting, so now I have to!

Ohhh! Good news! I got my consent forms from the National Weight Control Registry last week! You are supposed to provide proof of your weight loss in addition to signing all the consent forms to be in the study (and, separately, agree to have reporters call you for interviews). You can either send in photos documenting your weight loss, a contact like a doctor or WW meeting leader, or documentation like our books that record our weekly weights at WW. I'm going to opt for the last option, since it is the most accurate, comprehensive and doesn't require any work by anyone else. (And, I'm not so sure I want to just let them have photos of me if I can't control who they send them to. I'm all for you guys seeing my before and after shots, but I don't want to get surprised if my photo is on the NBC Nightly News without my knowledge first :) So, being in the study means that you are surveyed about your eating and exercise and lifestyle habits once a year for 5 years. I'll let you know what the surveys are like once I get it! You guys should totally look into this and do it with me!

How much do I weigh?

I went for another walk this morning. I cannot tell you how lovely the weather has been here. But interestingly enough, I wasn't compelled to start running. I don't know when that will happen, but so far I'm enjoying the walking. I just wish the path was longer. It is only about 1/2 a mile and I do a loop. But, I feel like I could walk forever. Actually, there's access to a much longer path that I need to try out. I think that will be more satisfying, but obviously not something I can do before work. Probably more likely for the weekends.

I am currently obsessed with bread. Most specifically wheat bagels and wheat pita. I try not to eat it every day. I don't know what it is. I know it isn't great for me, but it fills me up and keeps me from eating something worse for me - oily, greasy, cheesy, fried, etc. Actually, I have very little interest in those kinds of foods, but I love my bread. Ugh!

I haven't been weighed in about 2 months. I'm nervous I'm above my goal weight. I'm going to weigh myself at my friend's apartment before I go back to WW. I think I need to start weighing myself on a regular basis and I don't think the once a month "lifetime member" thing is enough. I liked knowing how much I weigh. I went to the ob/gyn a week ago and she asked how much I weighed instead of weighing me and I felt like I was lying and its only been two months since I've been weighed. I think I need to know more often. I think that will make me feel more actively in control - although it has been a nice vacation not thinking about it. (As a side note, it was so weird being in a doctor's office again. I haven't been to on since I started losing weight. It was so nice to have the nurse not have to use the large blood pressure cuff. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Okay, I need to go find something to eat. I'm cooking chicken for lunch this week and its making me hungry!

Monday, Monday

Thanks for stopping by and leaving kind words (Mouse, Jodi & Vickie). You guys are too good to me! Speaking of stopping by, does anyone know how to get Yahoo to give you RSS Feeds? I keep trying to get automatic updates on your blogs, but Yahoo is all kinds of whacked. Advice is appreciated :)

I actually got up at 7:00am (okay, 7:11am) and went for a walk in that lovely park I gave you all a picture of. It was a lovely 70 degrees. There were enough people on the path - running, walking their dogs, greeting the day with an cigarette ;) - that I felt totally comfortable. I didn't really do it for the exercise as much for the peace and quiet. Tomorrow I am going to take the busier path near the Hudson. It looks a little like this picture I've included. Actually, if you want to know what the exceptionally clean version of my neighborhood looks like, watch the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie "You've Got Mail". Yep, that's pretty much it. In fact, the ending scene of that movie was shot at the garden I posted a couple days ago.

Does anyone know the song "Monday, Monday" by The Mammas and the Pappas? Well, they have to be one of my favorite groups. Back before VH1 turned totally crazy (but it still has its moments), "Behind the Music" was a reputable show. That's how I learned about the group. I went out and bought their greatest hits - can you believe I bought a cassette? :) That shows you how much of a techno-phobe I have been. (I didn't get a cell phone until the summer of 2005!) Anyway, it is a great song, you should listen to it sometime. It makes me smile.

I'll be back again soon! Take care,

Trixie

I'm Speechless

Hey kids! I don't know if any of you are still out there, being that I haven't blogged in like 6 weeks and you've probably all given up on me. But, I wanted to at least let you know that I am alive and well and still figuring things out one day at a time.

The broken toe has healed, but for countless lame reasons I haven't started running again yet. Today's lame reason is that NYC is overshadowed with black clouds and thunderstorms. Normally, this could be a good reason. But, since I'm planning on going out in it to run errands, undeterred by the elements, not running is pretty lame.

I haven't been to a WW meeting since God was a boy - okay, in like 2 months. Granted, I'm Lifetime, but I still should go more often. It sucks because that means I'll have to pay to weigh-in. I'm a little scared to see what the scale says, but my clothes still fit, so I guess that's a good thing :)

I started the application process to join the National Weight Control Registry. It is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, but you have to keep off at least 30 lbs. for at least a year. I was going to wait until I had kept the 85-ish lbs. off for a year, but I was too excited to wait. I've kept off about 50 for a year, so I thought it was okay to apply. I filled out their initial questions, but I haven't heard anything since. I think becoming a part of a "maintenance group" will be really motivating. I'll keep you all posted.

The only good thing is that I've continued to walk a lot - at least a mile a day. And since this isn't really planned exercise, just my daily commute, I think that's pretty good. I have also found that I have a beautiful park near me along the Hudson River. Check out the view of the park and water here. I keep setting my alarm early to take a walk in the morning, but so far it hasn't happened. Maybe tomorrow :)

Okay, so now I'm going to go run errands in the rain. I promise to come back again soon. I have been lurking on all your blogs and silently rooting for you!

Take care,

Trixie

Squishy Like a Teddy Bear*

Hey there, it's been way too long since I've been back. I've been doing a lot of thinking and Mouse encouraged me to write it out. In some ways I have loved this summer so far. I'm not dripping with sweat by the time I get to work, my thighs rubbing together doesn't give me a rash and skirts are now my favorite clothes to wear (and I don't have to put baby powder all over myself or wear a girdle or spanx), I don't lose my breath when I have a long distance to walk (I walk at least a 1/2 - 1 mile a day during the week and usually about 3 miles a day on the weekends. Hey, it's New York.), it just feels really nice to be alive. That may sound strange to say, but don't we all go through times when we are just getting by? When life is either a struggle or a rut? Well, it is nice to be happy and healthy, and I'm not taking it for granted. One thing that sucks is that I broke one of my toes in May. As a result I haven't run since I left Vegas. It sucks. I see runners everywhere and I wish I could be them. (Which is awesome in itself :) That definitely wasn't the case when I lived here before. I really shouldn't walk on it as much as I do, but I just can't bear to be cooped up inside all the time. I'm nervous it isn't healing properly, of course I didn't go to a doctor when it happened. It's been taped to a "buddy toe", but it is still swollen. But, I digress. Things are good, but here's the not so good.

I feel very squishy. Kinda like a soft stuffed animal. I feel like sometimes someone went into my closet at night and changed all the size tags from 18 to 4 and I'm just a poser. I know, logically I know, that I have lost all the weight, but in some ways I feel more invisible than I did when I was at my highest weight. I know I shouldn't complain, because if I added strength training, which would not require using my injured toe, I could build up my muscle tone and be less squishy. I know, I of all people know, I am in control and I can change my body if I put my mind to it. And I wouldn't change where I am right here, right now, for anything. But, I have to say that the journey through weight loss was more fun than being here in maintenance land. I had a goal to achieve, I was successful, I was motivated. I've said before that I realized long before I committed to losing weight that the likelihood was that I wasn't going to improve my social life by losing weight - that I would still be still in my jammies after work on the couch watching TV - but that I would just be thinner. It's weird when you can predict the future so vividly. So, thanks for letting me complain about successfully accomplishing a long held goal of mine :)

* My first, and only, boyfriend in college was a little overweight (more so than me - to put it into context, I was a size 10 or 12). He was an out of shape ex-football player who stopped exercising when he went to college. He used to complain from time to time about his weight and I didn't know what to say, so I once told him that he was "squishy like a teddy bear" and it made him smile and became a term of endearment. I don't think I would EVER say something like that to a guy now, I don't think it is what anyone would want to hear, but it brings back fond memories that it isn't always a bad thing to be squishy.

Secrets to my Success

Thanks again for all your supportive comments. It really is so great to be able to share that information with all of you. Jodi asked how I managed to lose steadily without many gains. Well, WW was my foundation. I don't think I could have done it without the flex plan structure, the meetings (you all know of my love of my meeting leader Melvin), and the eTools online. But, for specifics, this is pretty much what I did ...

* I found new foods that were healthy (low in points) that I could base my eating around. I really didn't have much variety ... cherrios, green vegetables, seafood, pretzels :), diet pepsi, sushi. That's pretty much it. But I liked it and it made me feel safe. It made me feel in control and I really didn't feel like I was depriving myself of anything.

* I basically decided that I wanted to lose weight more than I wanted a hamburger or french fries. A switch flipped and that was pretty much it for me. Granted, I had to make that decision over and over and over again. But I tried to put myself in situations where I had healthy snacks, where food wasn't the focus, just basically made my life about living, not about food. That was a huge change for me. My comfort system really had become food. Its what I did to make myself feel better, or treat myself if things went bad, or celebrate if things went well. Truth is, I was also suffering from a pretty major bout of depression for years. I got help. Then I was ready to lose weight. And now, I'm not saying that things don't go wrong in my life, but I now have the tools to realize I have a great support system of friends and family and I am much more capable of handling problems without trying to solve them with food.

* I realized that my life really wasn't going to change all that much once I lost the weight. I used to think to myself that I just sit on my couch all the time and watch TV, what's going to be different once I lose weight? Would I just be thinner and on my couch? I realized that losing weight wasn't going to solve my social/dating problems. And you know what, pretty much all I do is sit on the couch now and watch TV, I'm just thinner. And you know what, that's okay. I'm not disappointed. It's actually kind of nice to see that people haven't started treating me differently just because I'm 88 pounds thinner. I'd hate to have proof that the world was really that superficial.

* I found exercise I liked and looked forward to doing. I didn't do anything that made me uncomfortable or embarrassed. I find it mind boggling that women who are carrying 100 extra pounds will torture themselves with certain kinds of exercise. Is that really making them feel good about themselves? If it is, great, everyone is different, and I definitely don't know what's best for everyone. But, I just think we need to be kinder to our bodies. And some times that means we should take it slower and build.

* I realized that I didn't gain all the weight in a few months, or even a few years, so I wasn't going to lose it fast. I realized I needed to commit to losing weight for the long haul. I made a goal for one year later, then I made an end goal for 6 months after that. I realized that I was going to still be me one year later, did I want to still be overweight, or did I want to lose the weight? I was okay that it was going to happen slowly. In fact, no one at school notice until I lost about 40 lbs.

* I realized that life was going to happen. I wasn't going to be Oprah at her birthday party not eating cake! I tried to plan for those situations, but I still gained 5 pounds the week of graduation. But, I lost it within two weeks. I wasn't going to miss out on feeling free and celebrating graduation with my friends. But I also didn't beat myself up when I gained. I just went back to what I knew worked. And I am lucky enough to say that it kept working.

* And last but not least, I realize that I am super lucky. I tried and it worked. It isn't that easy for everyone, and I realize that. I feel very fortunate and lucky to have had this easy of a path to weight loss. Yeah, I can say that it took 15 months, but it wasn't the most difficult 15 months of my life. It was a really positive experience honestly. I just can't say it enough, I was lucky. I didn't have a hard time of it. The things I tried worked and I was successful. I didn't have to struggle. I didn't get frustrated. I'll say it again, I am lucky!

So, my friends, those are my secrets to my success. Thanks for asking!

Full Disclosure

Thanks for all your support! I really appreciate that you understand where I am coming from and that you care enough to comment. I am posting the results here, like Vickie so wisely suggested, so that even if I lose them in Excel, they will live on in cyber space in infamy! :)

I have more to tell you all about ... I mentioned to my new boss in conversation that I recently lost 90 lbs ... I guess I'm more comfortable with this information than she was, judging from her reaction. Not that it was totally bad.

Here's full disclosure:

Date/ Weight
05/31/08 135.6 lbs
04/08/08 135.8 lbs
04/03/08 136.5 lbs
03/11/08 135.8 lbs
03/06/08 134.5 lbs
03/02/08 136 lbs
02/07/08 135.5 lbs
01/31/08 134.5 lbs
01/24/08 137.5 lbs
01/18/08 136.2 lbs
01/10/08 138 lbs
01/03/08 136.6 lbs
12/27/07 138.4 lbs
12/19/07 140 lbs
12/13/07 142 lbs
12/07/07 138.8 lbs
11/29/07 139.8 lbs
11/24/07 140.2 lbs
11/15/07 140 lbs
11/08/07 141.6 lbs
11/01/07 142.8 lbs
10/25/07 143.4 lbs
10/18/07 144.8 lbs
10/11/07 147 lbs
10/04/07 148 lbs
09/27/07 148.8 lbs
09/20/07 148.4 lbs
09/13/07 152.2 lbs
09/06/07 153.8 lbs
08/30/07 155.2 lbs
08/23/07 155.8 lbs
08/16/07 159.4 lbs
08/09/07 160.8 lbs
08/02/07 161.4 lbs
07/25/07 161 lbs
07/18/07 164 lbs
07/12/07 160.4 lbs
07/05/07 162.2 lbs
06/28/07 164 lbs
06/21/07 166 lbs
06/14/07 166.2 lbs
06/07/07 168.2 lbs
05/29/07 170.4 lbs
05/24/07 175.6 lbs
05/17/07 171 lbs
05/10/07 173.6 lbs
05/03/07 175 lbs
04/26/07 178 lbs
04/19/07 178.4 lbs
04/12/07 181.4 lbs
04/05/07 183.2 lbs
03/29/07 183 lbs
03/22/07 186.8 lbs
03/15/07 185.2 lbs
03/08/07 186.4 lbs
03/01/07 189.2 lbs
02/22/07 189.8 lbs
02/15/07 191.4 lbs
02/08/07 192.6 lbs
02/01/07 195.8 lbs
01/23/07 200.4 lbs
01/16/07 196.6 lbs
01/09/07 198.6 lbs
01/02/07 201.6 lbs
12/27/06 202 lbs
12/19/06 200.8 lbs
12/12/06 203.2 lbs
12/05/06 206.8 lbs
11/28/06 207.6 lbs
11/22/06 209.8 lbs
11/14/06 209.6 lbs
11/07/06 212.2 lbs
10/31/06 211.2 lbs
10/24/06 214 lbs
10/17/06 217.2 lbs
10/10/06 216 lbs
10/03/06 215.6 lbs
09/28/06 217.4 lbs
09/19/06 219.6 lbs
09/12/06 223.6 lbs
09/05/06 224.2 lbs
08/21/06 223.8 lbs

End of an Era

I'm sad. So sad, in fact, that I have tears in my eyes (which is not a common occurrence for me). Why am I so sad you ask? Well, I have ended a long-term relationship ... with WW eTools. I know. It's an online program. So, why am I so emotionally attached to it? Well, it has been my friend, much like my meeting leader in Maryland, and I have realized it is time for me to say goodbye. I have been thinking about it for a while now. I haven't been counting points. I haven't been tracking my activity. I haven't even been reading the weekly profiles of WW success stories. That's VERY unusual for me. I have loved those stories. I have loved learning and meeting those women (and men). But, I just haven't been visiting the WW website. I hate to say that it is because I haven't needed it. It's just been that it hasn't been a priority. Now that scares me to say because it makes me worry that weight loss hasn't been a priority. But, now that I think about it. Weight loss isn't my priority - maintenance is. And, I guess over the past 5 months I have realized that eTools isn't helping me. It's not that it is doing anything wrong, or bad. I just haven't been going to it for support. Now, if I had all the money in the world I would keep the subscription so that in the future I would have access to it. But, right now, $12.95 a month for something I'm not using, just isn't worth it for the possibility that I might need it in the future. I did copy now all the points values for the foods that I usually eat and the activity I usually (or used to) do. I also copied down my history of weights since I started in August 2006. I really want that record. That history. That trail. I wish it was somewhere more safe than in a random Excel spreadsheet, but it is more cost effective that way. So, where does cost effective and sadness meet? I just don't know. But, it is the end of an era. My era. But, I did return to the fold in one way... I found a WW meeting I really liked on Saturday. I'll post about it this week. I am definitely going to go back. I even shared during it, and they were nice. I felt comfortable there. Not like in Maryland, but change can be good. And, when you think about it, life is all about change.

WW Expert?

Seems as though I am now being considered a WW expert. My uncle's step-daughter, who I met during my cross country drive from Virginia to Nevada, is going to contact me about WW. We talked a little about it when I was in Mississippi. She's done it before. Maybe she wants to give it another try. I say good for her. But it's weird. I haven't been journaling in over a month. And I haven't had an official weigh-in at WW for May. I think I have to go or they'll charge me to go in June, and I don't want that to happen. I couldn't understand why people didn't like to journal. I found it so reassuring. Now, it just seems tedious. Is that strange? And I don't seem to be gaining and I've been here for a month now. (Wow, time flies!) I have been thinking about cancelling my subscription to eTools, but I really want to have that record of my weight loss. It would be sad not to have that to look back on. It's weird. I'm starting to feel like a different person. Like, it took me months to realise I am no longer someone who is trying to lose weight. That seems bizarre to me. I miss it. Does that sound strange? I do. I miss the ritual of going to WW every week. I miss the support of counting all my points. I miss having that goal. It is strange how life changes. I guess my life has been changing a lot for the past 6 months or so. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I no longer feel like much of a WW expert. I haven't been to a meeting since January. I stopped staying for the meetings when I'd get weighed-in in Vegas because I just never clicked with the meeting leaders. I meant to go to a meeting the first Saturday I was in NYC, and I've had it as a standing meeting in my calendar all month, and I still haven't gone. I'm not sure why. I can't go tomorrow because I have plans. (My mom has a layover at JFK and I'm going to hang out with her.) I don't know if I'm going to be able to get to a meeting before June, oh wait, next Saturday is May 31st - awesome! We'll see if I stay for the meeting.

Sorry I'm so ramble-y. It's been a long week. I can't believe it's almost 10pm. Maybe I'll get to bed early tonight. I hope you are all well.

Hey there ...

Okay, so I've been gone for a while. But, I've been thinking about all of you and lurking on your blogs. Work has been tough. There are some management issues that I'm going through as "the new boss" which are tough. And ... I broke my toe on Friday. I tripped over the ottoman in my friend's apartment. So I can only wear running shoes, but I can't go running. Ugh! And I'm going to be alone all weekend because my friend is visiting her parents out of town. I'm also looking for an apartment and not finding anything in my price range. Ugh again! So, I haven't been thinking too much of healthy eating or exercise. I have been watching what I eat and I've started making meals instead of ordering to save the money that I'm making, but don't have a clear direct deposit for, another problem that's too Ugh! to go in to. So, things have not been going well, but at the same time my friend I'm staying with is GREAT! and makes me feel so welcome and comfortable and my boss and her boss are really supportive, even though it looks like there is going to be a long process before things get better with my direct reports. So, all things considered, things aren't that bad. AND! my mom got a good job offer that would bring her and my dad back east! I'm not sure if she's going to take it, but it looks promising. So that's the all and the nothing that is happening with me. I'll touch base again soon :)

Out of Sorts

I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while. The job seems super interesting and my team is really into their jobs and passionate. I am there are some problems, but overall, I think I made a good decision. I went to a conference last week for managers and above at the company. It was really valuable to get that kind of perspective during only my 2nd week in.

My eating has been okay, not great. But, okay. I have been swinging from eating too little until eating enough. I haven't been running, but I have started walking a lot and taking the stairs everywhere I can - in the apartment to the 5th floor, in the office building to the 3rd floor. Doing what I can, where I can. I wanted to go to my WW meetings for May, but I always seem to have an excuse not to go. I haven't really weighed myself since I got to NYC. I have weighed myself a couple of times, but there's no benchmark to judge it by since I didn't weigh myself when I first got here.

I feel really lucky in some ways - I work for a great company and I basically feel comfortable, yet challenged there and I am lucky enough to be living with a friend until I find my own place. But, I'm sorry to complain, but I feel out of sorts. It is hard to have stress, real stress, for the first time in 3 years. School wasn't really stressful for me. Of course there were times that I was on deadline, but it didn't feel as high stakes as an event for 1,500 with press and senior execs! (And that isn't even in my job description!) And, while I am happy to not come home to an empty apartment, I wish I was in MY apartment. I'm having problems getting brokers to show me places. So annoying. I just want to be settled. And, I want to have a more active social life. Just having one evening out a week isn't enough for me. So, I know, cry me a river, my life totally doesn't suck, but at least I'm being honest.

Thanks for listening. I'll be back soon, I promise.

Leaving Las Vegas

So, I'm now in NYC! I flew in a few days ago and I'm staying with a fabulous friend until I move into my own apartment, which should be in about a month. I looked at a place yesterday and it is a great deal, so fingers crossed that one works out!

Okay, confession time ... I haven't been journaling regularly for about a month now. And I've been very loose with my food choices. I also haven't really been weighing myself all that often. I used a scale at my friend's apartment that I've used before and I think I am 4 lbs. heavier. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it worries me. So, I jumped onto eTools on the WW site to journal what I ate starting yesterday ... no lie 81.5 points! (That was hard to write.) I didn't even know that was humanly possible. You know what the biggest trouble makers were ... scrambled eggs that I had at a restaurant, fried calamari (obviously!), and wine. And I didn't even really like the eggs or the calamari. I don't know why I ate them. The wine, well that was totally my doing and I enjoyed it. I really need to go back to a simpler way of eating all the time and get over the feeling like I need to "eat like everybody else". I feel bad when I don't want something like fried calamari, but the person I'm with does (my dad loves it). So I agree to it and feel compelled to eat it so they won't feel awkward eating it alone. I didn't really realize I had been feeling this way. I really got into some bad habits while living with my parents. I hope living with my friend for a month won't lead to more bad habits. I knew that I was lucky I was losing the weight while living alone. I made all the choices of what came into the house. I didn't realize how hard it was to eat healthy around other people all the time. And going back to work is going to add more stress to how and when I eat. I guess that might be why I've been feeling anxious lately.

I'll be around more often as I embark on these new eating patterns and try to figure it all out.

Mini "Sprint" Triathlon

Thanks very much for all your well wishes about my new job. I am quite excited and it was great to share the good news with all of you! :) Sorry it has been a few days without me posting. I've been doing a lot of running around lately, but I have the next week pretty open, except for packing, so you'll probably get sick of me :)

So, a few Saturdays ago my mom and I did a "sprint" triathlon at the local YMCA. There were only like 20 people signed up for it, so it only took about an hour for all three events. First we did 250 yards of swimming. The weirdest thing happened to me during the third lap. I had problems breathing. Now this is weird because I have swum my whole life - my mom had my sister and I in swimming classes as 2 year olds. I never swam competitively, but I have swum laps for exercise a lot over the course of my life. And we had a pool in the backyard growing up. So it was a strange sensation to not be able to breathe. I switched from freestyle to breast stroke to make it easier to breathe. I knew my time was going to be terrible, but I sure as h*ll wasn't going to stop! I finished and was a little wobbly afterwards, but basically fine. (My mom's time was 1 minute faster than mine. But, she psyched herself out when she heard me say I had trouble breathing because she is a super strong swimmer and has been training for this (I haven't been) and could have finished with a much faster time.

The next event was the bike. We used stationary bikes. I haven't been on a bike since November, and I've never ridden for speed or time, just distance, so I didn't know how fast to go to make a good time. We biked for 2 miles. I finished in 8 minutes and 52 seconds. I could have done it faster, but I didn't want to tire myself out. Shows you how important training is! :)

The last event was running. We ran laps in a gym. It was fun because my mom and I got to run together. I realized that I could have gone faster, but I didn't want to psych my mom out, and it was fun to run with someone else. I did do a sprint of the last 1/4 of a lap to the end just for fun. It was a 1/2 mile total. It was supposed to be a mile, but they shortened it for some reason. I finished around 6 minutes, which is about right for me because I am not a sprinter and I run about an 11 or 12 minute mile.

So, the whole event was over in about an hour. We went to Einstein's Bagels afterwards for breakfast. (YUM!) The bizarre thing for me is that it was a fun way to spend a morning. I am not a very sports competitive person, so not doing well in the events didn't really phase me (my mom on the other hand had this whole goal to be able to do all 3 events in like 25 or 20 minutes. Go mom!) A year or two ago I would never have signed up for this mini-triathlon and would have considered it torture and humiliation. Now, I loved it! It is a great feeling. I hope to do more things like this in NYC, but I have to get ready for the level of competition there - ugh!

I do have a certificate, a medal and a t-shirt to commemorate my mini-triathlon. I just wish the words "Las Vegas" were more prominently displayed on the t-shirt. C'est la vie! It will still be fun to wear when I run again in Central Park!

New York, New York

Things have been a little crazy here as of late. I have great news, drum roll please ... I got the job!

I am super excited because it is with a great organization that I believe in and it is going to be a step up in responsibility, which I think I am ready for. It, hopefully, will have been worth the wait. I move back to NYC later this month and start my job a few days later. I already have a lead on an apartment that is super affordable and right near a park so I can go running!

There have been other things going on too - I went on a great hike a week ago and chatted with a woman who is going to Nepal later this year to do a 14 day hike. She is also a former professional photographer, so I'll post a link to her blog with a lot of her photos. I also did a mini-triathlon, also known as a "sprint" triathlon, with my mom. It was fun and not something I ever thought I would enjoy about a year ago! I've also had realizations about my new body while a) sitting in those tiny seats on an airplane, b) giving myself a pedicure, and c) hanging out at a hotel pool on the Las Vegas Strip. So, I have a lot to blog about this week! I'll be back tomorrow to give you a recap.

Eating to Please Someone Else

Have you ever done that? Eating to please someone else? I haven't done it in such a long time and tonight I did and it feels awful. I was out to dinner with my Dad. We were trying a new restaurant that had 2 for 1 appetizers during happy hour. I will freely admit I agreed to the fried calamari and crab quesadillas. I will own those food choices and they were both good (the quesadillas were better than the calamari, if you must know, but both were "worth it".) But I was still hungry after the appetizers. I looked on the menu for a side salad. No luck. My Dad wasn't hungry for anything else, but his idea of an "evening snack" is half a bag of Lay's potato chips, so I knew he wasn't going to go hungry tonight. So, I saw the "Lobster & Seafood Salad" on the menu and order it without dressing. When it came I knew there was a problem, but I didn't speak up. I expected a bed of lettuce and tomato with some pieces of cold lobster and other various foods from the sea on top. Instead I was faced with a "seafood salad" kinda like tuna salad or chicken salad, neither of which I like. But, I didn't know how to say "Take it back, this isn't what I thought it was." My Dad is a clean plate club eater and also doesn't like to "make a scene" at restaurants. Sending food back is definitely "making a scene" in his book. So, I ate the "seafood salad," well part of it at least. I probably had about 1/3 of it and most of the lettuce. It didn't even taste good. The whole time I was upset and "eating for show." I basically ate enough to make it look like I liked it. I even asked for a box to take the rest home! (He thinks I'm going to eat the rest for lunch tomorrow, but he isn't very observant, so I can probably throw it away without him noticing.) I'm not even sure how bad the food was for me, even though it did seem thoroughly unhealthy. I'm just upset that I ate something to please someone else. I can turn down candy, cake, and lots of other things, but tonight I just couldn't do it. I didn't want him to waste his money. If I had been paying, I probably would have sent it back. Ugh. I am mentally and physically a little ill this evening.

Have you ever eaten to please someone else?

Back to Basics

So I realized that I haven't recorded my weight since early March and I haven't been consistently counting points for just as long, if not longer. So, I recommitted to myself yesterday to start tracking my points and journaling on WW eTools every day. I used to try to fill in what I had eaten in the past on the days I could remember. This time, I decided to start fresh and just move forward. It is eye opening to say the least. I thought I was eating a little more than my points allowance, but in the past two days it has been like 10 points over each day. I know I have flex points, but still, I want to get back to a structure I can stick with. I didn't weigh-in today because I had a phone interview at the same time as the meeting (yeah! :) but I'm going next week and I think I'm going to stay for the meeting. It isn't the same as my old ones in Maryland, but I think I need the structure. All of this isn't motivated because of an uptick on the scale. (I do weigh myself periodically, I just don't record it.) It is more a desire to feel in control again. Does that make sense?

I Love Central Park

I'm back in the great state of Nevada. I am exhausted after my short trip to NYC. It was a great time and I have another interview scheduled with the same company tomorrow (by phone), so I'm quite happy. And ... I ran in Central Park!

It was great. I did it Friday afternoon. It was chilly and overcast, but still good weather and no rain. I ran mostly on the walking paths because that's how I get around in the park and I didn't want to get "lost" on the running/bike paths that go on for like 7 miles. I did run on those for a little bit, but you are on the street with the cars and that didn't sit well with me. I'd much rather dodge the tourists and their cameras on the walking paths. I started at Strawberry Fields and ran past the ice skating rink. Then I ran past the zoo. I wanted to get to the boat pond and the area I used to hang out in on weekend afternoons when I lived in the 70's on the East Side, but I had already run my 14 minutes and I was pooped. I decided to head back and walked past Sheep's Meadow and decided to run out of the park and do streets until I got back to my friend's apartment. It was definitely easier to dodge people on the side walk than in the park - go figure. It was so cool! I'm not usually that tired after 14 minutes of running/jogging, but I think I wasn't used to all the little hills and sprinting past groups of people. I wanted to do it all again on Saturday, but I knew darn well that the park would be a zoo on the weekends and that there was little likelihood I'd be up any reasonable time before my Saturday lunch plans. I was right. But, in my defense I didn't go to bed until 4:30am on Saturday. Ahhh, to be young again :)

Sorry to not post for a week. I can't believe I did that! That is not like me. I promise to be better. I also haven't been to anyone else's blog in like for-ev-er, so I'll be stopping by in the next couple of days. I hope you all are doing well :) Viva la Central Park! :)

Rained Out?

So, I checked weather.com for a report for NYC while I'm going to be there this week ... rain the whole time. And not just a slight chance ... at least a 50% chance every day I'm there. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little rain, but I'm hoping my running plans don't get washed out because of the weather! That would be a major bummer. I am bringing my stuff any way. I figure it can't rain the whole time and I have time Thursday afternoon, Friday morning and Friday afternoon to go, so hopefully I'll at least get to go once. Send me positive rays of sunshine :)

I did go running today for the first time in a week. I didn't go far, but it was about 15 minutes without stopping, so that is respectable for me and the amount of time I have been going for in the past few weeks. It was so warm here today. I can't believe it is only March! I was in a tank top, a t-shirt and shorts and I was warm by the end of my run. Craziness I tell you!

Tomorrow is all about finishing up some work for that part-time gig I'm doing. I told him I would be gone Wednesday-Saturday without computer access. I will have my laptop, but there are no guarantees I'll get online while I'm there. I don't want to be worried about this short-term gig when I have bigger things going on ... namely a potential new career!

I'll keep you posted on what happens next!

Working Girl

I'm sorry I've been gone for a few days. Thanks to everyone who commented on my post about my digestive issues. I think I am going to forgo dairy from now on (excluding a splash of 2% in my morning coffee). I had another episode on Friday that was unfortunate. I don't know if I'm noticing issues with my body more because I've lost weight, or if it is because I care about my health more. Food for thought.

I have been super busy working on a short-term project for a company back in Maryland. I found out about them through my alma mater. I am hoping to be done by Tuesday because I am off on Wednesday to NYC!!!! There's a good reason ... I have an interview on Thursday. I am staying with an old, dear friend and catching up with some great friends while I'm in town. I don't want to jinx it, but I am really excited and hoping this works out and I get an offer. It would suck if I had gotten to the third round of the interview process for nothing! :( The second most exciting thing I am doing in NYC besides the interview ... I'm going running in Central Park on Friday morning! I am so excited. I never would have dreamed of doing that when I lived there before grad school. I still have to map my route, but I am so excited. Even if I have a bad interview, this will make me feel soooo much better.

Gotta run, time to dye Easter eggs!