Full Thanksgiving Disclosure

Just to be official since it's Sunday, my weekly weigh-in at home day ...

145.6 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 30th at home

GBU Thanksgiving with the Parents

So, I packed my parents up and they were back on the road to Virginia about 3 hours ago. Without traffic they should be home in an hour and a half, which was the whole reason they left today and not tomorrow. So in honor of Mouse, I'm doing my version of the good and the bad and the ugly for Thanksgiving:

The Good: I had a lovely time with them. My Mom and I went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and were so close we high fiving all the people dressed as clowns (or toast and pats of butter!) that were walking in the parade. We were about 4 people back from the baracade and by the time Santa's float came with the people dressed as elves and Christmas trees we were up front (see video below). It was awesome and worth standing in the cold from 6:30am until the parade started at 9:00am with all the other nice and crazy people.

The Bad:Unfortunately, my Dad only wanted to leave my apartment for smoke breaks and to walk to dinner. And he is having such a hard time walking. It is not good. He's been in Virginia since September and still hasn't seen a doctor about his emphasema and he's on a nebulizer, but still continues to smoke. My family, unfortuately is not good at tough love, so no one is stopping him. It is so sad when he makes the excuse to take a cab home from dinner (9 blocks away) because he ate too much instead of admitting he can't breathe when he walks. Ugh! How do you give parents tough love about their health?

The Ugly: I didn't have heat or hot water in my apartment from Wednesday night until Friday night. My Mom and I had to go to a friend's apartment to shower and my super in my building made me feel guilty and like it was my fault I didn't have hot water. So sad. Have I mentioned I hate conflict. :(

On the Wagon?

144.6 lbs. - Saturday, Nov. 22 @ WW
145.2 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 23 @ home

So, I went to a WW meeting yesterday for the first time in months. I knew I was above my goal weight, because I was prepared after buying my scale last week, which was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Although I think I have gone to this location one too many times saying, "Hi, I'm a Lifetime member, but I haven't been here in a few months and I know I'm above my goal weight."

So, I really liked the WW leader at yesterday's meeting. He has obviously been doing this for a while. He was engaging and funny and supportive. I don't know what it is about male WW leaders, but I think I found my new Melvin. This guy's name is Hal. He asked what we were thankful for and I said that I knew it was corny, but that I was thankful WW is national because I've been moving around a lot, but I've always been able to come back to WW and a supportive environment. (I skipped over the crazy ladies in Las Vegas who said that everyone at our meeting had a food addiction.) He also made me realize that I've kept off over 95% of the weight I lost for a year. I had been hung up on the fact that I've gained since getting down to 135 lbs., but I hadn't been paying attention that I've actually kept off the weight for a whole frackin year! Now I really feel like I have something to celebrate! I'm thinking again of getting something to commemorate this milestone. Any ideas?

If you look at the weight from last week to this week, I lost about 1/2 a pound. That works for me. I made really healthy choices until last night. Actually, the food wasn't the problem, it was the beer. Beer is my downfall. I love good beer. I had Harpoon Winter Ale last night. Unfortunately I'm still not used to not being able to drink as much as my friend who is heavier than I am. My body just doesn't metabolise alcohol like it used to. I think I am going to have to practice portion control like I do with food. It makes sense. Has anyone else had a similar problem after losing a significant amount of weight?

Tales from the Scale

145.8 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 16

Yep, that's the current #. Not an official WW number. I actually broke down and bought a scale! I have NEVER owned a scale. My mom has always had one in her bathroom, so I went through phases growing up when I would weigh myself, but never as part of a weight loss project. And surprisingly, in my tiny bathroom, it does not bother me that it is front and center. It just sort of blends in. I've only felt compelled to weigh myself twice since that first time - I don't think I'll ever become an "every morning" weigher, but stranger things have happened.

So, I haven't decided when I am going to weigh myself every week. I am still thinking about going to WW meetings each week. I should check the schedule for today, since it is Saturday, but I woke up super late (10:46 AM!) so I am all out of whack with plans for today. (The heat isn't on in my apartment, so I think that contributed to my extended slumber.) I do like the 8pm meetings on Wednesday nights, but I forgot last week (gotta add it to my work calendar) and this week my parents will be here. I still miss the camaradie of being around people with the same goal - hopefully I will find that again.

Okay, so how do I feel about the new number? Not that bad. The last time I was weighed at WW I was 144, so 145.8 isn't as bad as what I was expecting - if you recall, I was worried I had made it back into the 150's (not that there's generally anything wrong with being in the 150's). So, now I am curious to see what I weigh tomorrow evening - starting a Sunday evening ritual I believe. The 145.8 is fully clothed with jeans. I know some people at my old WW location thought I was crazy to weigh myself in jeans, but that's how I started WW. It was August 2006 and at 224-ish pounds I was not comfortable wearing shorts (thighs rubbing together, not so much fun, neither is sweating through thin fabric), so I wore jeans all summer, as I had been doing pretty much every summer since college. So, since my first official weigh-in was in jeans, I never shyed away from that in the future. Consistency is our friend!

I will report the new number tomorrow. I did eat pretty well this week - chicken or sushi for dinner, Progresso chicken noodle soup for lunch. I had 2 bagels because I was in a rush, but no beer since last Saturday night and last night I munched on my own edamame (originally frozen from the grocery store) and was super happy as I waited for my sushi to arrive. But, alas, I got in zero exercise. I need to figure out how to get myself up in the morning before work since it is too dark to go to the park after work and I refuse to spend money on a gym membership (I did that for too many years while I was super overweight and just wasted money.)

Off to make more coffee!

Realizations

So, I've come to a realization over the past week. Realizing that I need to start eating healthier. Realizing that I'm missing out on life because I am working too much. I'm not sure what I'm avoiding. But, I did this to myself when I lived in New York before. I only had food to look forward to. And we all know what happens when you do that. I think I've gained about 15 lbs. since I moved back. That's waaaay too much in just 6 months. At this rate, I'd gain back all the weight I've lost in a few years and that thought just makes me so sad. And I loved going to WW meetings. It was such a great weekly ritual. I stopped by my WW location to see what hours they have yesterday. I didn't have the guts to get weighed. I haven't gotten weighed in at least 2 months. I just don't think I could handle it if I'm in the 150's again. I know, I know. There's nothing wrong with being in the 150's, unless you worked so hard to lose that weight and you kept it off for at least 6 months. They seem to have late-ish hours on Wednesdays - there's a meeting at 8pm and it is a block away from the subway stop I get off at, so my plan is to get weighed, pay my money since I'm over my goal weight and stay for the meeting. Don't worry, I'll eat a late lunch and have a snack so that I'm not starving by the time I get home at 9pm!

Did you know that my 1 year anniversary for losing all the weight was technically yesterday. We'll, that was the date that last year I came in at/under my goal weight at my WW meeting. It's sad. I didn't celebrate. It felt wrong to celebrate a goal I haven't maintained. I do have a new goal. It is to be at my goal weight by the time my "lifetime" anniversary comes up in the beginning of January. I'm not sure if this is realistic since I don't know exactly how much I've gained, but my goal weight is actually about 6 lbs. higher than the weight I was maintaining when I first moved to New York, so I think it is doable. If I'm at like 150 or 151, I'd only have 10 or 11 lbs. to lose by early January. I think that's doable. I feel good about having a goal again. I think I need to get weighed every week. And I think I need to do it somewhere where I'm accountable. I don't think buying a scale would work. But, maybe it would. I don't know. What do you think? You know what, screw it. I am going to go out and buy a scale today. I've tried to live without one and maybe if I try to live with one I will be successful. I know it shouldn't be all about your weight. I have also started walking in the mornings and next week I'm planning to start running again. My focus has just been all off for the past few months. I've been working way too much. I need to figure out how to be committed to my job, but not only committed to my job. Any suggestions?