Taking the Long Way

Same Girl, New Location

2009-04-30T16:56:00.002-04:00

Hey all! I hope you have all been happy and healthy during my hiatus. I had some difficult family stuff to take care of in the past few months. Everyone is now happy and on the road to recovery, so it's all good. Except for the part where I got laid off a month ago. But, I have come back to my blogging roots and today I've started a new blog about life right now. Same girl. Same issues. New location. Please come visit me at:

"Meet me at the corner of 79th & Whine" virtually located at http://79thandwhine.blogspot.com/

kisses!

Trixie

I'll Be Back ...

2009-01-17T19:26:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm going on hiatus for a while. There are some personal things I need to take care of.

I wish you all the best at whatever you are striving to achieve.

Be happy & healthy

Trixie

p.s. I do intend to come back, just not sure when.

Coming Full Circle: Discovery Channel's National Body Challenge

2009-01-11T21:42:00.003-05:00

Hey all, I'm doing a little publicity for the Discovery Channel's National Body Challenge.

National Body Challenge is a FREE, comprehensive fitness and weight-loss challenge that provides the tools and inspiration - online, on television and beyond. Among the offerings include a free 30-day pass to Bally Total Fitness, access to customizable meals and fitness plans, over 1,000 healthy recipes and more.

A contact at their interactive agency contacted me to write a post about the program. But, I'm not posting just because someone contacted me. I actually worked for the Discovery Health Channel a few years ago and learned about this program from the inside out. They put a lot of effort into making it comprehensive and motivating. Actually, that is where I learned about blogs, especially health and weight loss blogs, and what motivated me to start my blog. I wouldn't say that working there made me want to lose weight, it was just the right place at the right time I suppose. So, to be contacted by them to promote this program, is just a lovely way to come full circle. (And I realize that by sharing this information, they may realize who I am in "real life," but I think I'm okay with that.)

So, I'll also update you later this week on some of the interesting information I find on the site.

My "SMART" Goals for 2009

2009-01-06T21:53:00.003-05:00

Weekly Weigh-in:
143 lbs. @ WW on Saturday, January 3rd
145 lbs. @ home on Tuesday, January 6th

Goals for 2009
Yep, it's my turn ... I figure one woman's resolution is another woman's goal, so today I think I'm ready to share my goals for 2009. Over the years I've learned that one should create S.M.A.R.T. goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, & Timely).

* Keep off 100% of original weight lost (82.8 lbs. lost - 141 lbs. goal)
It's specific, measurable (I got the scale now!), attainable (I kept off 97.8% in 2008!), relevant (d*mn straight!) and timely.

* Aerobic exercise 3x per week for at least 30 minutes (does not include my daily walking)
It's specific, measurable (the handy clock feature on my iPod), attainable (I keep repeating to myself, "I will join a gym", "I will join a gym"), relevant (need to stay healthy).

* Count points on a daily basis
I need to do this to stay accountable to my 1) portion sizes (which were always my downfall) and 2) my intake of fruits and vegetables and water (none of which I currently get enough of)

* Go to WW meeting every Saturday
This is really something I enjoy and find comforting. I crave structure and I like knowing I'll see familiar faces and my meeting leader, even if the crazy receptionist told me to "be careful" when she saw I was 2 lbs. above my goal weight! Yessh! (And it keeps me accountable.)

* Work related: Get 2 "exceeded expectations" and 1 "did not meet expectations" on next formal evaluation. I know this doesn't sound like a very challenging goal, but my company sets uber high standards.

* Post 4x per Week on my Blog/ Visit my fave blogs 4x per Week:
I see this as a selfish goal. I have missed being an active part of this community - I am so much happier when I make time for this. It has been interesting going from being a grad student, to unemployed to now working 50-60 hours per week and trying to keep my life trucking along. I am seeking balance my friends.

* Join 1 new club this year
It could be a new book club, a co-ed sports club, Road Runners, volunteering ... again, I need balance in my life, renewal, not just because of my job, but because my two closest friends are moving out of NYC this year: one is pregnant with twins (her 2nd and 3rd) and is moving to the (faraway) suburbs and the other has ailing parents and is looking to move back to her hometown (100's of miles away). I need to force myself to make more connections.

Okay my friends, there it is. 2008 was a wonderful, roller coaster of a year - things weren't always great, but they were 100x better than they have been in the last 5 years, if not longer.

Here's to 2009! Cheers!

2009 ...

2009-01-04T11:47:00.003-05:00

I was reading a post by Kim over at Discovering Me and it made me think ... what do I want 2009 to be for me? I guess I have to agree with her that I am a little fearful of what 2009 will bring. Not fear in the sense of anything bad - although that's always possible - but the fear one commenter mentioned of not knowing.

I think it would be good for me to come up with some measurable goals for myself for 2009. I suppose I should also look back at 2008 and see how far I've come. Wow. I don't know what I'm so scared of, but I feel like I'm on top of a mountain, peering alternately over the edge to the landscape down below and up at the sky and mountain tops surrounding me - a lot like I felt when I used to hike in Las Vegas. It's a weird feeling - full of promise and hope. I kinda like the sound of that. It sounds like a nice way to start off the new year :)

Family Stress, Holiday Stress

2008-12-30T22:02:00.004-05:00

Ugh, Christmas! I thought I did well on the eating front, but really, let's not kid a kidder: stuffing, gravy, chocolate mousse, my favorite beer , deep dish pizza ... the list goes on and on and on.

I tried to pick my battles and make healthy choices (steamed scallops at the Chinese restaurant, rare tuna an arugula without dressing), and make every unhealthy choice one I would enjoy, but inevitably, sometimes the "oh, just this once because it's the holidays" doesn't end up tasting all that great. But, you're hungry and haven't eaten in hours and grandma is driving you batty because she doesn't understand the concept of 3 hour lunches with your friends, so you just pick something that will comfort you. Ahh, yes, comfort food. I didn't realize until I'd ordered a burger and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight that all the family stress from the holidays had finally pushed me over into stress eating. I don't, really as a rule, eat out of stress or boredom. Some how, some blessed way, I have managed to navigate the weight loss terrain for over 2 years without eating to relieve my stress about graduate school, or not having a job, or not dating, or trying to date after a decade on the couch (literally and figuratively), or not having any money, or moving across the country, or moving back across the country, or starting a new job, or managing new employees, or dealing with new clients, or finding a new apartment (but in a building that's being renovated, hello - no cable again for the 3rd time in 3 months!) . . .

But now, after the 6 days I spent with my parents and grandmother, I am stress eating. My choices today were ridiculous. I had a bagel for breakfast, no lunch, sucked down pretzel and diet Coke like it was my job, and then opted for the burger and mashed potatoes (oh, I forgot the escargot soaked in garlic butter - I was at a French bistro). I did manage to only have two beers, but I did have cappuccino, and trust me, this joint doesn't even have skim milk on the premises (I also overheard another well-meaning young woman next to me ask for it and be rebuffed). It took like over 2 years for me to find my stress eating trigger - family drama. You'd have thought it would have come out before seeing as I lived with my parents for 4 months earlier this year, but hey, we had casinos in Vegas, so I guess that's how I dealt with my stress. Oh, yeah, and hiking and running and walking. Oops. Forgot about the exercise. Guess that's a good way to deal with things. (Insert hand slapping forehead here.)

So, on New Year's Eve morning, I would LOVE to resolve to go running ... for the first time in - let's count together - 1, 2, 3, okay, about 3 months. (The last time I remember running it was when I was at a conference in Texas at the end of September.) But, I just checked weather.com and discovered that it will be raining/snowing tomorrow. Ugh! But! I also got the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred DVD from Netflix yesterday (thanks for the suggestions!) so, I can test drive that tomorrow morning. (Saturday and Sunday look like they might be dry possibilities for running outside. Still not sure about spending $80+ a month for a gym membership.)

So, my friends, I am off to have a nice cup of coffee before bed. I know, it sounds counter-intuitive, but I find a nice cup of hazelnut coffee quite relaxing. I should have planned ahead and gotten decaf for times like these, but hey, I like to live dangerously.

P.S.

I have to say, after this Christmas, I now understand why there is the "my family is crazy, especially during the holidays" genre. I knew those movies were around, but never fully appreciated them until this year. My recommendation if you want to partake in this genre, try Jodie Foster's (1995) Home for the Holidays. I haven't seen it in years, but I think I might just get it from Netflix.

Love Actually Insults (The Movie)

2008-12-20T23:04:00.004-05:00

Weekly Weigh-in:

142.8 lbs. @ WW on Saturday, Dec. 20th

144.8 lbs. @ home on Saturday, Dec. 20th

So, that 2 lb. difference is a little weird, I'm not used to weighing myself at home AND at WW, but I'm still down from last week, so I'll take 142 or 144 :)

I just watched what I would like to call a sweet movie about different kinds of love - Love Actually. I haven't seen it since I saw it in the movie theatre years ago. (I pretty much see anything Colin Firth is in - I'm a HUGE fan of the BBC's version of Pride & Prejudice from the 90's - swoon!) It was really quite lovely in some ways, but in others, it was a little disturbing. Then tended to demonize overweight women. The character Hugh Grant's character is in love with is called "plumpy" by her parents (a childhood nickname) and said she broke up with her boyfriend because he said she was getting fat! Meanwhile the actress looked healthy. This disturbed me because what if some people really thought she was overweight? No one really clarified the fact that her boyfriend was batty for talking about her weight. Then there was another character who had an overweight sister. This time Colin Firth's character shows up at the girl's doorstep and asks her father for her hand in marriage. Of course the "joke" is that this girl isn't home - but her overweight sister is standing in the background, and Colin's character couldn't POSSIBLY mean her. I also found out that they cut another scene out of the American version that's in the British version where a guy, who until this scene pretty much as an unrequited crush on Keira Knightly's character, fat. Ugh! It never stops! I don't understand why a perfectly lovely movie had to lower itself to such tired and inaccurate stereotypes. I'm in my own living room, alone, and yet I still winced at these scenes. And really, what are they thinking - it's a romcom - their market are WOMEN! - so why make so many of them uncomfortable? why insult so many of them? why do we put up with it?

On a happier note, I got most of my stuff done today. I'm buying the tea tomorrow because Starbucks was crazy, but I found it at my corner market, so I'm going back tomorrow. I also need rain boots because when it snows here GIGANTIC puddles form that make it impossible to get from the sideway to the street without wadding through puddles about 2-3 feet wide.

On an unhappier note, I just don't feel like doing work tomorrow. Partially because I should have delegated all of this to my team, but they say they are working at capacity, so it falls to me if I want it to get done. And, in the end, I want it to get done. I guess I should be happy I'm on vacation from Tuesday-Monday. It's the first real vacation I've take since I started at the end of April. Let's see if I can stay off the computer for work for 7 days straight! So, I'll work a little tomorrow and a lot Monday and then relax! :)

MizFit's Raising Money for a Domestic Violence Shelter

2008-12-19T11:00:00.004-05:00

I found MizFit's blog through Lynn and MizFit is doing a wonderful thing ...

For every comment she receives on this post, she'll donate 10 cents to Safeplace, a local domestic violence shelter.

What a wonderful idea! I actually live next to a shelter for women and their children and I think this is such an important thing.

I've decided I'm going to do a partial match ... I'm going to match 15% of whatever MizFit raises on her blog. Sorry it's not more, but it's all I can manage at this point.

So, what are you waiting for ... go on over to MizFit and comment! :)

Pretzels & Points

2008-12-17T19:29:00.003-05:00

Ugh, counting points! I am sitting here sucking down pretzels and being terrible because I haven't counted out my portions. I forgot how hard it is to start something you haven't done in 6 months. Counting points is hard, man. I started again after my WW meeting on Saturday and I'm having a difficult time of it. I don't want to pay for eTools, but the paper booklets are too old school for me, so I made a spreadsheet in Excel. But, it requires being at home and not having pretzels in my hand. I can't say I was shocked that I ate/drank 50+ points on Saturday, but man is it still hard to see. But, that's why I'm back to counting points. The funny thing is that I don't resent it. I thought I would, but I don't. I figure, it worked for me before, it should work again. But, it's not like I was successful at WW my first week the first time I started counting points, so while I have to admit I thought I would see a big loss this week, I'm realizing that's not going to be the case. (That and I weighed myself yesterday and realized I was exactly the same weight I was on Saturday. Not bad, but not what I was looking for.)

Thanks for your ideas on how to work out in the winter. I am going to try to swing joining a gym. I think it will also be good in a sort of "social" way. I know that no one really makes friends at the gym, but its nice to be out and among people and I really haven't made any new friends since I moved back to NYC. I joined my friend's book group, but I only see those women like once a month or every other month. This week is a little lonely until I leave next Tuesday for Christmas. I have literally 3 friends I see with varying frequency. My one friend I see once or twice a week is already gone for the holidays, my other friend has a 2 year old and is pregnant with twins, and my other friend is leaving on Saturday for Texas. So, I'm trying to figure out how to spend my weekend without going stir crazy. I know all of you out there with kids and hectic lives hate me right about now, but my life isn't totally boring. It is 7:45pm and I still have 2 hours more of work to do tonight. Here's my plan for the weekend:

Saturday:
* Long walk to library for pick-up/drop-off
* Pick up dry cleaning
* Renew cell phone plan/ set up texting, etc.
* Buy red cable knit sweater dress with hood at BabyGap for niece
* Buy/make tea basket for staff at work (we all sit in the same room, so I thought it would be nice to share)

Sunday:
* Join gym
* Sign-up at ASPCA to do volunteer training in January
* Do some work (I'll be out Tuesday and Wednesday next week and the following Monday)

Attention of a Member of the Male Species

2008-12-14T17:10:00.002-05:00

Weigh-in:
145.4 lbs. @ WW on Sat. Dec. 13th
145.0 lbs. @ home on Sun. Dec. 14th

So, I'm taking down the running tool bar since I'm obviously not even ATTEMPTING to run 10 miles by Dec. 31st - sad, but true.

My new weight goal is to get back to 138 lbs. I've decided on this because I felt comfortable in my skin between around 135 lbs. from January - June this year, but when I saw pictures of me in May, I thought I looked creepy and too skeletal. (My mom says I'm crazy and that I just need to get used to a new face, but hey, it's my opinion that counts, right? And, to be honest, I miss my old face :( So, I've upped my new set point to 138 lbs. It's also obviously closer to my original goal of 141 lbs. But, I don't want it to become all about 3 lbs. here and 2 lbs. here. I just don't want to regain everything. My new fave WW meeting leader Hal said that they would be willing to reset my goal weight without me re-joining - because according to the new WW guidelines you have to be within 2 lbs. above, or below, your goal weight to be Lifetime. Sucks, but I guess it's a good problem to have?

So, I have been dipping my toe into the waters of dating and interacting with the men folk around town. It's very interesting. I had a set-up that went badly, but with my new found self-confidence I didn't blame myself, or even care if he thought I was attractive, intelligent, interesting ... (insert adjective I'm insecure about here). And while I have told every other woman the hilarious tale of how it went, when my friend asked how it went (it was actually a friend of hers husband who I met at a wedding 4 years ago who suggested the set up), I just politely emailed, "unfortunately, we weren't a good match." and left it at that. No need for him to ever potentially find out how insane I think he is, since that would be mean. Now there's a guy in my work life I'm interested in, but that could turn out very badly, so I am treading lightly in that direction. The good thing is that I have evidently shaken off the immature notions of being attracted to guys who are: inaccessible, players, cocky, etc. and I find myself only interested in guys who are, shock of all shocks, NICE to me. It is nice to actually trust myself again, a little bit anyway, that I am not interested in guys just because I find them attractive. They actually have to show some interest in me and treat me nicely for me to be interested in them. (Trust me, I am the classic doormat who never thinks she deserves for a guy to like her and ends up putting herself in situations and picking guys who don't really like her, just to prove to herself that I don't deserve the interest of any guy.) I don't have any more dates lined up, but that's okay. I need to take baby steps with this. Believe it or not, phone conversations, chats in the hallway and emails are still very hard for me. This is an arena I have no experience with. I am not exaggerating when I say that set-up was the first "date" I have had in 10 years. Can you believe that? A decade sitting on my freakin couch. What a waste.

Looking for Winter Work-Out Ideas

2008-12-13T11:40:00.004-05:00

Hey all,

So ... I need your, and your friends, collective wisdom on ideas for working out in the winter in a city. Here's the current state of affairs:

* I'm having an incredibly tough time motivating getting up in the morning to run in the park

* I already walk about a mile on weekdays as part of my commute, and 2-3 miles each day on the weekends. (Not that I'm against more walking.)

* I have about 6 foot wide, 4 foot deep space between my couch and my TV in which to move in my apartment. Otherwise, I'd be jazzercizing in my kitchen.

* Don't have a ton of money right now, especially since I just started going back to WW and I'm above my goal weight, so even though I'm Lifetime, I have to pay that pesky per meeting fee.

So, with all those annoying parameters, any ideas on how I can get my a** moving this winter? One thing to know about me, I lurve walking around and living in the city, so for the most part, it isn't hard for me to get out of the house, even in bad weather. Although, I will ask you all if you have found that after you've lost weight, you are colder in the winter. I swear I have never remembered being this cold in my whole life. I am guessing it is because I lost my extra layer. But is that even logical? I don't know how the whole thing works.

All suggestions are welcome!

p.s. Yes, here is my favorite photo of my new niece. This was her Halloween costume :)

There is No Such Thing as "Heat & Hot Water Included"

2008-12-09T20:07:00.004-05:00

146.4 lbs. @ WW on Saturday, 12/6
143.2 lbs. @ home on Tuesday, 12/9 (it's all about being sick)

I'm late for my weekly weigh-in, sorry. To be honest, Sunday I was hung-over (pretty atypical for me, but I think it was worth it) and Monday there was no heat in my apartment and I got sick. Ugh! One good thing about this whole weight loss thing is that I haven't been sick in like forever. Seriously, I remember wussing out one morning and not teaching last fall, but before that I think the last time I was actually sick and couldn't make it to class/work/etc. was the fall of 2006. I have been super lucky health-wise. Alas, my crappy apartment building is under construction and the heat and hot water are unreliable to say the least.

Okay, so I did make it to WW on Saturday and I'm really glad I did. There are some really wonderful women at that meeting and I feel really comfortable with them. One beats herself up so much for wanting to lose weight, and I just feel so bad for her. She says its because she has so little overall to lose that she feels guilty. Honestly, she's been near tears at the past two meetings I've been to, so how can you be upset with her? And the things she worries about are so universal that we all understand where she is coming from. (Of course there is also the obligatory crazy lady who talks a lot, but that is New York for you, and she's a story for another time.)

I have learned that I need to start tracking again. I don't know if I'm ready to start counting points again, but I definitely need to start writing things down. I always found that so comforting when I tracked and now, ugh!, but I know I should. I was going to join Road Runners - they start classes again in January. And then, on the way to work yesterday, walking the 10 blocks in daylight, I was like, really, running at night in New York in January and February? After winter last year in Las Vegas? I don't think I can do it. I know I'm a wuss (okay, twice I've used that word during this post!), but I just don't think I can do it.

Okay, I'm off to weigh myself in the bathroom. I'll post it at the top. Ugh!

Full Thanksgiving Disclosure

2008-11-30T23:07:00.002-05:00

Just to be official since it's Sunday, my weekly weigh-in at home day ...

145.6 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 30th at home

GBU Thanksgiving with the Parents

2008-11-29T15:00:00.004-05:00

So, I packed my parents up and they were back on the road to Virginia about 3 hours ago. Without traffic they should be home in an hour and a half, which was the whole reason they left today and not tomorrow. So in honor of Mouse, I'm doing my version of the good and the bad and the ugly for Thanksgiving:

The Good: I had a lovely time with them. My Mom and I went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and were so close we high fiving all the people dressed as clowns (or toast and pats of butter!) that were walking in the parade. We were about 4 people back from the baracade and by the time Santa's float came with the people dressed as elves and Christmas trees we were up front (see video below). It was awesome and worth standing in the cold from 6:30am until the parade started at 9:00am with all the other nice and crazy people.

The Bad:Unfortunately, my Dad only wanted to leave my apartment for smoke breaks and to walk to dinner. And he is having such a hard time walking. It is not good. He's been in Virginia since September and still hasn't seen a doctor about his emphasema and he's on a nebulizer, but still continues to smoke. My family, unfortuately is not good at tough love, so no one is stopping him. It is so sad when he makes the excuse to take a cab home from dinner (9 blocks away) because he ate too much instead of admitting he can't breathe when he walks. Ugh! How do you give parents tough love about their health?

The Ugly: I didn't have heat or hot water in my apartment from Wednesday night until Friday night. My Mom and I had to go to a friend's apartment to shower and my super in my building made me feel guilty and like it was my fault I didn't have hot water. So sad. Have I mentioned I hate conflict. :(

On the Wagon?

2008-11-23T23:06:00.004-05:00

144.6 lbs. - Saturday, Nov. 22 @ WW
145.2 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 23 @ home

So, I went to a WW meeting yesterday for the first time in months. I knew I was above my goal weight, because I was prepared after buying my scale last week, which was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Although I think I have gone to this location one too many times saying, "Hi, I'm a Lifetime member, but I haven't been here in a few months and I know I'm above my goal weight."

So, I really liked the WW leader at yesterday's meeting. He has obviously been doing this for a while. He was engaging and funny and supportive. I don't know what it is about male WW leaders, but I think I found my new Melvin. This guy's name is Hal. He asked what we were thankful for and I said that I knew it was corny, but that I was thankful WW is national because I've been moving around a lot, but I've always been able to come back to WW and a supportive environment. (I skipped over the crazy ladies in Las Vegas who said that everyone at our meeting had a food addiction.) He also made me realize that I've kept off over 95% of the weight I lost for a year. I had been hung up on the fact that I've gained since getting down to 135 lbs., but I hadn't been paying attention that I've actually kept off the weight for a whole frackin year! Now I really feel like I have something to celebrate! I'm thinking again of getting something to commemorate this milestone. Any ideas?

If you look at the weight from last week to this week, I lost about 1/2 a pound. That works for me. I made really healthy choices until last night. Actually, the food wasn't the problem, it was the beer. Beer is my downfall. I love good beer. I had Harpoon Winter Ale last night. Unfortunately I'm still not used to not being able to drink as much as my friend who is heavier than I am. My body just doesn't metabolise alcohol like it used to. I think I am going to have to practice portion control like I do with food. It makes sense. Has anyone else had a similar problem after losing a significant amount of weight?

Tales from the Scale

2008-11-22T11:30:00.003-05:00

145.8 lbs. - Sunday, Nov. 16

Yep, that's the current #. Not an official WW number. I actually broke down and bought a scale! I have NEVER owned a scale. My mom has always had one in her bathroom, so I went through phases growing up when I would weigh myself, but never as part of a weight loss project. And surprisingly, in my tiny bathroom, it does not bother me that it is front and center. It just sort of blends in. I've only felt compelled to weigh myself twice since that first time - I don't think I'll ever become an "every morning" weigher, but stranger things have happened.

So, I haven't decided when I am going to weigh myself every week. I am still thinking about going to WW meetings each week. I should check the schedule for today, since it is Saturday, but I woke up super late (10:46 AM!) so I am all out of whack with plans for today. (The heat isn't on in my apartment, so I think that contributed to my extended slumber.) I do like the 8pm meetings on Wednesday nights, but I forgot last week (gotta add it to my work calendar) and this week my parents will be here. I still miss the camaradie of being around people with the same goal - hopefully I will find that again.

Okay, so how do I feel about the new number? Not that bad. The last time I was weighed at WW I was 144, so 145.8 isn't as bad as what I was expecting - if you recall, I was worried I had made it back into the 150's (not that there's generally anything wrong with being in the 150's). So, now I am curious to see what I weigh tomorrow evening - starting a Sunday evening ritual I believe. The 145.8 is fully clothed with jeans. I know some people at my old WW location thought I was crazy to weigh myself in jeans, but that's how I started WW. It was August 2006 and at 224-ish pounds I was not comfortable wearing shorts (thighs rubbing together, not so much fun, neither is sweating through thin fabric), so I wore jeans all summer, as I had been doing pretty much every summer since college. So, since my first official weigh-in was in jeans, I never shyed away from that in the future. Consistency is our friend!

I will report the new number tomorrow. I did eat pretty well this week - chicken or sushi for dinner, Progresso chicken noodle soup for lunch. I had 2 bagels because I was in a rush, but no beer since last Saturday night and last night I munched on my own edamame (originally frozen from the grocery store) and was super happy as I waited for my sushi to arrive. But, alas, I got in zero exercise. I need to figure out how to get myself up in the morning before work since it is too dark to go to the park after work and I refuse to spend money on a gym membership (I did that for too many years while I was super overweight and just wasted money.)

Off to make more coffee!

Realizations

2008-11-16T14:51:00.002-05:00

So, I've come to a realization over the past week. Realizing that I need to start eating healthier. Realizing that I'm missing out on life because I am working too much. I'm not sure what I'm avoiding. But, I did this to myself when I lived in New York before. I only had food to look forward to. And we all know what happens when you do that. I think I've gained about 15 lbs. since I moved back. That's waaaay too much in just 6 months. At this rate, I'd gain back all the weight I've lost in a few years and that thought just makes me so sad. And I loved going to WW meetings. It was such a great weekly ritual. I stopped by my WW location to see what hours they have yesterday. I didn't have the guts to get weighed. I haven't gotten weighed in at least 2 months. I just don't think I could handle it if I'm in the 150's again. I know, I know. There's nothing wrong with being in the 150's, unless you worked so hard to lose that weight and you kept it off for at least 6 months. They seem to have late-ish hours on Wednesdays - there's a meeting at 8pm and it is a block away from the subway stop I get off at, so my plan is to get weighed, pay my money since I'm over my goal weight and stay for the meeting. Don't worry, I'll eat a late lunch and have a snack so that I'm not starving by the time I get home at 9pm!

Did you know that my 1 year anniversary for losing all the weight was technically yesterday. We'll, that was the date that last year I came in at/under my goal weight at my WW meeting. It's sad. I didn't celebrate. It felt wrong to celebrate a goal I haven't maintained. I do have a new goal. It is to be at my goal weight by the time my "lifetime" anniversary comes up in the beginning of January. I'm not sure if this is realistic since I don't know exactly how much I've gained, but my goal weight is actually about 6 lbs. higher than the weight I was maintaining when I first moved to New York, so I think it is doable. If I'm at like 150 or 151, I'd only have 10 or 11 lbs. to lose by early January. I think that's doable. I feel good about having a goal again. I think I need to get weighed every week. And I think I need to do it somewhere where I'm accountable. I don't think buying a scale would work. But, maybe it would. I don't know. What do you think? You know what, screw it. I am going to go out and buy a scale today. I've tried to live without one and maybe if I try to live with one I will be successful. I know it shouldn't be all about your weight. I have also started walking in the mornings and next week I'm planning to start running again. My focus has just been all off for the past few months. I've been working way too much. I need to figure out how to be committed to my job, but not only committed to my job. Any suggestions?

Baby, Baby!

2008-10-25T20:04:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my sister's pregnant. Actually, now there's a new little bundle of joy in this world! Yep, I'm an aunt. I'm super excited. I haven't met her yet, but we've "chatted" on the phone. She's got some lungs I'll tell ya. But I can tell she's very intelligent and has a dry sense of humor :) Just our kind of girl! I don't know if I'll get to share photos or not, I think her parents are a little blog-shy. Bummer. So, that's much more exciting than telling you all about the long hours I worked this week, or the not so good food choices I've been making. I'll let you know if she has any special talents. They tell me she is a really bright, has an amazing vocabularly for someone who is only one day old, is a mean arm wrestler and a very cute dresser - think patterned tights, mini skirts and wellies. okay, just kidding. but, that's what all the cool kids are wearing in New York, so you know she is going to Fashion Week when she's 13 if I have to steal the tickets! I'm an aunt! :)

Short, but Busy Week

2008-10-19T19:19:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I had Columbus Day off for like the first time in forever. (Granted, I wasn't working full-time for 3 years, but who's keeping track :). Anyway, I just had the longest week ever. It was crazy. I was so exhausted that I didn't wake up on Saturday AFTERNOON until 1:30! (I know, you guys out there with kids are about to kill me right now. Sorry.) I was supposed to do work all weekend, but I really only worked today. It was cool, I was just analyzing data on a survey I put together on potential slogans for an ad campaign. But, I didn't get much else done. C'est la vie, there's only so much work you can do in a day. I was also supposed to mock-up so ads, but I couldn't access the softward on remotely. Let's just hope I can access it tomorrow morning at work before my meeting! Eeek!

As a result of all this work, there's been stress and some poor food choices. I did pretty good, but I did have a ginormous burrito last night for dinner. Mexican food is my weakness. I was going to work out this week and weekend, but that didn't happen. I'm just resting up for what should be another busy week. I'd like to go for a walk/run before work tomorrow, but I need to get into the office by like 8:30am, so I can't imagine I'll be awake enough to get out of the house early enough to get a walk in. Maybe Tuesday morning. I know, maybe isn't a good word. I should make a comittment. And, you can see I didn't reach my 2 mile running goal this week. Maybe I can at least reach my goal of getting groceries! But, I have to be happy about the fact that I officially have cable and internet again - after 6 weeks in the dark. It is fabulous!

So, I resolve to keep making good choices whenever possible, have healthy snacks available when I want to make a bad choice, and not beat myself up when I do make a bad choice. Let's see how it goes! :)

National Weight Control Registry

2008-10-12T17:45:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I filled out the first set of forms for the National Weight Control Registry. You basically "apply" to join this research project through Brown University. I think you need to have kept 30 lbs. off for at least a year. It has been something I've always wanted to be a part of since I first saw a segment on it on some news magazine show on television years ago. I just think it is fascinating that a group is researching how people keep weight off. I just received a packet of surveys, which I believe I will get once a year for the next 5 years. They were pretty detailed. I'd say it took me about an hour to fill everything out. They also want a record of my weight losses, dates and why I lost the weight each time. That part is easy in a way. I just take the record of my losses from an Excel document I created when I stopped using WW online and tracking my weight. So, for about 2 years I have my weekly weight. It's funny because they only ask for about 15 dates. Too bad :), they'll get more information than they need :) They also give you space to write about your weight loss and how you feel about it, which I think is great. There's only so much correlations you can do with data without reading how people feel. I haven't written anything yet, I think I'm composing my thoughts first. I'm going to also mention my blog and encourage them to visit to learn more about me. I don't know if they will, but I think they should know how important blogging has been to me, and all of us, in our weight loss journeys. I hope I haven't given anything away, actually I don't think I signed a confidentiality document to say I wouldn't share what questions they asked. I don't have the surveys with me or I would give you some of the questions, but I'm not at home. (I still don't have internet at home - ugh! - so I'm at a friend's apartment who's away for the weekend.) But, in the future I'll share some of the questions.

Any way, take a look at their website and see if it is something you'd like to get involved with. I thought it was going to motivate me to stay at goal (I'm actually up a few pounds, as you all know :), but what it has actually done is make me proud of how far I've come and how long I've been here. My 1st anniversary at goal - and I will be back at goal for it! - is in a few months. I'm excited. I had started to get used to my new body, but lately I've just been going shopping to try clothes on because it is so strange to me. Bewildering actually. To believe this is my body. True, I've gained about 10 lbs. from my lowest weight to where I am now, but it is still so wholely different from where I was for so long. I'm sorry if I've said all this before. I know I have, but in some way it doesn't feel like it. It feels so new all of a sudden. I wonder why?

I'm Still Alive, and Blogging ...

2008-10-05T10:41:00.002-04:00

I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long. There has been a confluence of events that have kept me away. I was in Vegas taking care of my Dad before he moved to Virginia to be with my Mom. His health is okay, but he's just super lonely. I was working remotely from Vegas and taking care of him, hence, no time to blog. Then I got home and the day after I got back my cable and internet went out. That was over 4 weeks ago and the d*mn cable company still hasn't fixed the situation. I went ape sh*t on a customer service rep yesterday because my patience at this point is gone. So, I don't like to blog from work, and today is the first time I have broken down to pay for 2 hours of internet access at Starbucks. (D*mn Starbucks for no free wifi!) As you can tell from my language, I'm at the end of my rope these days.

I'd like to say everything else is going well, but it isn't. Now that fall is here I'd like to wear more pants, but I don't really fit into any of them. I lost about 5 lbs. a month ago, but either it wasn't enough, or I gained it back, because my pants don't fit. I refuse to buy a bigger size because I feel like that's a slippery slope, so I'm trying to lose weight. So, I'm wearing my skirts with tights. Not a bad plan. At least its comfy.

Overall, I'm a little afraid my depression is coming back. I've been seeing my old therapist on and off, but I can't afford to go on a regular basis (she doesn't take insurance). There are a couple other signs, but I'm not comfortable going into them. I'm just lonely and realizing that my job can't be my entire life, but I'm not sure how to get a life other than my job. Basically the same reason why I left New York 3 years ago to see what else was out there.

I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting on your blogs. I do miss you guys. Actually, I have a "friend" from work who's niece is obese and I told her I would recommend some blogs that I have liked, so don't be surprised if you get a new reader :)

Take care. I hope to be back soon and checking all of you out.

Trixie

It Happens to the Best of Us

2008-08-22T20:44:00.003-04:00

Yep, I'm up. 9.2 lbs. since mid-June to be precise. I knew I was up before I got weighed in today. My clothes had been feeling different. They still fit, but they felt different. And I ran a little bit yesterday morning and everything felt much jigglier than I remembered :) But, I'm not down about it. Yes, gaining almost 10 lbs. in 2 months is how I ended up obese in the first place, but now I can course correct. I knew I was making poor food choices, but I was in denial:

* I started having a piece of cake here or there when it was some one's birthday.
* I actually had McDonald's last week!
* I have been eating all together too many bagels lately. I started eating them again in Vegas, but usually only after hiking for 3 hours. Now I just eat them because it's morning!
* I've been eating a ton of pita too. And hummus. Both in proper portion are fine, but I haven't been measuring out portions, or even reading calorie and fat counts!
* And then there's the beer and the wine. I've been drinking too often. And sometimes its not even light beer.

And yes, I walk a lot, but I walked just as much when I lived here 75 lbs. ago. That just isn't going to cut it. I'm going running tomorrow morning. I may only be able to run for a minute, but I'm going to start again. I don't want to join a gym because for me its just a waste of money - I won't go often enough to make it worthwhile. But, maybe, just maybe, I can consistently go running. And, then of course, I need to start some resistance/weight training.

So, I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect. But I did measure out my hummus tonight and only had 1/2 a piece of pita. I'm just going to go back to taking it one day at a time. My new goal - lose 5 pounds in the next 4 weeks. That might be too ambitious, but if I was able to again that much in the same amount of time, maybe I can lose it too! :) But, I'm in this weight-loss game for the long haul. I'm just going to go back to what worked for me for so many months. Easier said than done, I know, but if I did it once, I can do it again!

Virginia is for Walking

2008-08-19T16:13:00.004-04:00

I just spent a lovely weekend with my mom in VA. We went for 3 walks - one around a neighborhood near where my sister lives (and be amused by all the McMansions and carefully trimmed lawns), one around Lake Fairfax and one on the W&OD trail. The picture above is from a "friends of the trail" website. It was great to be outside and among so much green for a change. I love my morning walks in NYC, but it was really great to have longer, greener trails, and some company :)

I have made a commitment to get weighed at WW this weekend, or sooner. I'm trying to find a place to get weighed before I go. I hate to say it, and you all know I never say anything negative about WW, but sometimes the receptionists aren't the most supportive people when you are up - especially, I assume because this hasn't happened before, if you are up above your goal weight when you have already been at lifetime. If I am above my goal weight, does that mean I have to rejoin again, or can I just keep coming and getting weighed? I really don't know how much I've gained. I'll let you know! (Full disclosure!) I even found my old WW meeting leader on Facebook. I had had his email address and then found him on the site. And I told him I was going to a meeting, so now I have to!

Ohhh! Good news! I got my consent forms from the National Weight Control Registry last week! You are supposed to provide proof of your weight loss in addition to signing all the consent forms to be in the study (and, separately, agree to have reporters call you for interviews). You can either send in photos documenting your weight loss, a contact like a doctor or WW meeting leader, or documentation like our books that record our weekly weights at WW. I'm going to opt for the last option, since it is the most accurate, comprehensive and doesn't require any work by anyone else. (And, I'm not so sure I want to just let them have photos of me if I can't control who they send them to. I'm all for you guys seeing my before and after shots, but I don't want to get surprised if my photo is on the NBC Nightly News without my knowledge first :) So, being in the study means that you are surveyed about your eating and exercise and lifestyle habits once a year for 5 years. I'll let you know what the surveys are like once I get it! You guys should totally look into this and do it with me!

How much do I weigh?

2008-08-10T16:08:00.002-04:00

I went for another walk this morning. I cannot tell you how lovely the weather has been here. But interestingly enough, I wasn't compelled to start running. I don't know when that will happen, but so far I'm enjoying the walking. I just wish the path was longer. It is only about 1/2 a mile and I do a loop. But, I feel like I could walk forever. Actually, there's access to a much longer path that I need to try out. I think that will be more satisfying, but obviously not something I can do before work. Probably more likely for the weekends.

I am currently obsessed with bread. Most specifically wheat bagels and wheat pita. I try not to eat it every day. I don't know what it is. I know it isn't great for me, but it fills me up and keeps me from eating something worse for me - oily, greasy, cheesy, fried, etc. Actually, I have very little interest in those kinds of foods, but I love my bread. Ugh!

I haven't been weighed in about 2 months. I'm nervous I'm above my goal weight. I'm going to weigh myself at my friend's apartment before I go back to WW. I think I need to start weighing myself on a regular basis and I don't think the once a month "lifetime member" thing is enough. I liked knowing how much I weigh. I went to the ob/gyn a week ago and she asked how much I weighed instead of weighing me and I felt like I was lying and its only been two months since I've been weighed. I think I need to know more often. I think that will make me feel more actively in control - although it has been a nice vacation not thinking about it. (As a side note, it was so weird being in a doctor's office again. I haven't been to on since I started losing weight. It was so nice to have the nurse not have to use the large blood pressure cuff. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Okay, I need to go find something to eat. I'm cooking chicken for lunch this week and its making me hungry!

Monday, Monday

2008-08-04T22:39:00.003-04:00

Thanks for stopping by and leaving kind words (Mouse, Jodi & Vickie). You guys are too good to me! Speaking of stopping by, does anyone know how to get Yahoo to give you RSS Feeds? I keep trying to get automatic updates on your blogs, but Yahoo is all kinds of whacked. Advice is appreciated :)

I actually got up at 7:00am (okay, 7:11am) and went for a walk in that lovely park I gave you all a picture of. It was a lovely 70 degrees. There were enough people on the path - running, walking their dogs, greeting the day with an cigarette ;) - that I felt totally comfortable. I didn't really do it for the exercise as much for the peace and quiet. Tomorrow I am going to take the busier path near the Hudson. It looks a little like this picture I've included. Actually, if you want to know what the exceptionally clean version of my neighborhood looks like, watch the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie "You've Got Mail". Yep, that's pretty much it. In fact, the ending scene of that movie was shot at the garden I posted a couple days ago.

Does anyone know the song "Monday, Monday" by The Mammas and the Pappas? Well, they have to be one of my favorite groups. Back before VH1 turned totally crazy (but it still has its moments), "Behind the Music" was a reputable show. That's how I learned about the group. I went out and bought their greatest hits - can you believe I bought a cassette? :) That shows you how much of a techno-phobe I have been. (I didn't get a cell phone until the summer of 2005!) Anyway, it is a great song, you should listen to it sometime. It makes me smile.

I'll be back again soon! Take care,

Trixie

I'm Speechless

2008-08-02T12:44:00.002-04:00

Hey kids! I don't know if any of you are still out there, being that I haven't blogged in like 6 weeks and you've probably all given up on me. But, I wanted to at least let you know that I am alive and well and still figuring things out one day at a time.

The broken toe has healed, but for countless lame reasons I haven't started running again yet. Today's lame reason is that NYC is overshadowed with black clouds and thunderstorms. Normally, this could be a good reason. But, since I'm planning on going out in it to run errands, undeterred by the elements, not running is pretty lame.

I haven't been to a WW meeting since God was a boy - okay, in like 2 months. Granted, I'm Lifetime, but I still should go more often. It sucks because that means I'll have to pay to weigh-in. I'm a little scared to see what the scale says, but my clothes still fit, so I guess that's a good thing :)

I started the application process to join the National Weight Control Registry. It is something I've been wanting to do for a long time, but you have to keep off at least 30 lbs. for at least a year. I was going to wait until I had kept the 85-ish lbs. off for a year, but I was too excited to wait. I've kept off about 50 for a year, so I thought it was okay to apply. I filled out their initial questions, but I haven't heard anything since. I think becoming a part of a "maintenance group" will be really motivating. I'll keep you all posted.

The only good thing is that I've continued to walk a lot - at least a mile a day. And since this isn't really planned exercise, just my daily commute, I think that's pretty good. I have also found that I have a beautiful park near me along the Hudson River. Check out the view of the park and water here. I keep setting my alarm early to take a walk in the morning, but so far it hasn't happened. Maybe tomorrow :)

Okay, so now I'm going to go run errands in the rain. I promise to come back again soon. I have been lurking on all your blogs and silently rooting for you!

Take care,

Trixie

Squishy Like a Teddy Bear*

2008-06-23T22:16:00.003-04:00

Hey there, it's been way too long since I've been back. I've been doing a lot of thinking and Mouse encouraged me to write it out. In some ways I have loved this summer so far. I'm not dripping with sweat by the time I get to work, my thighs rubbing together doesn't give me a rash and skirts are now my favorite clothes to wear (and I don't have to put baby powder all over myself or wear a girdle or spanx), I don't lose my breath when I have a long distance to walk (I walk at least a 1/2 - 1 mile a day during the week and usually about 3 miles a day on the weekends. Hey, it's New York.), it just feels really nice to be alive. That may sound strange to say, but don't we all go through times when we are just getting by? When life is either a struggle or a rut? Well, it is nice to be happy and healthy, and I'm not taking it for granted. One thing that sucks is that I broke one of my toes in May. As a result I haven't run since I left Vegas. It sucks. I see runners everywhere and I wish I could be them. (Which is awesome in itself :) That definitely wasn't the case when I lived here before. I really shouldn't walk on it as much as I do, but I just can't bear to be cooped up inside all the time. I'm nervous it isn't healing properly, of course I didn't go to a doctor when it happened. It's been taped to a "buddy toe", but it is still swollen. But, I digress. Things are good, but here's the not so good.

I feel very squishy. Kinda like a soft stuffed animal. I feel like sometimes someone went into my closet at night and changed all the size tags from 18 to 4 and I'm just a poser. I know, logically I know, that I have lost all the weight, but in some ways I feel more invisible than I did when I was at my highest weight. I know I shouldn't complain, because if I added strength training, which would not require using my injured toe, I could build up my muscle tone and be less squishy. I know, I of all people know, I am in control and I can change my body if I put my mind to it. And I wouldn't change where I am right here, right now, for anything. But, I have to say that the journey through weight loss was more fun than being here in maintenance land. I had a goal to achieve, I was successful, I was motivated. I've said before that I realized long before I committed to losing weight that the likelihood was that I wasn't going to improve my social life by losing weight - that I would still be still in my jammies after work on the couch watching TV - but that I would just be thinner. It's weird when you can predict the future so vividly. So, thanks for letting me complain about successfully accomplishing a long held goal of mine :)

* My first, and only, boyfriend in college was a little overweight (more so than me - to put it into context, I was a size 10 or 12). He was an out of shape ex-football player who stopped exercising when he went to college. He used to complain from time to time about his weight and I didn't know what to say, so I once told him that he was "squishy like a teddy bear" and it made him smile and became a term of endearment. I don't think I would EVER say something like that to a guy now, I don't think it is what anyone would want to hear, but it brings back fond memories that it isn't always a bad thing to be squishy.

Secrets to my Success

2008-06-07T18:11:00.003-04:00

Thanks again for all your supportive comments. It really is so great to be able to share that information with all of you. Jodi asked how I managed to lose steadily without many gains. Well, WW was my foundation. I don't think I could have done it without the flex plan structure, the meetings (you all know of my love of my meeting leader Melvin), and the eTools online. But, for specifics, this is pretty much what I did ...

* I found new foods that were healthy (low in points) that I could base my eating around. I really didn't have much variety ... cherrios, green vegetables, seafood, pretzels :), diet pepsi, sushi. That's pretty much it. But I liked it and it made me feel safe. It made me feel in control and I really didn't feel like I was depriving myself of anything.

* I basically decided that I wanted to lose weight more than I wanted a hamburger or french fries. A switch flipped and that was pretty much it for me. Granted, I had to make that decision over and over and over again. But I tried to put myself in situations where I had healthy snacks, where food wasn't the focus, just basically made my life about living, not about food. That was a huge change for me. My comfort system really had become food. Its what I did to make myself feel better, or treat myself if things went bad, or celebrate if things went well. Truth is, I was also suffering from a pretty major bout of depression for years. I got help. Then I was ready to lose weight. And now, I'm not saying that things don't go wrong in my life, but I now have the tools to realize I have a great support system of friends and family and I am much more capable of handling problems without trying to solve them with food.

* I realized that my life really wasn't going to change all that much once I lost the weight. I used to think to myself that I just sit on my couch all the time and watch TV, what's going to be different once I lose weight? Would I just be thinner and on my couch? I realized that losing weight wasn't going to solve my social/dating problems. And you know what, pretty much all I do is sit on the couch now and watch TV, I'm just thinner. And you know what, that's okay. I'm not disappointed. It's actually kind of nice to see that people haven't started treating me differently just because I'm 88 pounds thinner. I'd hate to have proof that the world was really that superficial.

* I found exercise I liked and looked forward to doing. I didn't do anything that made me uncomfortable or embarrassed. I find it mind boggling that women who are carrying 100 extra pounds will torture themselves with certain kinds of exercise. Is that really making them feel good about themselves? If it is, great, everyone is different, and I definitely don't know what's best for everyone. But, I just think we need to be kinder to our bodies. And some times that means we should take it slower and build.

* I realized that I didn't gain all the weight in a few months, or even a few years, so I wasn't going to lose it fast. I realized I needed to commit to losing weight for the long haul. I made a goal for one year later, then I made an end goal for 6 months after that. I realized that I was going to still be me one year later, did I want to still be overweight, or did I want to lose the weight? I was okay that it was going to happen slowly. In fact, no one at school notice until I lost about 40 lbs.

* I realized that life was going to happen. I wasn't going to be Oprah at her birthday party not eating cake! I tried to plan for those situations, but I still gained 5 pounds the week of graduation. But, I lost it within two weeks. I wasn't going to miss out on feeling free and celebrating graduation with my friends. But I also didn't beat myself up when I gained. I just went back to what I knew worked. And I am lucky enough to say that it kept working.

* And last but not least, I realize that I am super lucky. I tried and it worked. It isn't that easy for everyone, and I realize that. I feel very fortunate and lucky to have had this easy of a path to weight loss. Yeah, I can say that it took 15 months, but it wasn't the most difficult 15 months of my life. It was a really positive experience honestly. I just can't say it enough, I was lucky. I didn't have a hard time of it. The things I tried worked and I was successful. I didn't have to struggle. I didn't get frustrated. I'll say it again, I am lucky!

So, my friends, those are my secrets to my success. Thanks for asking!

Full Disclosure

2008-06-06T00:02:00.002-04:00

Thanks for all your support! I really appreciate that you understand where I am coming from and that you care enough to comment. I am posting the results here, like Vickie so wisely suggested, so that even if I lose them in Excel, they will live on in cyber space in infamy! :)

I have more to tell you all about ... I mentioned to my new boss in conversation that I recently lost 90 lbs ... I guess I'm more comfortable with this information than she was, judging from her reaction. Not that it was totally bad.

Here's full disclosure:

Date/ Weight
05/31/08 135.6 lbs
04/08/08 135.8 lbs
04/03/08 136.5 lbs
03/11/08 135.8 lbs
03/06/08 134.5 lbs
03/02/08 136 lbs
02/07/08 135.5 lbs
01/31/08 134.5 lbs
01/24/08 137.5 lbs
01/18/08 136.2 lbs
01/10/08 138 lbs
01/03/08 136.6 lbs
12/27/07 138.4 lbs
12/19/07 140 lbs
12/13/07 142 lbs
12/07/07 138.8 lbs
11/29/07 139.8 lbs
11/24/07 140.2 lbs
11/15/07 140 lbs
11/08/07 141.6 lbs
11/01/07 142.8 lbs
10/25/07 143.4 lbs
10/18/07 144.8 lbs
10/11/07 147 lbs
10/04/07 148 lbs
09/27/07 148.8 lbs
09/20/07 148.4 lbs
09/13/07 152.2 lbs
09/06/07 153.8 lbs
08/30/07 155.2 lbs
08/23/07 155.8 lbs
08/16/07 159.4 lbs
08/09/07 160.8 lbs
08/02/07 161.4 lbs
07/25/07 161 lbs
07/18/07 164 lbs
07/12/07 160.4 lbs
07/05/07 162.2 lbs
06/28/07 164 lbs
06/21/07 166 lbs
06/14/07 166.2 lbs
06/07/07 168.2 lbs
05/29/07 170.4 lbs
05/24/07 175.6 lbs
05/17/07 171 lbs
05/10/07 173.6 lbs
05/03/07 175 lbs
04/26/07 178 lbs
04/19/07 178.4 lbs
04/12/07 181.4 lbs
04/05/07 183.2 lbs
03/29/07 183 lbs
03/22/07 186.8 lbs
03/15/07 185.2 lbs
03/08/07 186.4 lbs
03/01/07 189.2 lbs
02/22/07 189.8 lbs
02/15/07 191.4 lbs
02/08/07 192.6 lbs
02/01/07 195.8 lbs
01/23/07 200.4 lbs
01/16/07 196.6 lbs
01/09/07 198.6 lbs
01/02/07 201.6 lbs
12/27/06 202 lbs
12/19/06 200.8 lbs
12/12/06 203.2 lbs
12/05/06 206.8 lbs
11/28/06 207.6 lbs
11/22/06 209.8 lbs
11/14/06 209.6 lbs
11/07/06 212.2 lbs
10/31/06 211.2 lbs
10/24/06 214 lbs
10/17/06 217.2 lbs
10/10/06 216 lbs
10/03/06 215.6 lbs
09/28/06 217.4 lbs
09/19/06 219.6 lbs
09/12/06 223.6 lbs
09/05/06 224.2 lbs
08/21/06 223.8 lbs

End of an Era

2008-06-02T22:07:00.002-04:00

I'm sad. So sad, in fact, that I have tears in my eyes (which is not a common occurrence for me). Why am I so sad you ask? Well, I have ended a long-term relationship ... with WW eTools. I know. It's an online program. So, why am I so emotionally attached to it? Well, it has been my friend, much like my meeting leader in Maryland, and I have realized it is time for me to say goodbye. I have been thinking about it for a while now. I haven't been counting points. I haven't been tracking my activity. I haven't even been reading the weekly profiles of WW success stories. That's VERY unusual for me. I have loved those stories. I have loved learning and meeting those women (and men). But, I just haven't been visiting the WW website. I hate to say that it is because I haven't needed it. It's just been that it hasn't been a priority. Now that scares me to say because it makes me worry that weight loss hasn't been a priority. But, now that I think about it. Weight loss isn't my priority - maintenance is. And, I guess over the past 5 months I have realized that eTools isn't helping me. It's not that it is doing anything wrong, or bad. I just haven't been going to it for support. Now, if I had all the money in the world I would keep the subscription so that in the future I would have access to it. But, right now, $12.95 a month for something I'm not using, just isn't worth it for the possibility that I might need it in the future. I did copy now all the points values for the foods that I usually eat and the activity I usually (or used to) do. I also copied down my history of weights since I started in August 2006. I really want that record. That history. That trail. I wish it was somewhere more safe than in a random Excel spreadsheet, but it is more cost effective that way. So, where does cost effective and sadness meet? I just don't know. But, it is the end of an era. My era. But, I did return to the fold in one way... I found a WW meeting I really liked on Saturday. I'll post about it this week. I am definitely going to go back. I even shared during it, and they were nice. I felt comfortable there. Not like in Maryland, but change can be good. And, when you think about it, life is all about change.

WW Expert?

2008-05-23T21:38:00.003-04:00

Seems as though I am now being considered a WW expert. My uncle's step-daughter, who I met during my cross country drive from Virginia to Nevada, is going to contact me about WW. We talked a little about it when I was in Mississippi. She's done it before. Maybe she wants to give it another try. I say good for her. But it's weird. I haven't been journaling in over a month. And I haven't had an official weigh-in at WW for May. I think I have to go or they'll charge me to go in June, and I don't want that to happen. I couldn't understand why people didn't like to journal. I found it so reassuring. Now, it just seems tedious. Is that strange? And I don't seem to be gaining and I've been here for a month now. (Wow, time flies!) I have been thinking about cancelling my subscription to eTools, but I really want to have that record of my weight loss. It would be sad not to have that to look back on. It's weird. I'm starting to feel like a different person. Like, it took me months to realise I am no longer someone who is trying to lose weight. That seems bizarre to me. I miss it. Does that sound strange? I do. I miss the ritual of going to WW every week. I miss the support of counting all my points. I miss having that goal. It is strange how life changes. I guess my life has been changing a lot for the past 6 months or so. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I no longer feel like much of a WW expert. I haven't been to a meeting since January. I stopped staying for the meetings when I'd get weighed-in in Vegas because I just never clicked with the meeting leaders. I meant to go to a meeting the first Saturday I was in NYC, and I've had it as a standing meeting in my calendar all month, and I still haven't gone. I'm not sure why. I can't go tomorrow because I have plans. (My mom has a layover at JFK and I'm going to hang out with her.) I don't know if I'm going to be able to get to a meeting before June, oh wait, next Saturday is May 31st - awesome! We'll see if I stay for the meeting.

Sorry I'm so ramble-y. It's been a long week. I can't believe it's almost 10pm. Maybe I'll get to bed early tonight. I hope you are all well.

Hey there ...

2008-05-21T21:15:00.002-04:00

Okay, so I've been gone for a while. But, I've been thinking about all of you and lurking on your blogs. Work has been tough. There are some management issues that I'm going through as "the new boss" which are tough. And ... I broke my toe on Friday. I tripped over the ottoman in my friend's apartment. So I can only wear running shoes, but I can't go running. Ugh! And I'm going to be alone all weekend because my friend is visiting her parents out of town. I'm also looking for an apartment and not finding anything in my price range. Ugh again! So, I haven't been thinking too much of healthy eating or exercise. I have been watching what I eat and I've started making meals instead of ordering to save the money that I'm making, but don't have a clear direct deposit for, another problem that's too Ugh! to go in to. So, things have not been going well, but at the same time my friend I'm staying with is GREAT! and makes me feel so welcome and comfortable and my boss and her boss are really supportive, even though it looks like there is going to be a long process before things get better with my direct reports. So, all things considered, things aren't that bad. AND! my mom got a good job offer that would bring her and my dad back east! I'm not sure if she's going to take it, but it looks promising. So that's the all and the nothing that is happening with me. I'll touch base again soon :)

Out of Sorts

2008-05-04T19:42:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been around for a while. The job seems super interesting and my team is really into their jobs and passionate. I am there are some problems, but overall, I think I made a good decision. I went to a conference last week for managers and above at the company. It was really valuable to get that kind of perspective during only my 2nd week in.

My eating has been okay, not great. But, okay. I have been swinging from eating too little until eating enough. I haven't been running, but I have started walking a lot and taking the stairs everywhere I can - in the apartment to the 5th floor, in the office building to the 3rd floor. Doing what I can, where I can. I wanted to go to my WW meetings for May, but I always seem to have an excuse not to go. I haven't really weighed myself since I got to NYC. I have weighed myself a couple of times, but there's no benchmark to judge it by since I didn't weigh myself when I first got here.

I feel really lucky in some ways - I work for a great company and I basically feel comfortable, yet challenged there and I am lucky enough to be living with a friend until I find my own place. But, I'm sorry to complain, but I feel out of sorts. It is hard to have stress, real stress, for the first time in 3 years. School wasn't really stressful for me. Of course there were times that I was on deadline, but it didn't feel as high stakes as an event for 1,500 with press and senior execs! (And that isn't even in my job description!) And, while I am happy to not come home to an empty apartment, I wish I was in MY apartment. I'm having problems getting brokers to show me places. So annoying. I just want to be settled. And, I want to have a more active social life. Just having one evening out a week isn't enough for me. So, I know, cry me a river, my life totally doesn't suck, but at least I'm being honest.

Thanks for listening. I'll be back soon, I promise.

Leaving Las Vegas

2008-04-27T12:05:00.005-04:00

So, I'm now in NYC! I flew in a few days ago and I'm staying with a fabulous friend until I move into my own apartment, which should be in about a month. I looked at a place yesterday and it is a great deal, so fingers crossed that one works out!

Okay, confession time ... I haven't been journaling regularly for about a month now. And I've been very loose with my food choices. I also haven't really been weighing myself all that often. I used a scale at my friend's apartment that I've used before and I think I am 4 lbs. heavier. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it worries me. So, I jumped onto eTools on the WW site to journal what I ate starting yesterday ... no lie 81.5 points! (That was hard to write.) I didn't even know that was humanly possible. You know what the biggest trouble makers were ... scrambled eggs that I had at a restaurant, fried calamari (obviously!), and wine. And I didn't even really like the eggs or the calamari. I don't know why I ate them. The wine, well that was totally my doing and I enjoyed it. I really need to go back to a simpler way of eating all the time and get over the feeling like I need to "eat like everybody else". I feel bad when I don't want something like fried calamari, but the person I'm with does (my dad loves it). So I agree to it and feel compelled to eat it so they won't feel awkward eating it alone. I didn't really realize I had been feeling this way. I really got into some bad habits while living with my parents. I hope living with my friend for a month won't lead to more bad habits. I knew that I was lucky I was losing the weight while living alone. I made all the choices of what came into the house. I didn't realize how hard it was to eat healthy around other people all the time. And going back to work is going to add more stress to how and when I eat. I guess that might be why I've been feeling anxious lately.

I'll be around more often as I embark on these new eating patterns and try to figure it all out.

Mini "Sprint" Triathlon

2008-04-20T14:25:00.002-04:00

Thanks very much for all your well wishes about my new job. I am quite excited and it was great to share the good news with all of you! :) Sorry it has been a few days without me posting. I've been doing a lot of running around lately, but I have the next week pretty open, except for packing, so you'll probably get sick of me :)

So, a few Saturdays ago my mom and I did a "sprint" triathlon at the local YMCA. There were only like 20 people signed up for it, so it only took about an hour for all three events. First we did 250 yards of swimming. The weirdest thing happened to me during the third lap. I had problems breathing. Now this is weird because I have swum my whole life - my mom had my sister and I in swimming classes as 2 year olds. I never swam competitively, but I have swum laps for exercise a lot over the course of my life. And we had a pool in the backyard growing up. So it was a strange sensation to not be able to breathe. I switched from freestyle to breast stroke to make it easier to breathe. I knew my time was going to be terrible, but I sure as h*ll wasn't going to stop! I finished and was a little wobbly afterwards, but basically fine. (My mom's time was 1 minute faster than mine. But, she psyched herself out when she heard me say I had trouble breathing because she is a super strong swimmer and has been training for this (I haven't been) and could have finished with a much faster time.

The next event was the bike. We used stationary bikes. I haven't been on a bike since November, and I've never ridden for speed or time, just distance, so I didn't know how fast to go to make a good time. We biked for 2 miles. I finished in 8 minutes and 52 seconds. I could have done it faster, but I didn't want to tire myself out. Shows you how important training is! :)

The last event was running. We ran laps in a gym. It was fun because my mom and I got to run together. I realized that I could have gone faster, but I didn't want to psych my mom out, and it was fun to run with someone else. I did do a sprint of the last 1/4 of a lap to the end just for fun. It was a 1/2 mile total. It was supposed to be a mile, but they shortened it for some reason. I finished around 6 minutes, which is about right for me because I am not a sprinter and I run about an 11 or 12 minute mile.

So, the whole event was over in about an hour. We went to Einstein's Bagels afterwards for breakfast. (YUM!) The bizarre thing for me is that it was a fun way to spend a morning. I am not a very sports competitive person, so not doing well in the events didn't really phase me (my mom on the other hand had this whole goal to be able to do all 3 events in like 25 or 20 minutes. Go mom!) A year or two ago I would never have signed up for this mini-triathlon and would have considered it torture and humiliation. Now, I loved it! It is a great feeling. I hope to do more things like this in NYC, but I have to get ready for the level of competition there - ugh!

I do have a certificate, a medal and a t-shirt to commemorate my mini-triathlon. I just wish the words "Las Vegas" were more prominently displayed on the t-shirt. C'est la vie! It will still be fun to wear when I run again in Central Park!

New York, New York

2008-04-14T13:46:00.003-04:00

Things have been a little crazy here as of late. I have great news, drum roll please ... I got the job!

I am super excited because it is with a great organization that I believe in and it is going to be a step up in responsibility, which I think I am ready for. It, hopefully, will have been worth the wait. I move back to NYC later this month and start my job a few days later. I already have a lead on an apartment that is super affordable and right near a park so I can go running!

There have been other things going on too - I went on a great hike a week ago and chatted with a woman who is going to Nepal later this year to do a 14 day hike. She is also a former professional photographer, so I'll post a link to her blog with a lot of her photos. I also did a mini-triathlon, also known as a "sprint" triathlon, with my mom. It was fun and not something I ever thought I would enjoy about a year ago! I've also had realizations about my new body while a) sitting in those tiny seats on an airplane, b) giving myself a pedicure, and c) hanging out at a hotel pool on the Las Vegas Strip. So, I have a lot to blog about this week! I'll be back tomorrow to give you a recap.

Eating to Please Someone Else

2008-04-07T22:18:00.003-04:00

Have you ever done that? Eating to please someone else? I haven't done it in such a long time and tonight I did and it feels awful. I was out to dinner with my Dad. We were trying a new restaurant that had 2 for 1 appetizers during happy hour. I will freely admit I agreed to the fried calamari and crab quesadillas. I will own those food choices and they were both good (the quesadillas were better than the calamari, if you must know, but both were "worth it".) But I was still hungry after the appetizers. I looked on the menu for a side salad. No luck. My Dad wasn't hungry for anything else, but his idea of an "evening snack" is half a bag of Lay's potato chips, so I knew he wasn't going to go hungry tonight. So, I saw the "Lobster & Seafood Salad" on the menu and order it without dressing. When it came I knew there was a problem, but I didn't speak up. I expected a bed of lettuce and tomato with some pieces of cold lobster and other various foods from the sea on top. Instead I was faced with a "seafood salad" kinda like tuna salad or chicken salad, neither of which I like. But, I didn't know how to say "Take it back, this isn't what I thought it was." My Dad is a clean plate club eater and also doesn't like to "make a scene" at restaurants. Sending food back is definitely "making a scene" in his book. So, I ate the "seafood salad," well part of it at least. I probably had about 1/3 of it and most of the lettuce. It didn't even taste good. The whole time I was upset and "eating for show." I basically ate enough to make it look like I liked it. I even asked for a box to take the rest home! (He thinks I'm going to eat the rest for lunch tomorrow, but he isn't very observant, so I can probably throw it away without him noticing.) I'm not even sure how bad the food was for me, even though it did seem thoroughly unhealthy. I'm just upset that I ate something to please someone else. I can turn down candy, cake, and lots of other things, but tonight I just couldn't do it. I didn't want him to waste his money. If I had been paying, I probably would have sent it back. Ugh. I am mentally and physically a little ill this evening.

Have you ever eaten to please someone else?

Back to Basics

2008-04-01T22:20:00.002-04:00

So I realized that I haven't recorded my weight since early March and I haven't been consistently counting points for just as long, if not longer. So, I recommitted to myself yesterday to start tracking my points and journaling on WW eTools every day. I used to try to fill in what I had eaten in the past on the days I could remember. This time, I decided to start fresh and just move forward. It is eye opening to say the least. I thought I was eating a little more than my points allowance, but in the past two days it has been like 10 points over each day. I know I have flex points, but still, I want to get back to a structure I can stick with. I didn't weigh-in today because I had a phone interview at the same time as the meeting (yeah! :) but I'm going next week and I think I'm going to stay for the meeting. It isn't the same as my old ones in Maryland, but I think I need the structure. All of this isn't motivated because of an uptick on the scale. (I do weigh myself periodically, I just don't record it.) It is more a desire to feel in control again. Does that make sense?

I Love Central Park

2008-03-31T14:26:00.003-04:00

I'm back in the great state of Nevada. I am exhausted after my short trip to NYC. It was a great time and I have another interview scheduled with the same company tomorrow (by phone), so I'm quite happy. And ... I ran in Central Park!

It was great. I did it Friday afternoon. It was chilly and overcast, but still good weather and no rain. I ran mostly on the walking paths because that's how I get around in the park and I didn't want to get "lost" on the running/bike paths that go on for like 7 miles. I did run on those for a little bit, but you are on the street with the cars and that didn't sit well with me. I'd much rather dodge the tourists and their cameras on the walking paths. I started at Strawberry Fields and ran past the ice skating rink. Then I ran past the zoo. I wanted to get to the boat pond and the area I used to hang out in on weekend afternoons when I lived in the 70's on the East Side, but I had already run my 14 minutes and I was pooped. I decided to head back and walked past Sheep's Meadow and decided to run out of the park and do streets until I got back to my friend's apartment. It was definitely easier to dodge people on the side walk than in the park - go figure. It was so cool! I'm not usually that tired after 14 minutes of running/jogging, but I think I wasn't used to all the little hills and sprinting past groups of people. I wanted to do it all again on Saturday, but I knew darn well that the park would be a zoo on the weekends and that there was little likelihood I'd be up any reasonable time before my Saturday lunch plans. I was right. But, in my defense I didn't go to bed until 4:30am on Saturday. Ahhh, to be young again :)

Sorry to not post for a week. I can't believe I did that! That is not like me. I promise to be better. I also haven't been to anyone else's blog in like for-ev-er, so I'll be stopping by in the next couple of days. I hope you all are doing well :) Viva la Central Park! :)

Rained Out?

2008-03-24T23:43:00.002-04:00

So, I checked weather.com for a report for NYC while I'm going to be there this week ... rain the whole time. And not just a slight chance ... at least a 50% chance every day I'm there. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind a little rain, but I'm hoping my running plans don't get washed out because of the weather! That would be a major bummer. I am bringing my stuff any way. I figure it can't rain the whole time and I have time Thursday afternoon, Friday morning and Friday afternoon to go, so hopefully I'll at least get to go once. Send me positive rays of sunshine :)

I did go running today for the first time in a week. I didn't go far, but it was about 15 minutes without stopping, so that is respectable for me and the amount of time I have been going for in the past few weeks. It was so warm here today. I can't believe it is only March! I was in a tank top, a t-shirt and shorts and I was warm by the end of my run. Craziness I tell you!

Tomorrow is all about finishing up some work for that part-time gig I'm doing. I told him I would be gone Wednesday-Saturday without computer access. I will have my laptop, but there are no guarantees I'll get online while I'm there. I don't want to be worried about this short-term gig when I have bigger things going on ... namely a potential new career!

I'll keep you posted on what happens next!

Working Girl

2008-03-22T23:11:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry I've been gone for a few days. Thanks to everyone who commented on my post about my digestive issues. I think I am going to forgo dairy from now on (excluding a splash of 2% in my morning coffee). I had another episode on Friday that was unfortunate. I don't know if I'm noticing issues with my body more because I've lost weight, or if it is because I care about my health more. Food for thought.

I have been super busy working on a short-term project for a company back in Maryland. I found out about them through my alma mater. I am hoping to be done by Tuesday because I am off on Wednesday to NYC!!!! There's a good reason ... I have an interview on Thursday. I am staying with an old, dear friend and catching up with some great friends while I'm in town. I don't want to jinx it, but I am really excited and hoping this works out and I get an offer. It would suck if I had gotten to the third round of the interview process for nothing! :( The second most exciting thing I am doing in NYC besides the interview ... I'm going running in Central Park on Friday morning! I am so excited. I never would have dreamed of doing that when I lived there before grad school. I still have to map my route, but I am so excited. Even if I have a bad interview, this will make me feel soooo much better.

Gotta run, time to dye Easter eggs!

Luck O' the Irish

2008-03-17T18:33:00.003-04:00

Since it is St. Paddy's Day and I'm 1/4 Irish, I thought I would blog about beer :) Actually WW online has a great article about beer that I wanted to share with you all. (There is also an adorable interactive game with points values for popular cocktails and mixed drinks, but I couldn't cut and paste the text, so you'll have to go to the site yourself - sorry!) So, grab a pint and read on about beer ...

The Good News:
Beer has ...
NO cholesterol
NO fat
Very little sugar

The Bad News:
Alcohol is one calorie-dense nectar, packing 7 calories per gram. That's almost as much as fat, which has 9 calories per gram. Don't blame the malt. "The most significant source of calories in beer is the alcohol itself," says Charlie Bamforth, PhD, chair and professor, Department of Food Science and Technology, University of California, Davis and author of Beer: Health and Nutrition, "The stronger the beer, the more calories."

* Most 12-ounce beer with 5 percent alcohol by volume contains 3 POINTS values.
* The typical 16-ounce draft pint contains 4 POINTS values.
* Most 12-ounce "light" beers are 2 POINTS values.
* A 1-pint draft of light beer is 3 POINTS values.
* A 12-ounce non-alcoholic beer is 1 POINTS value. (I think Kim mentioned this as an option way back when. Thanks Kim!)

Can it improve your health?
Some studies show that moderate drinking may help lower risk of heart disease, particularly in men over 45 and women over 55. But what is moderate? For men, it's no more than two drinks per day. For women, it's no more than one. Exceed your quota, and the risk of heart and liver disease, stroke and accidents negate any perks.

Don't follow the lite.
The terms "light" and "lite" (or any other cutesy variation) have no legal definition. They could mean the beer is light in color or lighter than lead—or anything else the staff at the brewery decided.

Watch your low-carb language.
If the labels reads "low carbohydrate," the beer must have no more than 7 grams of carbohydrates per serving. But any beer can tout "reduced carbohydrates" or "lower carbohydrates" on its label, just so long as the brewery makes a more carb-heavy beer. Shifty, eh?

Beers (12 oz.) with 2 POINTS value
Amstel Light
Guinness Draft (bottle) - (I was surprised by this one!)
Aspen Edge
Samuel Adams Light - (Good stuff!)
Bud Select

Beers with More POINTS Values
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Coors Blue Moon
Red Hook IPA
Kirin
Molson Golden

Got Milk? Maybe Not.

2008-03-15T14:14:00.003-04:00

Okay, so has anyone found issues with food after losing weight? I have discovered that I am lactose intolerant. Every once in a while I'll have a light Frappucino or some frozen yogurt from Golden Spoon (hardly any points) and I always get a stomach ache about an hour after eating or drinking. Very strange. Is is a lactose problem, or a fake lactose problem since I'm not eating things with whole milk in them. I gave up the Frappucinos about a month ago, but it's sad to give up "The Spoon" as my Dad likes to call it. I really enjoyed their peanut butter froyo. C'est la vie! Let me know if you've had any similar problems. I'm curious if it's just me. Thanks!

Dates (Not That Kind of Date)

2008-03-11T13:03:00.005-04:00

So I went to my monthly lifetime weigh-in at WW this morning. I'm up +0.6 lbs ... but, I'm toootally happy with that since overall I'm under my goal weight by about 5 lbs. I am still testing the lifetime waters and figuring out, as I talk about all the time (and I'm sure you're all bored hearing about :), what to eat and what not to eat and how much to eat and how often to exercise. So, being up .6 is super cool with me. It reaffirms what I have been seeing on my Mom's scale each week and makes me think I am doing pretty well maintaining. I didn't stay for the meeting. I was on the fence and decided to just go home. I think it was the free coffee at home that was calling my name :) whereas there was no free coffee at WW. I need intravenous amounts of coffee in the morning. Not healthy, I know, but we all have to have our vices :)

On Saturday my Mom and I went on a road trip with her hiking group to the China Date Ranch in California. (As an aside, I had no idea Nevada was so close to Arizona and California that you could just drive an hour or so and cross the state lines. Now, granted I lived in Maryland and taught in Virginia, so this shouldn't surprise me, but it does. It makes me feel like a little kid getting to go to a new state! :) I had never been to California!) The "ranch" was on the edge of Death Valley. We went on a 2 hour hike. It was pretty desolate (see pic above), which is kinda depressing, but there were these amazing yellow and purple wild flowers that were thick in some spots and supposedly hadn't grown in the last 100 years. Then we ate at the snack bar - not a healthy place to hang out ... date/chocolate chip cookies, date/walnut muffins, date milkshakes. I was really hoping for a salad or something. I will admit to having a date cookie that was really the size of two cookies. It was good and soft. I also had a couple spoonfuls of my Mom's milkshake. I didn't feel well afterwards. That will teach me to not ignore the Cherrios I brought with me. I mean, we all should have a cookie periodically when we want one, but it's not a healthy option for lunch :)

I had a really interesting conversation with a woman in the hiking group about WW. She was asking me all these questions because she's considering investing in WW stock. She wanted to know if I thought it was a viable company. It was fun giving her all my insights and telling her what I thought the company did well (meetings in Spanish, dedicated men's section on the website, tweaking the program on semi-annual basis, accessible content in the magazine), and what they should add (weekly podcasts of excellent meeting leaders, links and widgets on WW blogs). I miss using my brain on a daily basis so it was a fun conversation. And, of course, I recommended she look into all the stats on the stock on Yahoo! Finance or another type of financial site, which she seems to do and was just adding to her knowledge by asking me questions. Good times!

Hey, one last thing ... I am looking for new blogs. I like to check them daily, so people you know who post multiple times a week would be great! If you have any you love and would recommend, please leave a comment. Thanks!

It's a New Record Folks!

2008-03-07T21:38:00.002-05:00

I actually ran for 22 minutes yesterday without stopping! It is totally a record for me. I didn't start out my run with that plan, but I just kept feeling really good and deciding to keep going without stopping and I ran all the way home without a break. I was tired at the end, but it felt so goood! And I didn't feel like I was dying at the end either, which was awesome. I mean it was harder at the end, and it was up hill, but I think I could have kept going if I had wanted to. It is such an amazing feeling! I never thought I could run for that long. Remember when I was doing C25k and they wanted you to go from running for 10 minutes to just run for 20 minutes and I thought they were crazy! Well, I guess I did the right thing and kept going at my own pace (pun intended) and managed to work my way up to 20+ minutes. My longest run before yesterday was 15 minutes and 45 seconds and a shorter distance. It just felt so good to be running that I didn't want to stop. Isn't that crazy! I never thought I would say something like that. I'm the person who wouldn't run from the car into the store in a rain storm because it hurt my shins. Now I guess I am on my way to training for that future 5k race someday, somewhere! I think I am going to run a 3 mile loop (run/walk) on Monday or Tuesday. I'm looking forward to it.

I also ran today, but I took the short route. I *only* ran for 13 minutes (without stopping), which you all might know is still a fair amount of time for me. I'd like to get back into running intervals and that's what the 3 mile loop on Monday or Tuesday should help me do.

I had an interview with DSW shoe warehouse today. It's only $8/hour, but it's a job. They actually asked me what the fashion trends are today. I knew them because I am obsessed with fashion magazines these days, but I mean really kids, this isn't Prada or Dior we're talking about. Actually, it was kinda fun to know the answer. They have to do a background check, but they said they were interested. I should hear something late next week. The job might put a crimp in my running and hiking schedules, but I need to start making some money. I'll let you know what happens next week.

Shout Out to Meredith who reached GOAL!!!!

2008-03-05T20:46:00.004-05:00

Hey all, I just wanted to give a shout out to my old WW friend Meredith who reached goal last week! I met her at my great meetings before I moved and we've been keeping in touch via email. She was one of the people who inspired me to start running. I am so proud of her and all her hard work and dedication! And get this, she's running a half marathon this weekend. Woo Hoo! Hot D*mn! She's great and I really learned a lot from her during our meetings with our beloved Melvin. If you're reading this Meredith - Congrats again!

I wasn't very productive today, but I did run yesterday. I managed to run for about 1.25 miles without stopping. Very cool! I altered my route and made it shorter because I just didn't want to run uphill at the end of my route. This route was much flatter and easier. Yep, I'm not ashamed to say I took the eas-ier way out. I think you just gotta do that sometimes. If it isn't windy again tomorrow, I'm going to go running.

Cellulite & Mini Skirts

2008-03-03T23:49:00.002-05:00

Ahhh Mondays. Don't you just love them? For some reason I have been really depressed for the past two days. Just not feeling like doing anything ... longing to nap ... just really blah. I can't even say that it's the job search getting me down. But exercise did the trick again. I was glad I got out today and went for a walk. I walked with my Mom to the gym and then hung out in Target and tried on the new Jovovich-Hawk line of clothes. Cute. A little too bohemian for me. And they were juniors sizing, so you can just imagine what the denim mini skirt I tried on looked like :) (It's crazy to me that I'm trying on mini skirts! I think I have also realized that I'm a bit too old for true mini skirts. I think What Not to Wear says no mini skirts for 35+ and that's me! But one more aside ... I noticed when I got to goal that my cellulite isn't as prominent as it was when I was heavier. A surprising bonus.) Then I picked up some things at the grocery store and met my Mom after her workout to walk home. All told it's about a 3 mile round trip. It was so nice to be out in the sunshine. Not as warm as it has been, but the cold air felt good. It's amazing what mother nature can do for your mood :) I did feel a little guilty about not running home, but in the end I was just happy to get myself to do something productive! Ever have those kinds of days?

I think this funk has been going on for a while because I just realized yesterday that I haven't been journaling ... since February 21st! I hadn't realized it was that long. I've been a bad Weight Watchers member. I've just been counting points in my head, which I know I shouldn't rely on, but I've been being lazy. And I realized that while I weigh myself every so often, I haven't been weighing myself at my regular time (6pm on Thursdays) and recording it on the WW site. I haven't recorded my weight since February 7th! I can't believe I just fell out of habit with this stuff. It has been so ingrained in my head for almost 2 years. It feels good to be back on track though. I've been journaling for the past two days and I've updated my weight on the ticker at the top of the page. I've been maintaining, and I'm under my goal weight, so I have no complaints. But I'm still trying to get the hang of what to eat and what not to eat. I guess I am going to have to allow myself to struggle for a few more months before it becomes normal.

I found another article in the What's Your Workout series on the Wall Street Journal's website. This one profiles a woman who ice skates in her spare time. Not something I'd think of an adult doing, but I think it is cool and different. Good for her for doing something physical that she really enjoys.

Shorts Weather

2008-03-01T16:20:00.003-05:00

Sorry I haven't been around for a few days. There have been some technical difficulties with computers in my world lately. But, I have come up with a temporary solution to get onto the internet, so all is good.

The weather hear has been gorgeous for the past few days - mid to high 70's! It's February/March people, this is crazy! But I guess that's Vegas for you. I went to Target yesterday to look for shorts to run in. I bought two pairs to do a little fashion show for my Mom so she could help me pick one pair to keep. I think I've decided, but I think I'm going to wear them around the house with the tags on today to test drive them. I think that's *legal*. I was a little worried I jumped the gun on buying shorts, but supposedly the weather stays in the 70's and high 60's once March comes. Craziness I tell you. Mind you, I walked to the store yesterday in shorts and a tank top. It was loverly. It was weird again to be looking for smaller sizes. I've been so used to being a large or xl that it is strange to look for the smalls and mediums. And clothes feel different. The shorts are much shorter than I used to wear, but I don't think I'll have the problem with my thighs rubbing together that I had before. It is something new to get used to :) I'm still learning how clothes are supposed to feel. I've been having problems finding pants for the past few months. I'll try on a pair and they'll look like they fit, but they'll feel uncomfortable. As a result, I won't buy them. But I think I'm learning what clothes that actually fit me feel like. It is quite a learning experience.

Went on a hike today. Not very interesting. Lots of walking through the desert as opposed to the rock scrambling we usually do. Oh well, I suppose I shouldn't get too picky since these people are much older than me and are letting me tag along with their group rather than finding a group in my age bracket. They are pretty much all healthy and capable of finishing the hikes. I hadn't thought about it before, but now I know I definitely want to be that fit when I'm in my 60's. I don't think I ever gave a thought to how physically active I wanted to be when I got older since I wasn't physically active until the past year or so. It's a whole new way of looking at things.

The New Me, I Don't Recognize Her

2008-02-26T23:36:00.003-05:00

I've been feeling much better over the past few days, which is good because the weather has been beautiful and it would be a shame to not be outside...

I took a hike with my Mom Monday morning. It was probably one of the best hikes we've been on. The group was full of nice, spirited people and not too large - about 12 people. We hiked and did rock scrambling for about 3 miles round trip and got to see some gorgeous views of the Las Vegas Valley and The Strip. One thing that made me feel odd was that the guide was probably my age or younger. I have gotten used to being around older adults when I feel like I *should be working*, but I haven't really been around people my age in that kind of situation. It made me feel a little like a schlub - if that's even a word. (More on my job search in a future post.) The hike was invigorating and again reminded me how agile I have become and how strong I am. Definitely something I'd put in the plus column of why I am happy I have reached my goal weight!

My Mom and I took a walk to the grocery store and bank today. I counted it as only 1/2 a workout on my exercise ticker since it wasn't heavy aerobic activity. I have also been thinking that I should add some strength training to my workout. All I really do is aerobic activity and as a result, I look pretty squishy. While I am happy I don't need to remove any excess skin, I do think I need to add some tone to my physique.

I have decided that I will just be happy that my mom is inspiring me to workout and go with the flow. Yes, I would like to have the motivation rise up from inside me, but at this point, I'll take the inspiration where I can get it. And I'll worry about creating an exercise routine in the future in the future, once I get a job and am living on my own again. I'll just consider motivation to exercise one of the benefits of living with my parents. But, I must admit I still do get worried I won't have the guts to run again. Silly, I know. Every couple of weeks I feel like I'll forget how to do it, or I won't have the endurance to run for at least 8 minutes. I guess I am still getting used to my body being able to do these things and I am still proving it to myself that I can do it. Sorry to sound like a broken record. Thanks for the continued support! :) Some days I still feel like I still weigh over 200 lbs. and have all the physical limitations my weight gave me. I guess I'm not as used to this new body as I thought I was!

Under the Weather

2008-02-24T14:48:00.002-05:00

Hey there. I haven't been feeling so great for the past few days. I slept late on Friday and didn't work out because it was raining. Then I slept like all day yesterday and missed hiking. I was going to go running, and it was a beautiful day for it, but I was just so tired and out of it. I'm feeling much better today, so I think I am going to go on a long run/walk this afternoon. It's weird not working out for a couple of days, especially when my mom has been. It's like I'm worried I'll never work out again, which is ridiculous, but it is a little feeling gnawing at me. Working out still isn't second nature for me. I do it mostly because my mom is always working out and she inspires me :) I probably wouldn't work out half as much as I do if I didn't live with my mom. Should be interesting to see what changes when I get a job (*finally!*) and move out. But, that is a worry for another day.

What's My Workout

2008-02-21T21:55:00.007-05:00

So, I have been trying to think of ways to make my blog more interesting/entertaining and I realized that one of my favorite blogs regularly includes long quotes and links to articles on related content. (It just happens that it is about personal finance. It's written by BostonGal.) I haven't seen many weight loss blogs that do that sort of thing on a regular basis, so I think I am going to start doing it once or twice a week.

I found an interesting profile on Dylan Lauren in the Wall Street Journal called "What's Your Workout." Ms. Lauren is the daughter of lifestyle fashion designer Ralph Lauren and the successful entrepreneur of Dylan's Candy Bar an awesome fantasy candy store that started on Manhattan's Upper East Side. (I've been there. The flagship store is like no candy store you've ever experienced.) The article chronicles her workout, diet, the cost, and the benefits she's seen. Here's a portion of the article:

"The Workout:

Ms. Lauren was always active growing up, but says she primarily ran to stay in shape and avoided weights. "Everyone told me 'don't just run', but I was always so reluctant," she says. After a while she noticed that running wasn't changing her body to the degree she wanted. "It wasn't giving me muscle definition," she says. "They say muscle burns more fat and I knew as I got older I wanted to be strong and prevent injury."

Wanting to start strength training, Ms. Lauren started working with various personal trainers after graduating from Duke University. About six years ago she found her match in Tony Molina, a New York City-based trainer. He meets with Ms. Lauren twice a week at around 6:30 p.m. at the gym in her apartment building and takes her through an hour-long, full-body strength program that incorporates pulleys, tubing, free weights, slide boards and balance boards. "Tony knows that I get bored easily and need athletic workouts with lots of variety," she says.

Ms. Lauren completes two to three sets of ten exercises, performing ten to 15 repetitions of each. She isn't allowed to rest between sets, which keeps her heart rate elevated during the workout. Each exercise is designed to work a variety of muscles across multiple planes of motion at one time. For example, she may lay her back over a stability ball with her legs at a 90-degree angle with the floor and her torso elevated. One arm would be extended to the side with a dumbbell to perform curls while the other arm is extended straight up in the air with a dumbbell ready to perform a chest press. The exercise works her glutes, triceps, pectoral muscles, obliques, abdominals and challenges her balance all at the same time.

Not only are these exercises efficient in the way they recruit multiple muscle groups, but Mr. Molina says they are also great for stress management. "You can't think about anything else while performing them since they require so much concentration," he says.

Ms. Lauren does cardio on her own three to four evenings a week and prefers to run outdoors in Central Park when the weather is warm. Alternatively she works out at the Upper East side branch of the Sports Club/LA for 45 minutes to an hour. Lately she's been using the stair climber. "Some machines feel like they do the work for you," she says. "But this one is tough and it burns calories like crazy." The moving stairs require the user to constantly climb, lifting their knee and foot high enough to clear each stair or else they'll fall off.

Ms. Lauren was the captain of her high school tennis team. She missed the competitiveness and athleticism of playing a sport, and about a year ago started working for an hour with a tennis pro once a week at a tennis club near her apartment. She plays a bit more frequently in the summer.

The Diet
Ms. Lauren's diet used to consist almost entirely of candy, frozen yogurt and vegetables. "It wasn't very healthy," she admits. She now eats five smaller meals a day to keep her blood sugar from dropping and has added more protein to her diet in the form of fish, tofu and eggs. She avoids bread, pasta and potatoes.
"I have to have breakfast otherwise it screws up my whole day, plus it slows down your metabolism," says Ms. Lauren. She usually starts her morning with yogurt and fruit or an egg white omelet with vegetables. Mid-morning she might have a chai tea latte. For lunch and dinner, typically business meals at restaurants, she'll have a salad and some form of protein like tofu or fish.

Ms. Lauren says she has tried to do a no-sweets diet and couldn't manage. "I don't believe in that mentally," she says. "I have to have my dose of candy every day." Her favorites are gummy candies, particularly Swedish fish and red licorice. Every now and again she has chocolate cravings and she'll reach for a piece of Belgian milk chocolate. To avoid candy binges, Ms. Lauren sets aside days where she can eat however many candies she wants."

The article goes on to talk about some of the effort that it takes to put into her routine and the benefits she's seen. I like the fact that she admits to having candy, but I wonder if allowing herself to eat however many candies she wants to avoid binging, is actually a binge in and of itself. Overall I liked the depth that the article went into and the examples of exercise and food it gave. It's a lot more in depth than the weekly profiles on the Weight Watcher's site. I believe this is just one article in a Wall Street Journal series that profiles executives and their health and wellness plans. I'd be interested to see if they ever profile people who want to, or have, lost an amount of weight they'd be willing to share with the reading public. But, I couldn't find archives for the series. I'd also be interested in reading about someone who does exercise on more of a budget, but I've only been doing this as a student or unemployed, so maybe her expenses aren't that outrageous.

15 minutes & 45 seconds!

2008-02-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

Yep, that's how long I managed to run today without stopping! Before today I had only run for 10 minutes straight.

Now I know what you are thinking ... didn't she just say a few days ago she wasn't going to push endurance but instead increase the number of intervals? I know, but today I just felt so good and powerful running that I didn't want to stop :) Then I said, oh I'll stop when I get to this corner and then it was when I got to the park. Finally I stopped when I finished running along side the park. Boy, I was tired. But I was also proud :) Today and yesterday I found out that two different job opportunities weren't going to work out. So, running has reminded me, yet again, that I can accomplish something! And no potential employer can take that away from me :)

Walking & Talking

2008-02-18T22:13:00.003-05:00

Thanks for all the b-day well wishes. It was a good day :)

I've been going on long walks with my Mom the past few days. We're usually gone for about an hour. We just walk around the neighborhood. A lot of times we'll walk to Starbucks and I'll get a light mocha frappucino and she'll get a skinny hazelnut latte (the new name for the non-fat sugar-free lattes). Of course our Starbucks break is more points than we earn on the walk, but it is still nice to get out and move with someone else. We tried running together a few weeks ago, but running on the sidewalk hurt my Mom's knees. She's been running on the treadmill at the gym, but the sidewalk was too hard for her. It's a shame because it was really cool to try to keep pace with someone. It was very motivational. The last time I ran with another person I was a teenager and at soccer practice! :)

I've still been running. I think the last time I ran was Friday. I need to commit to expanding my route because it just isn't enough for me. But I'm still happy doing the intervals (8 to 10 minutes of running and then walking for a few minutes). I suppose I could push myself to up it to 11 to 12 minutes, but I think I'm going to go for endurance by adding another 10 minute run. I think I will give that a try tomorrow or Wednesday.

The job search is gettin interesting. I had a phone interview today with a very nice guy, but the position was just too close to what I was going pre-MBA and I just don't want to go back to being miserable at work all the time. I have an offer from another company, but we haven't agreed on salary yet and I am waiting to hear about a potential second interview with a consumer packaged goods company that sells natural personal care products. That one I'm really excited about, but I'm afraid to turn down the offer and risk not getting the job. It's nerve racking. I'm also applying for part-time jobs here in Vegas. The library rejected me - bummer. But I've applied at Borders and I'm going to apply at Barnes & Noble, DSW and Michael's. Basically, I'm picking places where I don't think I'll have to meet a sales goal. I learned at Ann Taylor I'm just not that good at sellling. I'm great at customer service, but not sales.

Things are movin' and shakin'! Stay tuned!

150th Post! Meme & Happy B-Day to Me! :)

2008-02-12T01:55:00.002-05:00

Okay, so this is a big post. Amazon Alanna tagged me with a meme, it's my 150th post! and I turned 35 on Wednesday. So, if you are interested in quirky things about me, read on ...

1. Do you like blue cheese? Nope. There are many cheeses I can't live without, but that's not one of them.
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Nada. Like Amazon Alanna said, my 5th grade health class gave me healthy fear of drugs and addiction.
3. Do you own a gun? No, but I learned that my dad had one when we were growing up. I didn't know until I was an adult.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I've never been to Sonic before. (Wow, I'm boring, aren't I.)
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? I used to because I thought he or she would get on me about my weight. (I had a really bad experience with a doctor once about my weight.) As a result, I haven't been to the doctor in years.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I love them when they are burnt on the grill in the summer!
7. Favorite Christmas movie? White Christmas. I love Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? I am a big coffee drinker, preferably hazelnut with 2% milk and two sweet & lows.
9. Can you do push ups? Barely, slowly and only on my knees.
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Probably my claddagh Irish wedding band. No I'm not married, I just wear it on my right hand.
11. Favorite hobby? Reading.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? Nope.
13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I am very messy, but I'm obsessed with organizational systems. Go figure.
14. Middle name? Marie.
15. Name 3 thoughts. I wish I had more pretzels. I'm worried about finding a job and I'm hungry.
16. Name 3 things you bought today. A bagel and two cups of coffee.
17. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, Diet Pepsi and Corona Light.
18. Current worry? Money. Finding health insurance. Finding a job. Ugh!
19. Current hate right now? Nothing actually. That's weird, right.
20. Favorite place to be? My parents hot tub, or bed.
21. How did you bring in the New Year? At home with my parents watching fireworks on TV. Woo hoo! :)
22. Name three people who will complete this? I have no idea. I'll have to think on that one.
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, they look like puppies and their names are Muffy and Minka.
24. What shirt are you wearing? A black v-neck cotton sweater.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Nope. Just like Alanna, I like t-shirt sheets or flannel. Even in the summer.
26. Can you whistle? Really badly.
27. Favorite color? Black for clothes. Red for most other things.
28. Would you be a pirate? Naah.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Patsy Cline and Mama Cass.
30. Favorite girl's name? Hope
31. Favorite boy's name? Jason
32. What's in your pocket right now? Nothing.
33. Last person that made you laugh? My mom.
34. Best bed sheets as a child? They had these beautiful ballerinas in pink on them.
35. Worst injury you've ever had? I have been super lucky - a sprained ankle.
36. Do you love where you live? No, but it's got its good points.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3 - family room and the two bedrooms.
38. Who is your loudest friend? I don't know. Does my Dad count? He can be really loud.
39. How many dogs do you have? I grew up with two dogs - Max and JR.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? Nope, but the super of a neighboring building did when I last lived in NYC. He gave me a mix tape. He was in his 60's. It was creepy and charming all at the same time.
41. What kind of cereal would you be? Cherrios.
42. What is your favorite book(s)? Pride and Prejudice and House of Mirth.
43. What is your favorite candy? Reese's Peanut Butter cups.
44. Favorite Sports Team? Steelers
45. What song do you want played at your funeral? Good question. Taking the Long Way, by the Dixie Chicks.
46. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Going to bed.
47. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? I gotta get up and go hiking. Motivation is not my strong suit in the morning.

That was fun. I've never done anything like that before. I'm going to tag Lily, Kim and Angelfish and ask them to do this next.

Have a great (what's left of) Saturday night!

You Learn Something New Every Day

2008-02-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

My dad went to the doctor today. He told us at dinner what his blood pressure is and how much he weighs. He only weighs 174 lbs. He's 6 foot. I almost freaked out. That means that when I was at my highest, I weighed about 50 lbs. more than he does. I am glad I didn't know that when I told him how much I weighed after my weigh-ins each week at WW over the past 15 months. I guess it shouldn't make a difference, but the context it puts my weight history in shocks the sh*t out of me. I kept considering what I had weighed in the past when I was at a healthier weight, and my mom would sometimes give me the perspective of what she weighed at the time, but it never occurred to me to ask my dad what he weighed. i guess i just figured men and women are different when it came to weight. is it sad that i am somehow more embarrassed now that i was so forthcoming about my weight during the whole process? i know i shouldn't have been and i'm sure that's why he didn't tell me, but wow, it really surprised me tonight. i know weight it just a number, and that it doesn't tell the whole story. one thing my mom pointed out is that he has like zero muscle because he never works out or does any kind of physical activity, and muscle weighs more than fat. i know its something trivial, but i'm glad i learned it today, and not last year!

I'm Back!

2008-02-08T21:14:00.000-05:00

Sorry for my upbrupt hiatus. I really don't have an excuse for it. I think I got overwhelmed with reporting my food choices to all of you. I did continue to keep track of them in WW etools. I didn't eat, overall, any better or worse than I did in previous weeks. I went over my flex points, but I had an equal, or larger number of activity points. My weight has been relatively consistent - I weigh myself every couple of days on my mom's scale. I haven't been to WW in weeks. I'm sorry I didn't keep my promise to continue to report my food choices to all of you. I know it works very well for a lot of people and I don't want you to think I was afraid of what you all would say in reaction to the choices. I just think I'm having a lot of guilt eating different things and not gaining. I am exercising a heck of a lot more than I did before I moved to Vegas, so I think that has a lot to do with it. But, I am feeling super guilty for eating meatloaf and steak and bagels and light beer and wine and not gaining weight. I still make modified choices, but overall I am eating differently than I did before. I am conflicted. I miss my old foods, but I do cook them from time to time for my parents. I still choose fish and vegetables when I go to restaurants. I just didn't expect this and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Anyone who has had experience with this, or even if you haven't, please give me your thoughts.

On a lighter note, I wanted to post the website of my mom's hiking group. They take pictures of almost all of our hikes. We went to Arizona hot springs yesterday. I didn't realize that it was actually in Arizona! It didn't take long to get there though, it was just over the Hoover Dam. I actually went in a hot springs pool in shorts I wore under my pants. It was so awesome and warm, but we didn't stay long because you had to climb a really tall ladder to get to them and not everyone wanted to do it. Here's the link to the blog for the group: http://aroundthebendfriends.blogspot.com/. Look at the Arizona Hot Springs entry and the Oak Creek Trail entry and see if you can spot the girl with brown hair in a bun and a red fleece jacket and running tights. That's me! :) (I wear a couple layers of clothing so I think I look a lot bigger than I actually am.)

I'll be checking out all of your blogs this weekend. Hope you are all doing well!

Day Two ... Accountability Test

2008-01-30T18:44:00.001-05:00

Not too much interesting going on here. I'm talking to an old classmate from my MBA program about a job posting at his company this afternoon. Not a perfect fit from the description, but nothing's perfect. I'll let you know if I decide it is worth pursuing. I decided to apply for a part-time position at the local library. Too bad the one in our neighborhood hasn't been built yet, or I could walk to work :) I'll let you know if they hire me - hopefully someone will :)

I have been trying to be better about eating. I was good yesterday until dinner. I should have eaten more as the day progressed - note to self for the future. Actually, my old WW meeting leader said that we shouldn't say "I was good." or "I was bad." when it comes to food. We should just talk about the choices we have made and if we could make better choices. So, my choices yesterday were good until dinner. Actually, until I went in the hot tub at 6:30pm. That's when I decided to have a beer. It just sounded lovely. But today I have made better choices. I'll post yesterday's menu first (in chronological order) and then today's so far (it's 3:49pm PST).

Monday:
1-1/2 cups Cheerios
1-1/2 cups Light & Fit non-fat yogurt
2% milk
coffee
apple
1 Corona Light beer
1-1/2 cups of spaghetti
1/2 cup marinara sauce
3 meatballs
1 glass of red wine
2 servings of snaps pretzels
1 Corona Light beer

Tuesday (before 4pm):
2% milk
coffee
2-1/2 cups Cheerios
1 apple
1 Greek salad (lettuce, tomato, 8 olives, onion, 1/3 cup feta cheese crumbles) no dressing at Panera's (I successfully avoided the bagel! :) Yeah me!)

My goal is to continue to make good choices for the remainder of the day. (Spaghetti was my downfall yesterday. WW says 1 serving of spaghetti and meatballs is 16 points!) We are going out to dinner tonight, so I may have a glass of wine or two. I know I can go to dinner without drinking, but if I can work it into my points, I'm going to indulge. But I'm going to balance that with a healthy dinner (no pizza!) But, I do think that I am going to save beer/alcohol for every once in a while (like when I go out) as I had been doing for the past 1-1/2 years. I agree with Jodi's comment, if it isn't in the house, it won't be a temptation. I usually don't think about having a beer until I see my Mom or Dad with a cocktail, so if I don't have it, I don't think I'll miss it. And Kim, thanks for your idea about the non-alcoholic beer. I've never tried it before, so it is something to think about.

Thanks for helping me hold myself accountable. I think I will get the hang of this during these 7 days of reporting to you all.

Day One

2008-01-29T18:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, all I have to report today is what I ate yesterday. I super embarrassed to admit it, but I promised, so here it goes:

1 cup coffee w/ 2% milk
1 cup Cheerios
1 Cinnamon Crunch bagel at Panera's
1/2 oz. hazelnut cream cheese at Panera's
1 large hazelnut coffee w/ 2% milk at Panera's
1 pork chop (lean)
1 cup green beans
1 baked potato (plain)
1+ Corona light beers
1-1/2 servings of snaps pretzels

I was so good when I lived alone, I never kept beer in the house. Now it is a temptation. I'm going to see if I can keep myself from having beer every evening (my parents usually have a cocktail before dinner). If I can't succeed, I'm going to ask my Mom to stop buying beer because I'm the only one who really drinks it and no one will care if it isn't in the house. I'll keep you posted. Tomorrow I'll post what I ate today. I know, not one of my more interesting posts, but you guys are keeping me accountable. Thanks!

New Bad Eating Habits

2008-01-28T20:01:00.000-05:00

I have started a new habit. When I go to the library, I stop at Panera's and get a Cinnamon Crunch bagel with hazelnut cream cheese. Usually I share it with my mom, but today I ate one by myself. At first I thought she was crazy for ordering one, now it has become a pattern I need to stop. I think I have only been having one per week, but that's like 3 too many each month! :) I think I have recognized the pattern in the nick of time. I think it has only been about 3 weeks that we've been stopping at Panera's. I never used to eat bagels and now I'm having at least one per week - eek! But I did go back to my roots yesterday and when we were out I had a big salad with salmon and no dressing. Now I know a salmon fillet is a lot of points, but because it was a late lunch, we didn't need dinner. (But in an effort for full disclosure, that meant that I ate 1-1/2 soft pretzels for dinner. Not good.)

I need to get back on track with my eating habits. I didn't officially weigh in last week because I wanted to go to the WW meeting tomorrow morning. The scale said 137.5 vs. 136.2 at WW the week before, but I don't remember what my mom's scale had said the week before, so it isn't an apples to apples comparison. I think I might try blogging about what I've eaten every day to insure accountability. I'm going to promise to do it for a week and see how it goes. It will be embarrassing, but at least it will make me face the music since WW etools hasn't been enough of a wake up call for me!

Back in the Saddle

2008-01-24T22:26:00.000-05:00

I feel much better today. I ran my 8, 8 & 5 minute intervals yesterday and felt good afterward. I am much more confident running for 8 minutes than running for 10 minutes, but I'm going to work up to 10 minutes at a time. I think tomorrow I am going to do three 8 minute runs, walking for 2-3 minutes between each. I am no longer following C25K because they want you to run for 20 minutes at least at this point and I'm just not capable of that at this point. I wish I was still on the program, but I feel better doing what works for me rather than push myself doing something I'm not ready to do.

Today my Mom and I went with her hiking group to the Red & Black Mountains in Boulder City, NV. We hiked for 6.5 miles. It was tough going up. There was a lot of loose rock and I only had running shoes on. Actually, the shoes are coming apart. The stitching is gone on both of them. They definitely need replaced. I think I am going to get another pair of New Balance. I have been running in them and haven't had any foot problems, so I feel kind of loyal to them. The view from the top was amazing. You could see the Las Vegas strip in the distance to the north and Lake Mead sort of south east. Very cool. It continues to amaze me what my body is now able to accomplish. I feel inspired again. I'm definitely running tomorrow and I think we might hike again on Saturday.

Thanks for all your support! As always, I appreciate your comments immensely.

Losing my Motivation

2008-01-23T13:30:00.000-05:00

So to answer the burning question ... Did she do pilates? I must admit the answer is no.

I have been uber-lazy the past few days. I'm not sure why. It isn't like I couldn't fit the exercise into my "busy" schedule. I guess, like everyone else, I get into moods when I lack motivation to move. It is just easier to surf the net or lay like broccoli in front of the TV. Or, I say I'm "busy" with errands and household chores and applying for jobs, even though I could totally push those items off my to do list for a hour or two and work out. I guess the important thing is not why I lose motivation, but dusting myself off and jumping back on the proverbial horse so that I don't go down the "slippery slope." I will put it in writing ... I am going running/walking today. There, see, now I can't back out! :) My Mom likes to walk to the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so I go with her and then run home. I'm going to extend my route home today so that I can add onto my work out. My plan is to do two 8 minute running intervals and then a 5 minute run. I haven't run for that many minutes total before, but I have done longer intervals, so I think I'll be able to handle it. It should be interesting.

I have decided to skip my WW weigh-in this week in favor of attending a meeting next Tuesday. I think the meeting leader is someone I will like listening to for a 1/2 hour and I figure I will just weigh myself on my Mom's scale on Thursday. It feels weird not to go this week, but they told me that they were only giving me "courtesy weigh-ins" since I'm Lifetime and they won't write my weight in my book. I guess they won't write in my book until February, since I think the rule is that you have to go back during Lifetime once a month to get weighed. I suppose it makes sense, but I often wonder how much scientific research went into making up these rules. I'll let you know next week if I found a kindred spirit in this meeting leader. Fingers crossed! Have I in the last 5 minutes that I miss my old leader Melvin :( Sorry, had to give the shout out. I know, I'm a little stalker-y, but I think a restraining order will be unnecessary.

Okay, time to get back to work. Take care!

Music to Workout to ...

2008-01-21T19:49:00.000-05:00

So Kim over at Discovering Me recently asked everyone what music they listen to when they workout. A lot of great song lists were posted in the comments. Today I saw an article on NYTimes.com about the "right" kind of music to workout to entitled They're Playing My Song. Time to Work Out. They talk about how many beats per minute (B.P.M.) a song has ...

"... For a stroll walker going at a pace of around 3 miles an hour, a remixed track has a count of 115 to 118 B.P.M.; for a power walker going 4.5 m.p.h., the count is 137 to 139 B.P.M., while the B.P.M. for a runner elevates to 147 to 160...." Supposedly dance music is consistently in the 120 to 140 B.M.P. range, and so is a lot of rock music.

It's a very interesting article and has some links to playlists. I need to update my iPod with new (to me) music I've gotten out of the library (Keane, White Stripes, No Doubt, The Shins). I need to make a run/walking mix. I haven't run since Friday - today I just took a walk with my mom. Lazy, I know. I might do pilates tonight, but I said that last night as well. Will she? Won't she? It's all very exciting and cliffhangery, I know :)

Not Sure What to Call This One

2008-01-20T19:11:00.000-05:00

Thanks so much for all the pilates advice. I had no idea there were so many devotees out there. I'm definitely going to do it again, but with a mat or towel under me b/c my tailbone hurt for about a day and a half afterwards. In fact, I may do it tonight.

So, the WW chicken/broccoli recipe turned out nicely, but I didn't use broccoli. I substituted green beans and it turned out fine. Just put salt, pepper and thyme on chicken cutlets. Put garlic in pan and brown. Then brown chicken. Add chicken broth and bring to boil. Add vegetables and allow to cook through. I served it with rice, but I didn't eat it. It was good.

I discovered on WW etools today that I have been TOTALLY overestimating the number of activity points I get from hiking. I had been putting in too many hours. I realized it today b/c my mom and I went on a short hike for only about an hour and it was only 3 activity points. Oh well. It makes much more sense now :)

I've decided for the time being to not apply to be a WW receptionist. I'm just not totally comfortable with WW meetings in Vegas yet and I don't want to push it unnaturally by having to work at the various locations. I think I might have found a meeting leader I like. She was the receptionist when I weighed in on Friday and she said she has a meeting at that location on Tuesdays. So I'm planning on stopping by in the next week or so. I didn't stay for the meeting on Friday morning because I didn't like the vibe I was getting from the meeting leader who was walking around talking with people and she looked anorexic and that worried me. (Oh, and the last meeting I sat through the leader said that we were all there because we were all food addicts and WW is like our 12 step program. I totally disagree with her and think it is quite dangerous to be throwing out terms like that when you don't know what they mean. I think it is possible that she thinks she made up the term and doesn't realize that there really are people out there who have an addiction to food/certain kinds of food.)

Okay, the hot tub is warm enough now for a dip :) Talk to you later!

Pilates!

2008-01-17T21:10:00.000-05:00

I just finished my mom's pilates DVD. It was very interesting. I've never done pilates before. There was only one exercise I couldn't do ... stretching my legs to the ceiling and making small circles with my feet. My stomach muscles weren't having any of it! It was a nice change from running and walking, but I have to admit I missed having an aerobic workout. My muscles felt weird during most of it. I do think I will do it again, but I didn't love it. Maybe it will grow on me.

I decided to postpone my WW weigh-in and meeting until tomorrow (Friday) morning. I didn't really bond with the meeting leaders on Thursday for the past two weeks, so I figure I'll give Friday's meeting a chance. I'm still not ready to stop getting weighed every week. In fact, my mom has a scale and it is sometimes hard not to weigh myself every day. I don't want to weigh myself every day, but it is so tempting with the little digital devil just sitting their innocently enough in the bathroom. Maybe the novelty will wear off.

I am starving. That's a problem since it's my turn to cook dinner tonight. I'm making a chicken and broccoli recipe from WW online. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Come on Over

2008-01-16T19:48:00.000-05:00

Whew! I'm outta breath. I just got back from running and did 18 minutes total - one 8 minute run, walk 3, and then a 10 minute run. I don't know what the mileage is because I'm running on streets. I suppose I could drive it to find out. That's an interesting idea. I listened to Shania Twain on my iPod. Good times.

I watched Dreamgirls with my mom last night. It was really good and Jennifer Hudson is amazing. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

I got a call about a potential job opportunity today. An old friend might have a position in her office back in the D.C. area. It would be so insane if I ended up going all the way back there. It still is just a possibility. But I figure her call will make me happy for the next 4 days. (At least that's how much mileage I think I can squeeze out of it :)

New Blog Title: Taking the Long Way

2008-01-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

Yep, I decided it was high time for a new title for my blog. "Last Pick" was what I felt like 10 years ago when I was a young 20-something in New York City and I didn't feel as pretty as my friends. (It was also how I felt at the start of my weight loss.) But now, I wanted something more accurate, more fitting, and hopefully more positive.

"Taking the Long Way" is the name of the Dixie Chicks latest album. There is a song on it called "Long Way Around." I really feel like that has epitomized my life for the past 2 or so years. I decided to change my life by going back to school to get my MBA - not the quickest way to change your life. I decided to take weight loss one day at a time and not rush it - and it took me over a year. Now I am looking for a new job/career. I've been looking since last May - so I am definitely taking the long way in that regard. I figure, I'd rather take the long way. It's like I quoted in a recent post - life is what happens when you are planning it. It may be frustrating to not be able to find a job and feel like my life is on hold, but I figure it will all be worth it. I should enjoy this time for what it is - time with my parents, time to exercise, time to figure out exactly what I want. (Please remind me I said this when I get frustrated! :)

** The url is still obviously lastpick.blogspot.com. I'm not computer savvy enough to know how to change it.

What Do I Know?

2008-01-11T20:14:00.000-05:00

I just ran for 10 minutes without stopping! I'm excited! I was out doing my run/walk and I had to go to the bathroom, so I decided to just try to run home. Lo and behold, it was a 10 minute run. I can't believe I did it! I think I'm moving onto Workout 2 of Week 5 now. Although, I don't think I am going to do Workout 3 (which is a 20 minute run). That's too crazy even for me at this point.

Some how I gained 1.4 pounds this past week. I'm not sure how ... I earned 24 activity points and had 16 flex points left over. But, I'm under my goal weight, so I know I shouldn't complain. I was actually worried I was going to lose more weight this week (I know, what a problem to have!), so if anything I am perplexed. I guess I still don't have this weight loss thing figured out yet after all!

I'm thinking of applying to be a WW receptionist. I don't think I want to be a leader. I'm too critical of their performance during meetings, and I don't think I could live up to the standard of the really good leaders I've seen, and I just don't think I have the knowledge base to be a good resource for people. But, I am starting to go stir-crazy. The community college here is looking for part-time marketing instructors, but I don't want to commit to anything for a full semester because I am hoping to have a job soon (fingers crossed!). I would feel terrible quitting in the middle of a semester and leaving the students hanging. It just feels different than quitting a job and giving 2 weeks notice.

Red Rock

2008-01-09T19:38:00.000-05:00

Hey there, just got back from a run/walk. It always feels good after I'm done. Although, I still look forward to how I feel during it so far. But, I haven't been pushing myself past my comfort zone, which I'm sure some people may disagree with. I'm going to do one more work out of three running intervals of 5 minutes each and then move on to the Week 5 workout that has an 8 minute interval. Yikes!

My mom and I did a great hike yesterday with her hiking group through part of Red Rock Canyon. You've got to click on the links of the trails on the right to see any decent pictures. We didn't do any "rock scrambling" which is basically climbing over large boulders, but we did cover more than 6 miles. The second half of the hike was very scenic, but it got quite cold. It was about 39 degrees and windy. I know it doesn't sound that cold to much of the U.S. in the winter, but when you think of Las Vegas, you don't think of cold weather.

Not much to report. Same old, same old ... writing cover letters, applying for jobs, networking with contacts via email, going run/walking or hiking, walking to Starbucks and using my Christmas gift certificate ... We are going to a nice buffet at a casino tonight, so I have an excuse to put on my nice jeans and makeup. I got a 2 for 1 coupon and my Dad is getting comp'd because he plays craps there. I'm excited because they supposedly have sushi (Hand rolls. I'm not adventurous enough to eat raw tuna steak. Rare yes, raw no.)

An Exercise in Self-Confidence

2008-01-07T19:40:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your kind words of congratulations about reaching Lifetime. It is so special to be able to share it with people who have seen me through the journey thus far - both the good times and the bad. I couldn't have done it without all of you :)

Got another job rejection today. I was pretty bummed. But I pulled myself up by my bra straps and sucked it up and applied for another job I think looks pretty interesting - corporate training in New York City. I just finished teaching marketing in D.C. for a semester, so a have some teaching experience. We'll see if they are interested. I got nothing to lose at this point. I'm also applying for another job tonight with a financial services company in their marketing department. Nothing like picking yourself up and dusting yourself off to start all over again.

And, I went for a jog/walk today. That definitely made me feel better. It was nice to be able to do something that no one can tell me I'm not capable of. I now know I am capable of running for 5 minutes non-stop without any trouble. I don't have to prove it to anyone. I just can do it. It makes me feel confident and successful while the job search is making me feel anything but. I didn't know exercise could make you feel empowered, but it has for me :)

Some people have asked why New York City since I drove all the way to Vegas. Well, it's really because that's where the opportunities are and that's where my contacts (not that they've been helpful thus far) are located. I lived there for 9 years before going back to school to get my MBA so it does feel like home. And it is a great, dynamic city. Although I have to admit, I was getting excited about moving somewhere new. It sounded like something that would be fun. But, who knows what's going to happen next! I could end up anywhere at this point!

Hitting the Ground Running (or Walking)

2008-01-04T19:14:00.000-05:00

So all the activity I got in today felt like a great way to start off Lifetime:

* This morning, I walked with my Mom to the grocery store and back to pick up stuff for dinner tonight. (I'm making lettuce wrapped shrimp tacos - yum!) It was a total of 3.1-ish miles.

* This afternoon, I walked/jogged Week 4 of C25k. Instead of the running intervals of 3, 5, 3 and 5 minutes. I ran 3, walked 2, ran 5, walked 2, and then ran ... 8! A good song, actually my favorite running song, came on - "Ready to Run" by the Dixie Chicks. It totally inspired me to keep running. I stopped before the end, and probably could have pushed myself to run for 10, but I didn't see any need to kill myself yet. I want to continue to enjoy this, so that I don't lose the motivation to go out and exercise. I'm not sure of the mileage on my jog/walk. When I was doing C25k on the treadmill (Weeks 1-3) I was doing about 1.25 miles.

I also went to the library and got more CDs out (The Shins, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Coldplay, Dixie Chicks, Death Cab for Cutie and Velvet Revolver). I also got 3 movies (Zodiac, Starter for 10 and The Last Kiss). It's better than Netflix!

Lest you all think I am completely lazy, I have been looking at job postings. The job with the casino/resort in Vegas didn't work out. I was bummed for about 30 hours, but now I'm fine and ready to move on. That most likely means moving on to NYC to live with a friend for 2 months and try to find a job there. I am also looking into going back to my old company in a different capacity. My car will stay in Vegas, and I'll just take the essentials on a plane to New York. It isn't a done deal yet. So, I'll be in Vegas for the near future. I'll keep you all posted on any major turn of events.

Weight Watchers Lifetime!

2008-01-03T23:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I went to my WW meeting and got weighed and I made Lifetime tonight! I had to explain that I had already hit Goal six weeks ago (I was down this week). They didn't seem to understand that I had been doing maintenance for six weeks. I supposedly get my certificate next week, which means I have to start going to the meetings. I mean I went to the meeting last week, but I just couldn't stay for this week. I was depressed again when I went in to get weighed and just couldn't bear to stay. I miss my meeting leader and I'm just in a mood where no one else will do. I am really happy about reaching Lifetime, but I guess I am just depressed about my job search. I wish I was happier about it, but I just can't seem to see the good things in life right now. I should work my way out of this in a few days. Reaching Lifetime really does mean so much to me. It is a scary responsibility to try to continue to maintain, but it is something I am willing to do. I've changed my life so much over the past 16 months that I just can't imagine going back to the life I used to lead. I don't know if I truly believed that I would reach Lifetime. I thought 83 pounds was just too much to lose. But I just concentrated on one pound at a time, one week at a time, and it worked - slowly but surely. If I can accomplish this, so can you!

Imagine What You Can Accomplish

2007-12-31T14:50:00.001-05:00

So I just got back from a run/walk. I'm on Week 4 of C25k. I've done the workout 2-1/2 times since I've been in Vegas. I think I am going to do it one or two more times before I advance to Week 5. As you can tell, I am not doing this religiously. My move and road trip threw my exercise schedule out of whack - I just wasn't willing to make it a priority during that time (sleep, packing and driving were more important). Now that I am somewhat stable, I am more comfortable making the time for it. I'm scared of Week 5, even though I don't know what it is like. I haven't been killing myself during Week 4, but it has still been challenging. I can only imagine what Week 5 holds for me! But one thing that is lovely is that I was right about running in Vegas. It is so nice to be able to go out in a long-sleeved t-shirt, a sweatshirt and running tights and not be cold. (I also have a headband I put over my ears.) The sun is shining, the view of the mountains is breathtaking. Fabulous! In fact, my mom and I are going with her hiking group on a New Year's Day hike. It's longer than I've done before, but I think I can handle it. I'll bring lots of water.

I have been thinking about new year's resolutions after reading some of your blogs. I hadn't thought about making any this year, but after reading your's I am getting inspired. I've found it's hard to think about resolutions when the biggest thing on my mind is getting a job. But, I am reminded by the adage that is attributed to the late John Lennon, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans." I have found that to be true the whole time I've been looking for a job. I've reached my goal weight and I'm almost at lifetime, I've started running, I've done a cross-country road trip all by myself, and I'm sure there are other things that just aren't on top of my mind. So, while I am looking for a job I obviously have the time and energy to do other things. So, keep a look out for my resolutions. As usual, thanks for inspiring me :) !

Viva Las Vegas

2007-12-29T16:18:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I wrote this post 2 days ago and then had computer trouble and it didn't save and so I lost the whole thing. I'm going to try to remember everything I had to say, but I'm sure I'll forget something. First and foremost, I'm safely in Vegas. I arrived on Christmas Eve from Albuquerque, NM which was a lovely place that I've been to about once or twice before. Little city, but beautiful during the holidays.

I only exercised once during my 9 day trip - I jog/walked through my uncle's neighborhood in Mississippi one afternoon. It was nice and made me realize I was ready for Week 4 of Couch-to-5k training. I had done Week 3 training one week before I moved to my sister's in Virginia, but I kept doing it once in a while during my journey - like at my uncle's. I started Week 4 a few days ago in Vegas. It was great. I can't believe I actually ran for 6 minutes straight! (It was only supposed to be 5 minutes, but I forgot to look at the clock on my iPod.) I did the whole workout once and then did half of it a few days later. I am going to do it again on Monday. I might stay doing Week 4 for two full weeks since it is so tough. (It transitions from mostly walking to mostly running from Week 3.) But, I need to look at Week 5 to see if that gives a more gradual increase, or another shock :)

I enjoyed food immensely during my road trip. Everything from a frosty at Wendy's somewhere in the south to pistachio encrusted salmon and a local wine in Marfa, TX. I made a few disappointing choices - the shrimp creole in Mississippi just wasn't that great. But, all in all I enjoyed myself and tried to make smart choices. Now that I am at my parents' it is a whole new set of challenges. They eat differently and at different times than I do, so I am faced with a whole heck of a lot more temptation than I was when I had my own place. But, I'm managing. I haven't used all my flex points yet for this week. (Granted, my week started on Thursday :) I'm just taking it one day, one morning, one afternoon at a time and trying to have faith in myself that I'll make more healthy choices than bad ones. And I am trying to exercise more. I'm going to walk to Target this afternoon, which is about a mile each way.

I went to my first new WW meeting on Thursday morning. I am back under my goal weight and I have only one week left until Lifetime! :) But, I am staying with eTools on the WW site because I know I MUST continue to track points for foreseeable future. The meeting leader wasn't on my wavelength, but he obviously cares about the people in his meeting and tries to give them good information. (He has this thing he does every week where he shows packages of food from various grocery stores and gives their portion points values. Everyone was expecting this and there were a lot of pens and notepads being pulled out when he started this segment of the meeting.) But ... he isn't Melvin my meeting leader from Maryland. I don't think I will go back to that meeting, but I do think I will go to a meeting each week. It was good to feel grounded like that and not just get weighed and leave like I usually do when I visit my parents in Vegas. And the familiar process was nice since everything feels different right now. I'll let you all know what the meeting leader and meeting is like next week.

Okay, I think I covered everything. I hope you are all well. I'm still trying to get through the last couple of weeks on all your blogs, so expect comments from me in the next day or so :)

Don't Mess With Texas

2007-12-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all. I'm in Abilene, TX today. I had a lovely dinner at Outback last night - seared ahi tuna (one of my favorites) on a bed of mixed greens and cucumbers with a side of broccoli and a little red wine. Love-ly. I had it all planned out to go to a WW meeting here last night, but I got in 2 hours late. There's one in about an hour, but I just don't want to get lost looking for it. I got lost last night and it isn't an experience I want to repeat! :) So, I guess this is one of the few weeks in the past 15-16 months that I won't go to WW. It feels weird and I miss it. I will definitely be going next week when I'm in Vegas. I think I am still on track. I weighed myself at my friend's and my uncle's places and I was 140 at both. Sounds good to me! Guess Lifetime will just have to wait a few more weeks.

I hope you are all well. I haven't had time to visit your blogs and I miss hearing what is going on with all of you. It's just tough when I've been driving for 7-12 hours each day. Oh, if you are interested in reading about my adventures, email me at trixiebelden2006 at yahoo dot com and I'll send you an invitation to my travel blog. (It's private for security reasons.)

Take care! Y'all come back now, ya hear!

Trixie

On the Road Again

2007-12-19T12:26:00.000-05:00

I'm in Mississippi now. I've been doing pretty good on the eating, but not so good on the exercise. Zero exercise for about two weeks now. I've just been so tired when I get up in the morning I haven't had the energy. And I haven't had the energy to do it after a day of driving either. I drove about 12 hours yesterday from Tampa, FL to Jackson, MS. Good weather. Good tunes on the iPod. Last night's dinner was a salad with no dressing, tilapia and vegetables and copious amounts of Diet Coke. But I did have a small McDonald's shake with my pasta salad for lunch. It was disappointing. I wanted a frosty, but there wasn't a Wendy's around. I won't make that mistake again.

My grandmother, who I saw in Florida, was cute when she saw me. She hasn't seen me with all the weight off. Actually, she didn't know I was trying to lose weight - we just don't have that kind of relationship. She'd worry and bother me about it. It was better that it was a surprise. She did say "I was wondering where the other half of you went to." I ended up laughing instead of being offended. I mean, if that's the worst thing someone says to me, I'll take it. And she's 84. I mean, I gotta cut her some slack. And lastly, it is basically true. Ah ... relatives :)

Now I need to go on the WW site to find a meeting for the city I'll be in in Texas tomorrow. I want to stick to my Thursday weigh-ins, even though I'm on the road. I've been weighing myself on people's scales, but it isn't the same.

Off and truckin'

Does Driving Earn You Activity Points?

2007-12-15T23:15:00.000-05:00

I've just started my road trip. I had a lovely dinner in Savannah, GA. Salad with hearts of palm (which I had never had before and were surprisingly yummy) and roasted mushrooms and mussels in a wine sauce with red peppers for dinner. (Sorry, no food porn.) I did have three glasses of wine, so I wasn't an angel. But, it was better than getting the cappuccino since they said, and I quote, "we don't have skim milk in house" How crazy is that! I haven't been to WW online to see how many points it all was. I am going to try my damnedest to go for a run tomorrow before I get back in the car.

Time for bed. I'll check out all your blogs at my next stop. Take care!

A New Road Trip Blog

2007-12-12T12:19:00.000-05:00

So, I've decided to do a dedicated travel blog for my road trip. I'll post pictures and give daily updates of where I am, what I've seen (besides rest stop bathrooms), and who I am visiting - including pictures of all the dogs and cats I stay with during my trip and any good Christmas decorations I see.

The only reason why I'm not going to do it on this blog is because I want to invite some family and friends to read the travel blog who I don't want to read this blog. So, it is going to be invitation only ... but if you want to have access to it, just post your email address in the comments and I'll include you on the list. Sorry for the hassle. I'll still post here during the road trip, you just won't get the exciting details! :)

I'm excited for the trip, but I'm also nervous. I wish I could just go home and be in my old apartment surrounded by the familiar. I don't think I have been between homes in about 11 years.

I have been making pretty mediocre/bad food choices for about a week now and I haven't been exercising. Traveling leads to temptation for me. I am also stressed about the job situation. I think that's why I had ice cream last night (albeit light ice cream, and I ate it in a small bowl so maybe it only looked big). It was so good I wonder what real ice cream tastes like! :)

Home

2007-12-07T09:39:00.000-05:00

So, now I'm sitting on my friend's couch with her cat Maddy in Manhattan. I have my favorite hazelnut coffee by my side as well. I got in last night and immediately it felt like I was coming home. The busy sidewalks, the traffic, the cold air, it just feels right.

I haven't mentioned this yet, but I got an invitation to move in with another old friend who lives in New York. He has a two bedroom with a cheap rent (under $1500 for the whole place) and I could move in in January/February 2008. (Yes, he's a guy, but we've been friends for 12 years and there's no sexual tension/interest there on either side.) He would be an awesome roommate, which is not the living situation I am looking for, but I don't have a lot of options right now. (The apartment/neighborhood is a little divey, so I have to check it out to make sure it is some place I'd really feel comfortable.) So, I need to run the numbers, but I think I could afford living there and paying rent/utilties if I got a good temp job even before I got a career-focused job. But, as you know, I am driving cross-country in a matter of 8 days to move in with my parents in Vegas. Moving to New York would be stressful because I would have more fixed expenses than in Vegas, but NYC has more job opportunities for someone in my field. But, to add another element to this story ... I got a second interview with a major casino/hotel/resort company in Vegas. I speak with the VP of Executive Recruitment next Wednesday and if that goes well I'll be invited to their offices to interview again around Christmas. (A stressful, but positive, way to celebrate the season if you ask me :) So, needless to say, things are very up in the air with me.

Well, I found a Weight Watchers meeting, no lie, 1 block from my friend's apartment. It starts in 40 minutes, so I have plenty o' time. I just ate a bagel the size of my head (ahhh, New York), but I am trying to tell myself that it was whole wheat so it wasn't that bad - ha ha ha :) Hopefully this third week of maintenance will have positive results. (Maybe I should add another ticker to my blog to track weeks on maintenance.) I feel like I have so much more to tell you all, but I will save it for other posts this weekend. Take care!

In Flux

2007-12-04T11:42:00.000-05:00

So, here I sit on my sister's couch with the TV on mute (a re-run of Gilmore Girls is on) and two sweet little dogs curled up next to me. They'd be on my lap right now, but that's where my computer is. I am all moved into my sister's house. Granted, many of my boxes are still in her living room, but all I'm waiting for is the green light from my brother-in-law as to where in the basement to put them.

This is the first stop on the "downsizing my life" trip. If you remember, I gave up my apartment to save money. I am leaving for my cross-country roadtrip to Las Vegas in about a week and a half. I'm nervous about all the driving, but excited to see all the different places in the country decorated for the holidays. Living and cooking in another person's house is difficult. We made different things for dinner last night, but she was super understanding and didn't judge. I did have a glass of wine afterwards, but just one. I think maintenance is going to be very challenging while I live here for two weeks, travel cross country staying with relatives along the way and then move-in with my parents in Vegas. I don't think my parents are ready for me to cook something different for dinner than what they are having. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. They have been supportive all along my weight loss, I hope they will be understanding when I move in.

So, here's my route for my cross-country road trip:

Start: Northern Virginia (outside Washington D.C.)
Stop: Savannah, GA
Stop: Tampa, FL
Stop: Jackson, MS
Stop: Abilene, TX (or somewhere in Texas)
Stop: Marfa, TX
Stop: Albuquerque, NM
End: Las Vegas, NV (hopefully on December 24th or 25th!)

Any suggestions of places to stay, things to eat or places to (quickly) see while I am in one of these cities would be greatly appreciated. Oh! and suggestions about what to take in the car to eat and have on hand so I don't succumb to Wendy's frosties for all my nutrition would be greatly appreciated.

Kate Harding's Shapely Prose

2007-11-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

So, I was just hanging out on the Angry Fat Girlz blog and saw a reference to Kate Harding's blog Shapely Prose and thought I would visit it. I. Am. Blown. Away. I haven't gotten through many of the back posts, but I want to draw your attention to these posts:

* Don't You Realize Fat is Unhealthy? ... Here she talks about blogging about fat acceptance

* It's Not All About You (Or Me) ... Here she talks about how blogging negatively about ourselves effects other bloggers. I am guilty of this, but in my defense I think we have to learn from our mistakes. I think self-acceptance is difficult for most of us.

I've only spent about 10 minutes on her blog and I am dying to meet her and have a cup of coffee with her and pick her brain. I don't know how you all feel about the concept of "fat acceptance," but I am all for acceptance movements and I am still having conflicting feelings about all the compliments I receive for losing weight. (I mean, wasn't I a good person before I lost all the weight? Didn't I deserve attention then too?)

So, Happy Friday!

Packing

2007-11-27T09:50:00.000-05:00

So I just dropped my parents off at the airport. It is always nice hanging out with them for the holidays. I am back in my apartment, which is now starting to look like someone is actually moving out on Saturday (which would be me). There are empty boxes in the corner waiting to be packed ... My dining room/office is now the moving staging area where furniture that has been deconstructed and boxes that have been packed are being stored until they are taken to my sister's house. We took two car loads over there yesterday. I'm going to try to take over more on Friday - and hopefully I'll be able to get another load over there sooner so that Saturday morning will be pretty easy and just my furniture. I have lovely friends who are helping out my sister, brother-in-law and I on Saturday. I just don't want to wear them out - did I mention I live in a 4th floor walk-up?

Yesterday I probably climbed the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment 5-10 times and, shockingly, my legs don't feel it today. I don't know if it is the running or the weight loss - probably both. And, I felt fine doing the moving up and down the stairs. It is awesome to feel this healthy and capable!

Okay, so at this point I am basically procrastinating either a) packing or b) grading extra credit assignments. I kinda want to go back to bed, but that would be the pinnacle of laziness. I need a game plan for packing the rest of my stuff. I think I am going to search online for packing tips. I'll share any good ones I find.

Random/Weird Things About Me

2007-11-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I just got home from AT. "Black Friday" as they like to call it in the retail industry wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be, or maybe our store just sucks - ha ha ha. (Don't get me started on how corporate screwed up the Q4 '07 fragrance launch!) I'm just glad to be home and I gain more respect for service industry workers every day.

So, Alanna has tagged me (thanks for thinking of me Alanna!). The subject is weird/random things about me. Well, you be the judge if they are weird or random, or even actually about me:

1. One of my best friends won the National Spelling Bee in junior high and was on Johnny Carson (Yes, I'm so old that Carson hosted the Tonight Show. We were bummed she didn't get invited onto Letterman.)

2. I played soccer for 8 years as a kid and in high school, but quit my senior year to become a pom pom girl with the marching band. My reverse-feminist act of teenage rebellion. Yes, damn it, I am smart, and yes, damn it, I want to wear a short skirt and shake pom poms at the Friday night football games! Ah, my misspent youth.

3. When I lived in NYC I volunteered with the Central Park Conservancy to do gardening in Central Park. It's like having this huge, famous backyard where you get to plant flowers.

4. At my first job I named a mixed drink for Grand Marnier, but they never marketed it. It was called the Grand Parisian (I know, super creative. I came up with 200 names. There was a $250 prize and I wanted the money baaaad :) I think they call it the Grand Cosmopolitan instead.

5. My family's nickname for me is Lump because my initials are LMP. It's endearing, believe it or not.

Okay, now I have to tag people. I pick ...

Angelfish24 at Patience
Vickie at Baby Steps V
Kim Under Construction

I want to see hear some random and crazy stuff people! :)

Pre-Thanksgiving Edition

2007-11-21T11:07:00.000-05:00

Hey there, so I am packing up for a short trip for Thanksgiving and then I have to work at AT on Friday and Saturday, so I won't be around for a few days. I got in a C25K training "run" this morning. I started Week 3 - so I had to run for 3 minutes straight. I was kinda nervous about it, but it ended up being fine. I wasn't too out of breath at the end of the 3 minutes and I felt like I could have run longer. My left heel was bothering me the whole time though (and my underwear was falling down the whole time - I haven't replaced my workout shorts or most of my underwear since I lost all the weight. Looks like I know what I'm going to be putting on my Christmas list :) It really isn't bothering me now, and it wasn't bothering me during the walking intervals. I don't know if it was psychosomatic pain or just stiffness in the morning. I'll keep you posted if it happens again. I'm planning on at least one long walk tomorrow, nothing on Friday (traveling and working at AT) and then running again on Saturday before I got to AT in the evening. I'm really liking this running thing. My mom was shocked when I told her I got up this morning and ran before breakfast. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday whether you spend it alone or with family and friends. I'm thankful for all of you! Happy Thanksgiving!

Cupcakes

2007-11-19T22:09:00.000-05:00

The potluck dinner on Saturday was fun, but it was an eating minefield. I did pretty well and avoided the things I couldn't identify the points for. But, I indulged on 2 small potato pancakes, 2 Black & Tans and 1 Magnolia Bakery cupcake (which I haven't had since I left NYC). I could have done without the potato pancakes, but the other choices were definitely worth it - although I probably would have been just as happy only having one drink instead of two (I was a little foggy the next day. I'm still getting used to alcohol at this weight.) According to my new points allotment I still have 16.5 flex points left for the week and since my weigh-in day is Thursday, Thanksgiving starts a new week for me. I'm glad I don't have temptations like this every weekend! I don't know how you guys with active social lives do it!

I did the 3rd workout for week 2 of C25K today. It was awesome. I felt really good and strong. And it was the first time I didn't get any cramps or stomach problems. I wonder if it was because I hadn't eaten for like 6-7 hours before I ran. Other runs I had eaten an hour or two before.

Oh, I wanted to thank Vickie for the suggestion of the maintenance blog to visit. I had gone there, but I haven't checked her archives, which I think I would relate to more. If anyone else has any new blogs they think I should stop by, please suggest them!

Lovely day for a Black & Tan

2007-11-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all of your lovely comments about reaching my goal! It is so great to get all of your support! It really meant a lot to me! :)

So, I am getting used to my new daily WW points. Now that I'm on maintenance I have 24 points, up from 20. I told myself on Thursday that I was going to try to ease into it. So, on Thursday I only used 21 points. Then yesterday I used 26.5 points. Ooops. I did "earn" 2 activity points - an overly generous allotment for my Couch-2-5K workout on Friday. I guess I'm just getting used to handling more points. I mean, of course there were days when I'd use 26 points, 6 being flex points, when I only had 20 daily points. (Sometimes I feel like a crazy person with all this talk of points, but I actually do think it is easier than calories. But, whatever works for you is what I say.) So, what I am trying very badly to say is that I am trying to not over analyze things, but to stay "on plan" as the kids like to say these days.

I have a potluck to go to tonight. I was going to be a good little WW person and make something from a WW recipe. Instead I have decided to bring a not-so-WW friendly drink to the party - ingredients for a Black & Tan (Smithwick's, or Bass, topped with Guinness). [The theme was bring a dish or beverage from your ethnic background, and I'm Irish.] It is an odd choice, because I don't really drink anymore. I don't plan on having more than one. I hope everyone else isn't as lazy as I am and that they actually bring food! Although I did eat a late lunch on purpose so I wouldn't be ravenous when I was surrounded by all the food. I'll let you know how it went tomorrow.

So ... I Hit Goal Today :)

2007-11-15T19:25:00.001-05:00

Yep, that's right, I hit my WW goal today! I was hoping it was going to happen. I closed my eyes when I stepped on the scale. My meeting leader weighed me and didn't understand why I had my hands covering my eyes (why I did it I don't know because you can't see the read-out). Then he looked at my card and gave me a high five. Some people in line were super cute and said supportive things. It was nice. I hung my WW star charm on my WW 10% key chain. For now, that's all the "reward" I need. I had said I wanted to commemorate my loss with a piece of jewelry, but that isn't in the financial cards right now. Maybe I'll celebrate some other way that doesn't cost money.

I'm nervous about maintenance. I'm definitely one of those people who is scared to eat more. I think what Mouse is doing - taking pictures of her food - is great, but my digital camera doesn't work so that's not an option. I need to concentrate on adding more protein to my diet, not more pretzels :)

It's been a long journey, but in some ways the past 15 months its take to get here have just flown by. One thing I have learned through this trip is that it is the little victories, the 0.4 lb losses or choosing smaller portions, that are necessary and make up the larger victory. I didn't lose over 83 lbs. all at once. It helps to know that with other goals that I set for myself I may not achieve them overnight, but with hard work and dedication, I can achieve them. Right now those goals are going to be 1) maintenance, 2) job search, 3) running - but not necessarily in that order :)

Thanks for all your support! I couldn't have done this without you - even the lurkers :)

Running at 14 vs. 34

2007-11-13T19:04:00.000-05:00

C25K was tougher today. I moved to Week 2's workout. I didn't remember it correctly, so I alternated between running for 90 seconds and walking for 60. Your walking interval is supposed to be 2 minutes each. I don't know why I insist on making this training harder than it already is. I think I am going to do it the right way on Thursday when I workout again, or at least walk in 90 second intervals. Running for the first 60 seconds felt pretty comfortable, but the next 30 seconds I definitely noticed was tougher. Still, I could do it without being completely out of breath at the end of the 90 seconds. I'd like to say that my body remembers running and is just readjusting to it - from the days when I played soccer in high school and had 2 hour practices every day. But, that was like 20 years ago (1986-1989 - I'm old!), so it is pretty ridiculous to say that my body is "remembering" anything. But, I am still enjoying myself and looking forward to my workouts. In fact today I cut my errands short so that I could go home and workout. I was all stressed out and needed a release. I remember hating running laps at practice. Now I'm nowhere near running as much as I did then, but its interesting how something you once hated is now something you look forward to.

Treats

2007-11-12T20:38:00.001-05:00

So, I avoided the siren's song of Mrs. Fields' cookies today. I always get a medium Diet Coke from there when I work at AT. I don't know why I tempt myself by going there, but I do. Probably because their medium Diet Coke's are big enough to stick your head in. At first it was "every once in a while" that I would get a "nibbler" - her mini cookies. Then it was just one every time. Then on Saturday I had 3. That's okay, but I realized that I wasn't enjoying them that much. That was the kicker. I am all for having cookies, but you have to really enjoy them. If you aren't enjoying it, it's not worth finishing. So today I actually went there twice and didn't succumb. Now I need to find a new treat that is worth it (sorry Mrs. Fields). I'll keep you posted.

Lazy Sunday + C25K Training = Gold

2007-11-11T15:13:00.000-05:00

Today is a nice day. I don't have to work at AT and I am pretty well all set with my lecture for class tomorrow. I have a little bit of studying to do, but not much. It's on different types of sales promotions, so it is something all the kids can relate to.

I just got back from the gym - did my last workout for the first week of Couch-2-5K. (I didn't use the incline function like the girl at my WW meeting suggested, but I up'ed the "speed.") It was great! I'm still really liking this and looking forward to running. I felt really confident running and sometimes didn't even check the clock on the treadmill until after I had already run for 60 seconds. I know it doesn't sound like much, but for me, the perpetual non-runner, it is. I'm looking forward to trying the 2nd level, which I think is running for 90 seconds and then walking for 90 seconds for 20 minutes. I'm trying to take a day off in between workouts. I never did that before when I was riding the recumbent bike, but I think it is a good idea since running is using your whole body. Tell me what you guys think.

I have been noticing my body jiggling a lot when I run (I need a new sports bra). I am definitely not toned. But I'm wearing an over sized long-sleeved t-shirt and pretty big shorts, so no one can really see much. No one was in the gym (it's in my apartment complex), so I didn't have a pace car, but the show I was watching on TV had a segment where a guy was running around a track and that was fun to try to keep pace with.

Okay, off to the grocery store and Target - my favorite store in the whole world. But I was just there on Friday, so I probably won't spend too much time there today.

Up in the Air

2007-11-09T20:09:00.000-05:00

So I have been eating non-stop today ... pretzels, Taco Bell !?!, Starbucks. I have made pretty healthy choices within those categories, but it still hasn't been a great day. I decided to have eggplant for dinner tonight to be healthy. (Not to worry about not eating enough, I had a late lunch.) I fell in love with eggplant when a friend made it for dinner this summer. I am pairing it with a nice Cabernet/Merlot. I don't drink much any more, but my sister was talking about what she was having for dinner and the wine she was serving and it is dark and rainy outside, so wine sounded like a nice, special idea. I know it will add more points to an already point-heavy day, but I'm saying what the hell, live a little!

So, an anonymous poster asked about some incline advice I had gotten from a WW friend. Unfortunately, it wasn't detailed advice. The WW friend just suggested not using the incline function on my treadmill to save my shins from the stress. She made it sound like it was a bad idea to use it. She did talk about running on pavement, but didn't talk about whether or not she does hills, so I don't know if it is only inclines on treadmills she doesn't like. Sorry I can't be more specific. I'll ask her more questions at next week's meeting and post her answers.

The move to Vegas is 95% a go. I gave notice at Ann Taylor. Thanksgiving weekend is my last day. I'm waiting to hear about a full-time job I'm up for around here. I guess I really won't know until December, but I am definitely giving up my apartment the first week of December and moving in with my sister and brother-in-law. And then there's the job in Vegas I interviewed for today. As you can see, things are pretty up in the air. But, I'll keep you all posted! :)

Couch-to-5K Training Session #2

2007-11-08T18:49:00.000-05:00

So, I "ran" again today on the treadmill. I felt a little more confident when I started, but it was actually a little harder to breath for the first 10 minutes than it was during my first "running" workout. It got easier as I stuck with it. And another woman came into the gym and started running on one of the other treadmills. I thought it was going to make me self-conscious, but instead it was nice to try to keep pace with her. I think I did my best when I was running "with" her. I'm sure her speed was set faster than mine, but it still made me feel somewhat like a real runner :) (I know, I'm getting ahead of myself!) I am definitely going to do it again on Saturday or Sunday, depending on my work schedule at AT. I got some good advice about inclines and shoes from a girl I see at my WW meetings. It also gave me an excuse to strike up a conversation - I've been wanting to talk with her because she is close to goal too and I wanted to know how she feels about it. I guess that would have been reason enough to talk with her. I just get shy sometimes. I know, shocking! :)

P.S. I'm 0.6 lbs. from goal!

It would be great if I could make Lifetime before I move to Vegas, but I think that is a little unrealistic. Actually, I haven't figured it out if it's even possible. I'll let you all know.

Luck Be a Lady

2007-11-07T23:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks for all your supportive comments on my new running adventures! I'll post tomorrow on how workout #2 goes!

So I got some good news today... I applied for the MBA Leadership Development Program of one of the big casino chains in Las Vegas and I've scored a first round phone interview on Friday! (I know I've been a little cagey about what I was in school for - I got my MBA, with a concentration in Marketing. Now that I'm out of school and there is little fear one of my classmates is going to find this blog, I feel 100% more comfortable talking about myself in specifics.) I applied because my parents live there and that is the industry of choice in Vegas. When in Rome ... :)

Ready to Run

2007-11-06T18:16:00.001-05:00

You'll never guess what you all inspired me to do today ... Run! I actually started the Couch-to-5K workout! I just got back from the gym, but my jacket away and started typing this post. It was awesome! I haven't tried to run since I played soccer in high school. (This includes when it rains and I have to walk from the car into the supermarket. I just walk because it always felt awkward or hurt my shins to "sprint" inside.) I did a 5 minute warm-up walk, which was good, because it got me used to the treadmill and my iPod. Then I did 20 minutes alternating running for 60 seconds and walking for 60 seconds. I was so inspiring and just the right way to start. I felt alive and powerful and capable! (And to think I was depressed all day today and almost took a nap instead of going to workout!) - Can you tell I like exclamation points today! - Around minute 9 my stomach started to hurt. It wasn't sharp cramps, just a low dull ache. I think it was because I had eaten about an hour before I started working out. But the alternating walking and running made it easy to work through. And I LOVED listening to my iPod while working out. I had never understood that before. I always read magazines on the recumbent bike. But the music was so motivating. Believe it or not the song that was playing when I ended the 5 minute warm-up and literally started running, was "Ready to Run" by the Dixie Chicks. It was fate. I would do it all over again tomorrow, but the training guide says to take breaks between workouts and not go to fast, even if you think you can. So, I'm listening to the experts and not doing this again until Thursday. I didn't even manage to do a mile (just 0.94 according to the treadmill). I walked for a few minutes after the alternating and it took me up to a mile. I'm not really concerned too much about distance, but it did seem rather short considering I used to walk that far to and from work when I lived in New York. Is it crazy that I'm thinking of signing up for a 5K race in Las Vegas since I'm most likely moving there in December? If running and I continue to get along (which I know there will be ups and downs) it will be awesome to be in Vegas this winter b/c I won't have to contend with freezing temps and snow. Okay, so I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Any advice on running would be most appreciated!

Better Than I Thought

2007-11-05T17:27:00.000-05:00

So the guest speaker went better than I thought it was going to. She talked about a lot of the topics and concepts I have been teaching about all semester. It was good to have some real life examples of these concepts. It was, unfortunately, not interactive. She invited them to ask questions throughout the presentation, and a few did, but for the love of God, they are undergrads, they aren't going to pepper her with questions at 9:30am on a Monday. So, it was a very one sided "lecture." I am definitely having an activity to get the class interacting on Thursday. I was embarrassed that this one jackass read the paper during class and wasn't very discreet. I had meant to tell him not to before class started, but I was talking to my guest lecturer and forgot. Can you tell he's getting a D for class participation this semester? He is beyond clueless, but he should know better.

I think I might go to that rec center in the next town over tomorrow to do laps. I haven't been there in about a month and I want to get 2 more workouts in before Thursday. I don't have to teach again until Thursday and I don't have to work at AT again until Saturday. So, that gives me plenty o' time to look for a full-time job, which I have been neglecting, and workout.

Working Weekend

2007-11-04T21:56:00.000-05:00

Today was more about work and less about being healthy. I had a meeting at Ann Taylor from 8a-10a, then I had to work there from 1:30-4:30pm and before and after I was grading exams. I'm disappointed because my students did worse on this exam than on the first one, and they didn't do so hot on the first one. Some students get As and Bs, so I know I'm not missing all of them, but I'm so disappointed with the ones who are basically failing. I'm going to change around how I teach the remainder of the semester to hope to reach those students who just aren't digesting information through the lectures. Tomorrow I have a friend coming in as a guest speaker. I hope they like her. I hope they behave. Actually, I've never worried about them behaving before, so I don't know why I'm so worried. I looked over her presentation. It's a little dry (kinda like my lectures :). And it doesn't seem like there's any room for audience participation. They are going to be falling asleep half way through it! But, it's a break from hearing me speak, so that is good.

Sorry to ramble about non-weight loss things, I'm just stressed and trying to control things that I can't control. And I'm trying to keep myself away from the pretzels. I've already eaten too many for today (4-6 points). I'll let you know how the guest speaker goes tomorrow.

A Voice from the Past

2007-11-03T16:56:00.000-04:00

I'm so glad I have this blog. I love sharing things with all of you, but I also love being able to go back to entries from last year and hear my own voice. I looked for a post I knew I had written in September 2006 about the top 5 things I'd like to do when I lost weight - things I was looking forward to. If you don't want to click through, here is the list:

# 5 Eat food in public without feeling like people are saying, "of course she eats that way, look at her" - I still get a little self-conscious when I'm not eating healthy, but not like I used to be. But I figure, I can eat what I want - no one knows what else I've eaten or done exercise-wise that day.

# 4 Wear a skirt without needing a girdle to prevent my thighs from rubbing together - I LOVE this one. I gave my girdle the heave-ho in May. I love wearing skirts now. I even bought a pair of shorts this summer.

# 3 Button my suit jacket - This one makes me really proud. I just got to button my suit jacket yesterday and it felt great.

# 2 Buy clothes in a real store instead of needing to buy the bigger sizes online - It is so weird to be able to do this. It is really confusing too - I have to stop myself from reaching for the bigger sizes.

# 1 Stop assuming the reason why a guy isn't interested is because of how much I weigh - I haven't really been thinking lately about guys all that much. I'm pretty shy and self-conscious. I don't think I'm ready to date yet.

I wonder how I'll feel in the fall of 2008.

The Good Ole Hockey Game

2007-11-03T00:20:00.000-04:00

So I had a pretty good day today. (I'm still counting this as Friday since I haven't gone to bed yet.) Here's my good/bad list for the day ...

Good: Interview for a real full-time career-oriented job went well
Bad: Not sure how I feel about the guy who'd be my boss

Good: Had impromptu invite to see the Capitals play the Flyers
Bad: Capitals lost

Good: Actually did my aerobics with weights exercise DVD
Bad: Didn't even break into a light sweat until the last 5 minutes of the workout

Bad: Went to Wendy's for lunch/dinner
Good: Only ate 1/2 of my small fries and had a plain hamburger (okay, with the bun)

Good: Got a nice compliment from a friend of my sister's about how I look now
Bad: Had to listen to him talk endlessly about his "good eating" habits in the same breath as he's describing how he binges on food and alcohol every 4 weeks (I had no idea what to say!)

Okay, off to bed. Actually I'll probably watch an episode of Law & Order Criminal Intent first. I love that show!

Turning Over a New Leaf

2007-11-01T18:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, so we are coming down to the wire folks. I'm so close to goal, my current weight on my tracker on my blog is covering my goal weight! (Look up at the top of the screen.) I'm getting excited. Someone in my WW meeting today reached goal. She was beaming. I don't think I really accepted the fact that it was so close. I don't know if I'll reach it by Thanksgiving, but it is a definite possibility. (I have 1.8 lbs. to go.) So, with this realization, I am vowing to turn over a new leaf ...

Inspired by Jessica over at Weight of my World, I am joining her November challenge. Below are my goals for the month:

* It's National Blog Posting Month and people are supposed to pledge to write in their blogs everyday. So, even if it is more boring than taxes (sorry accountants), I'm going to write something everyday. (See you back here tomorrow :) - I'm actually looking forward to this.

* I vow to exercise at least 3 times per week. I'm really going to do this. You WILL see the exercise ticker on my blog move this month! I will learn to exercise on land, or start going to the community pool in the next town over.

* I vow to drink at least 24 oz of water every day. I know this isn't much, but I am sooo not a water drinker (I have Diet Pepsi pumping through my body), so this is a big deal for me. I like drinking out of plastic bottles though, so the 12 oz size is perfect for me.

* I vow to try running (possibly with the podcast idea, thanks Amanda) at least 4 times this month. That is one time per week. I probably should do it more consistently, but this way, if I try one week and don't do it consistently, I can feel good about picking up from the beginning and trying again the following week.

I don't have any goals about pounds to lose because I don't know when I'm going to reach goal and I don't know what my body is going to do in maintenance, or if I am going to want to continue losing, so I don't want to put any expectations on myself. This is going to be a month of Non-Scale Victories. Tomorrow I am going to lace up my running shoes if it is the last thing I do! :)

Coming Clean

2007-10-28T13:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, so in recent posts I said I would: (a) take a break from trying on clothes and buying clothes since I was getting obsessed with sizes, and (b) actually try to start running by following the C25k plan. Well, I did the one I wasn't supposed to do and I didn't do the other one. Let me explain:

I ended up buying a couple things from Ann Taylor about a week ago. I bought them in various sizes, whatever fit, and thought I was doing a good job. Then I realized that I had actually spent $60 on a skirt that I'd have to wear Spanx or a thong with. I don't do thongs and I have been married to Spanx, or girdles, for the past 18 years. So, the thought that I couldn't wear this skirt without changing my comfortable undergarments has become stressful. (Need I say that I bought the skirt in a smaller size, of course excited that I could fit into it?) I thought about holding onto the skirt until I finished losing weight, but I tried it on with my suit jacket and it didn't look good - wrong style. So, back it goes, which is a whole process in itself because I work there and it has to be returned to a manager. Ugh. I have since not bought anything from anywhere, including shoes. I need more pants, but I am resisting until I have my head on straight and I don't get lured by little numbers dancing in front of me.

Okay, so about the running/jogging. I was going to go last weekend, but my feet were killing me from wearing the wrong shoes for 5 hours a AT, and then having to go back to work the next day. So, instead I soaked them, put Neosporin and band aids on the blisters, and tried to stay off of them as much as possible. They feel much better. I am not giving up on starting to jog, but I do think I am going to start in the gym, since C25k suggests running for 60 seconds and then walking for 60 seconds, etc., when you first get started. I think that will be too complicated to time without a sports watch on the trail. I don't know when I am going to get up the motivation to give it a try, but you all will be the first to know when I do.

Strategies for Fighting Weight Gain during the Holidays

2007-10-22T19:53:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I know this post is a little early, but I just read a great article on handling "holiday temptation" in the November/December issue of Blueprint magazine - a lifestyle magazine from Martha Stewart. (Please note, the cover shown isn't from the current issue. Unfortunately, they haven't posted the content on their website - big mistake from a branding perspective in my opinion.) Here are the hightlights from the article:

* Planes, Trains & Automobiles - bring a healthy snack and remember to hydrate

* Pub Night - avoid temptation by sitting away from the food and pick lighter drinks like light beer and wine, or suggest a more active past time like ice skating

* Thanksgiving Day - take two smaller helpings to satisfy food-pushy relatives, bring a healthy side dish, splurge selectively

* Office Orgies - keep to your normal eating routine and don't let your self get ravenous, hold out for holiday specialities (not just the same old red and green M&Ms)

* Trolling the Malls - bring a snack, just like traveling, opt for lighter options at the food court like steamed chicken and broccoli from the Chinese "restaurant"

* Party Central - keep your hands occupied with a drink and handbag and you'll be less likely to keep taking hors d'oeuvres, eat before you get there, hold on to the napkins you get with each drink so you can keep track of just how many glasses of champagne you've had

I'll admit the article didn't bring up any new ideas or solutions, but like them or not, they at least suggested strategies rather than just recommending to keep your chin up and use your "willpower" to avoid temptation. Ugh. (Although I loved the idea of keeping the napkins for all the drinks you have during the evening so you can keep track! Not that I plan on having that many ;)